Arielle
  • Female
  • United States
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About my Loss:
I lost my big brother Adam on September 27, 2010 to Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma. Only about 90 days after getting his diagnosis. He was one of the best people I have ever known. Kind and generous and thoughtful and always taking care of others before himself. He suffered so much in the few short months he was sick. I am tormented by terrible memories and images. And I still cannot fully believe or accept that he is gone, and that I have decades ahead of me to live without him.

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Anger

I do not know how to cope with this loss. I do not know how to function like a regular person, when I feel I have been altered permanently. I am filled with rage. Patience is not a virtue I was born with, and now I am pushed to the limit. Having a two year old son while going through this grieving process seems like an impossible juxtaposition.

 

I remember my brother's laugh, his expressions, his face and am jolted to my core with the realization that his being gone is…

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Posted on April 11, 2011 at 1:20pm

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At 1:14pm on May 22, 2011, Mary Elizabeth Webb said…
Take care, I'm thinking of you. I miss my brother as well. I will help you any way I can. Leu me know if you would like to talk.
God bless
Mary
At 8:24am on May 16, 2011, Mary Elizabeth Webb said…

I know.. I miss my brother as well. It is hard and especially hard on his children. I lost my mother to cancer when I was twelve and my mother was only 39.

I was very close to my brother. My dad had died of kidney cancer a few years before my brother, so my brother was the rock of our family. Then when he died, I never felt more alone than at that time.

I don't mean to come across as someone who lacks sensitivity, because I know what you are going through, but try to be strong (at your own time, when you are ready) for your nephews and continue to fill their lives with memories of their dad. As time goes on

place your energy from being sad into a positive outcome for others. When I help others through their trying times, I feel better.

I know the darkness and emptiness you have right now. It is something we all go through at different levels. We are all need to grieve. Take whatever time frame you need...

I care and I am here for you!!

I can't believe your brother was same age as mine!!

Take care.

Mary

At 8:00am on May 16, 2011, Mary Elizabeth Webb said…

Dear Arielle,

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your brother.  I, too lost my only brother to cancer in 2000. It was a hard fought battle. I miss him every day. I know the heartache and pain. I know the anger you speak of. Grief is difficult and there are no words to take it away. You have to learn to cope. You have to balance the sad with everyday living. Your brother would not want you to be sad. He would want you to live. Just because you live on doesn't mean you have forgotten him. Always remember the love you have shared through out the years. Remember, you are always connected..forever. He watches over you and listens to your prayers. Live on for him..I always feel like I want to live strong and courageous the life that my brother could not. My brother was  only 41 years old when he died. I myself cannot feel bad for me..he is the one who had the difficult life. I live on for him, I honor and remember him always. I am sad--don't get me wrong, I just don't let the sad rule my life.

please let me know if you need anything else.

God bless and take care.

Mary E

At 6:35pm on April 29, 2011, Barbra Ingrassia Fairman said…

I just saw your comment for me today. I am hoping maybe we can start a friendship, I definitely need someone who knows what I'm going through.

 
 
 

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