Cortney Todd
  • Female
  • San Antonio, TX
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm not entirely sure all of what I'm supposed to say about myself. I have been through a lot in 23 years. I was abused by my father for a short time. He was arrested when I was four and I only saw him once when I was 19. I had a miscarriage when I was 16 which lead me to become a heavy drinker for many years. I have been sober for 2 years. I was in a string of abusive relationships from 17-21. I have two certifications one in education one in nursing. I work part time as a CNA for my aunt and I am currently in college to get a computer networking degree. My mother was really the only person who ever believed I would get out of my depression and make something of my life. She died on October 13 2013.
About my Loss:
In early 2013 my mother was told she needed a pace maker in her chest. She had 3 pace makers in a 4 month period. In October she had her final surgery. We believe that is what killed her. I was at dinner with my ex-fiance on our 1 year anniversary when I got the call that she was dead at the kitchen table. We could not afford an autopsy to prove that medical negligence is what killed her. It took the doctor almost a month to sign the death certificate. We had her cremated and spread her ashes where we had spread her mother before her. It has been 6 months since she died and people tel me it's supposed to get easier. It isn't I miss her more and more each and every day.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I'm not sure what this means. I am a CNA for my aunt I have been for four years.

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Cortney Todd's Blog

Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.

That quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson is a well known idea. I'm not so sure I agree with it. When you lose someone when you are old enough to remember them it tears you apart from your very core. You remember all the bad times when you fought over stupid things, when you were upset and said things you never meant but you never apologized for. You remember all the hugs and the laughs you shared afterwards knowing that at the end of it all you love each other endlessly. The gut wrenching pain I…

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Posted on April 27, 2014 at 10:08am

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Walter Craig posted a discussion

...both parents

I lost my mama to cancer after her 10 month battle with Vulvar Cancer and I had to witness some very horrific days. She suffered so much and I tried to be there with her as much as I could but she did not survive this monster and passed away.my dad was also battening lung disease and he passed away 7 weeks later. I am 32 and no siblings and no family of my own.some days I feel lost and I don't know if I can carry on...See More
Jun 11
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Speed Weasel posted a blog post

The Wheels on (My Grief) Bus Go Round and Round...

New Year - 2025!At the start of the year I returned to Thailand for another medical mission.  This was my fourth trip for this and I was somewhat ready/prepared for the heightened emotions.  Not sure why...no real connection to Jen or her accident, but in the past these trips offer some extended alone time, away from others, away from people that speak the same language and as such seem to bring the thoughts back to the forefront.  Strangely, the same levels of emotionality were not there.  Not…See More
May 30
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Speed Weasel commented on Dottie's status
"Dottie, do you find the anniversary dates to still be as emotionally difficult as the first couple times?  I find that some years, it is very fresh and raw, others almost (almost) slip by without fanfare."
May 30
Speed Weasel replied to Mabel Murphy's discussion My husband passed away
"So sorry for you with his passing. That is rough, that there has been so much time between the initial diagnosis and the final moments.  On top of the 'normal' grief, you may also start to feel relief, which is likely to add to the…"
May 30
LP is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
May 28
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Mabel Murphy posted a discussion

My husband passed away

My husband passed away last Saturday after a long illness. His memorial service is next week. We have three boys, ages 14, 11, and 6. I'm glad I found this place. It seems to be a place of great caring and support. I actually registered here a while before my husband's passing, as I was grieving for his loss after he entered a nursing home. He had been there since the end of 2008, after being diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's disease in 2006 and deteriorating quickly. He was only 58 when…See More
May 21
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Ab updated their profile
May 20
Walter Craig is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
May 20
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