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Comment by Tracey Randolph on August 7, 2015 at 6:21pm

I have also been looking for a resource and support

Comment by Peter on August 7, 2015 at 3:38pm

Is anyone still here?  There really is very little support out there.  I bought the book "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One" and there is only one paragraph in the book regarding being the other man/woman.

Comment by Cathy Richardson on March 17, 2015 at 9:34pm

Lynden -please email me at catrich1964 @gmail.com

Comment by Lynden on March 17, 2015 at 3:00pm

Is there anyone still active in this group? I am currently in this situation and finding few places to turn, and few people to turn to outside of my therapist who is paid to be nonjudgmental. I have a huge hole in my life that I have to pretend isn't there.

Comment by Ali on December 15, 2014 at 3:01pm

My names Ali, and I was the other woman to a much older man. He was my heart and soul, and I was his. His wife was seeing someone else as well, but they decided not to divorce due to their son having a disability and them not being sure if he'd understand. He passed away in January and since then I've been a mess. I can't stand being alone, and the thought of being with anyone else is complete torcher. Nobody seems to understand.

Comment by Annie M on October 16, 2014 at 1:19pm

Dave, It will be 9 months on the 21st for me and I can tell you that it does get easier.  As life goes on, and it must, I find myself thinking less about my guy and more about what I am going to do to make the most out of the rest of my life.  I'm 72 and probably don't have that many more years to do my best but every day I do try to keep busy and look for ways to be helpful to those that need help.  It isn't an easy road but one we have to travel if we want to ever be normal again.  One regret, out of many, that I have is that I wasn't more present in our relationship.  I always thought there would be more time but then all of a sudden there wasn't any more.  That relationship changed me to the core and I'll never be the same again.  Please know, Dave, that my prayers are with you to get through this a day at a time and that you come out on the other side of this a person that your lady could be proud of.  God bless and keep you, Annie M  

Comment by Annie M on August 4, 2014 at 12:48pm

Does everyone on this discussion forum know that what we are experiencing is called "disenfranchised grief"?

Comment by Cathy Richardson on February 11, 2013 at 10:06am

Thank you Melisa, he was my best friend too. We had dated when we were younger, I was 19 and he was 22 and then we broke up. We didn't see each other for 25 years but I found him and e-mailed him. The sparks were instant again between us. He was diagnosed with brain cancer one year into our relationship. I miss him every day. It's incredibly hard to grieve in silence. I cry alot in my car or at night when my husband is asleep.

Comment by Melisa C on February 11, 2013 at 10:03am

I feel for you... I haven't a lover pass away, but if you are in that situation, it must be very hard. You have to grieve alone, can't share it with anyone. I send you good energy your way and be strong.

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