Brian P Mulkerne
  • Male
  • Utica, NY
  • United States
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  • morgan

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Latest Activity

Brian P Mulkerne and Nora are now friends
Jun 18
Nora commented on Brian P Mulkerne's video
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Phyllis and Brian

"Thank you for sharing your love. Beautiful song. Sending love and hugs to you."
Jun 18
Brian P Mulkerne joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Apr 20
morgan and Brian P Mulkerne are now friends
Mar 30
Brian P Mulkerne left a comment for morgan
"Hi Morgan, thanks for writing me, I appreciate it. Please see the video I posted. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35E7cin_bs0"
Mar 28
Brian P Mulkerne updated their profile
Mar 28
Brian P Mulkerne posted a video

Phyllis and Brian

I wrote and recorded this song for my wife Phyllis two years ago. The song is about appreciating the love you have in your life, and drawing strength from th...
Mar 28
morgan left a comment for Brian P Mulkerne
"Brian,  there is another person who has been journeying here with us who has also been in the psychiatric field as a career.  Nothing other than the experience itself can give people on the outside the understanding of what this is like.…"
Mar 26
Brian P Mulkerne is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 26

Profile Information

About Me:
I am 59 years old, father of three adult children, the youngest with severe autism. I am a retired Psychiatric Social Worker, and have had a private psychotherapy practice for 20 years. I am also a professional blues musician.
About my Loss:
My wife died suddenly, in my arms, on 2/12/17, after 38 years together. She was 58 years old. There were no warnings; she was active, very attractive, and loved by everyone. She died of a brain aneurysm. I am devastated by the loss, but fortunate to have many siblings and alos very caring children who have helped me through this. I would have to say I have had a high degree of positive support which is still available to me, however I am now returning to working and experiencing being alone for the first time. I should add that my wife's mother also has lived with us for 12 years and she is now 87. She is also devastated by the loss, and although she has three other sons, they have been inattentive to her and I have been her only support.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I am a Psychotherapist in private practice and have extensive experience with severe chronic mental illness and treatment in institutional settings. In my private practice I work with children, adolescents and adults dealing with depression, anxiety, marital issues, developmental disability, and grief/bereavement issues.

I am not sure how to correctly post this video. I wrote this song  to my wife Phyllis two years ago. It's a tribute to our life together. Phyllis passed away suddenly on February 12, 2017. 

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At 2:14pm on March 26, 2017, morgan said…

Brian,  there is another person who has been journeying here with us who has also been in the psychiatric field as a career.  Nothing other than the experience itself can give people on the outside the understanding of what this is like.  I can only hope some of what you have practiced will help you find ways to cope but the pickings are slim when you actually get thrown into the deep water and forget how to swim.  It will be valuable to have your support system but you will find some of that rather perplexing as you go.  

Hopefully this site and our ponderings will help you know you are not experiencing feelings that are abnormal as society sometimes likes to evaluate them.  In the interim I can only say I wish you the resilience to   find your way forward.  58 and dying in your arms is pretty rough spot to be.  

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hope everybody has a loving good weekend and let's celebrate our Mom's for giving us life. I love you Mama!!"
2 hours ago
Linda Engberg replied to Jennifer's discussion They don't understand. in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, It has been 4 years since I lost my Husband and soulmate to cancer. My family and friends tell me that time will things better. To tell you the truth the only way I keep my sanity, is adopting a dog and seeing my therapist and…"
8 hours ago
KIM Montgomery replied to Jennifer's discussion They don't understand. in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, my husband passed May 2, 2017.  We had a wonderful marriage and we loved each other with all of our hearts.  Jack was an awesome person.  I am currently going through this with my own family.  I am away from my family…"
10 hours ago
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello, well I made it through my 1st anniversary without him.  It was a really hard day, Wednesday.  I miss him like crazy and love him so much. Today I just feel numb.  All these stages of grief are exhausting.  Working full…"
15 hours ago
Mike H. posted a blog post

Repost: Is It Wrong to Grieve?

Is It Wrong to Grieve?Have you ever had a brief bout with illness? Perhaps you recovered so quickly that you have practically forgotten the episode. Well, grief is not like that. “There is no such thing as ‘getting over’ grief,” writes Dr. Alan Wolfelt in his book Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart. However, he adds: “Over time and with the support of others, your grief will soften.”As an example, consider how the patriarch Abraham reacted when his wife died. The Bible says that “Abraham began…See More
17 hours ago
Angela commented on Angela's blog post I lost My Mom
"I think because my daughter is giving me my first grand child it has blocked out some of the hurt I feel. Even though I am not crying I do think about my mom all the time, everyday"
yesterday
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, I remember when the anger started burning inside me too. It was horrible and ugly and scary, and immensely powerful. I felt afraid to open my mouth in front of others in case I screamed and yelled and told them what I thought of them and…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My mom loved Judge Judy. You couldn't convince her that was not a real courtroom. She also loved The Shark Tank and Everybody Loves Raymond. It all seems like just yesterday since we watched those shows together. I love those shows, too, but it…"
yesterday
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello AnneJ and everyone,  In a couple of weeks it will be 3 years since I lost all that mattered to me.  Six months ago I started unpacking and hung some pictures where I live now.  I did it out of embarrassment rather than a desire…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
":)"
yesterday
Jennifer added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
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They don't understand.

How do you deal with well meaning family/friends who just don't understand what you're going through? 2 of my sisters-in-law still have their husbands.  One does not have a good marriage, she talks about her husband dying flippantly she says things like "I know if _____ died I would use the insurance money to go on that vacation he never wants to go on."  Then in the next breath "Are you still going on your cruise next year?  I could take (my husband's) place if you want so you're not alone."…See More
yesterday
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Today was a good day! I love you and thank you so very much Mama! I think of you everyday while cleaning up your home and getting it ready for sale. It is still hard for me to go there and not seeing you watching Dr.Phil and judge Judy! I have not…"
yesterday
Beth Swansboro posted a status
"I am just learning this new place to talk. Not real sure how it works. I will stop in again. Thinking alot tonite of my husband. Sad."
yesterday
Beth Swansboro posted a status
"I get sad when I see family together. My son who is an only child I feel pain for. He lost the person he loved so much and talked to alot."
yesterday
Beth Swansboro posted a status
"Been reading the articles past few days. Lost my husband Nov. 2015. Not a day goes by I wish he were here. I will like being able to be here"
yesterday
Jennifer commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Apparently, I have found the anger that my counselor and everyone else has been saying I was going to feel.  To this point, all I have felt is sad or numb.  Well, the last 2 days I have not been able to stand to see happy families.…"
yesterday
Diane commented on Angela's blog post I lost My Mom
"My mom had renal failure , she passed away December 2015. I still miss her everyday of my breathing, during this time I had broken my right wrist on a Friday Dec. 11 2015 my mom died on the 17. The pain was in so many directions, leaving the…"
yesterday
Diane posted a status
"It's been 2 years since my mom died, I still miss her , it will be 3 years really in December. I miss u mom. Love you so much,"
yesterday
Abigail Noell and Brenda Ann are now friends
yesterday
AnneJ commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi, Linda. I feel the same way as you. I feel like you could walk right into my home, sit down, and we wouldn't have to say a word and be completely understood by one another. It's been 3 years and 10 months since my Beloved man died, the…"
yesterday

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