Carol S.
  • Female
  • Hudson, FL
  • United States
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About Me:
Widow of 3 weeks. 51 years old
About my Loss:
After 28 years, My husband, Ken and my son, Kenny 21 moved to FL on February 2, 2015. We sold our house and packed up our belongings. I had taken care of my Mom whom had dementia and she had passed June of 2014. Now, Finally ready to move, the doctor tells my husband that he has stage IV cancer!. He has radiation and we move to FL. The cancer had grown so fast that The Cancer Center could not do anything. Ken died 3 weeks ago. I am a widow at 51 and live in a new town. I feel like I am in a nightmare and going to wake up and walk into the other room and Ken will be waiting there for me. Ken's cancer went into the bone and it was so painful. I spent every waking moment for 3 months trying to keep him as comfortable as I could. He died on March 10th. He was 53 and we were just ready to start having some fun in life. It isn't fair! I feel the same way. My heart has been torn out. I have been walking around like a zombie for 3 weeks in shock. Now, that I can feel, my whole body feels like it is being torn out from the inside! My best friend is gone! My husband has died! I have to tell everyone I meet. They have to know. Now, I want to die and be with him but it will not be fair to Kenny. My life is over!!!

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Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
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Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
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Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

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