You're too young to be a widow

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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.

Members: 137
Latest Activity: Sep 7, 2018

Discussion Forum

Don’t know where to start... 2 Replies

I am new to this group I never wanted to join and am hoping someone has some insight on how to live each day without the love of their life. I’m a very recent (1/10/18) 37 year old widow. My husband…Continue

Started by Lisa Lennon. Last reply by Vicki Jan 24, 2018.

Falling in Love with Spouse's Family Member or Best Friend

I'm new to forums and discussion boards as a way to connect. Please forgive any redundancy in my hopes of reaching out.I'm looking to get some perspective from this community on a tough but not…Continue

Tags: spouse, member, family, friend, best

Started by Lauren Dec 11, 2017.

People can be so heartless sometimes 8 Replies

I know that, people dont know how to deal with the passing of a loved one, especially when they are young and we are young, but the hardest comment I have had to endure since the passing of my…Continue

Started by ShingingLight1967. Last reply by Bryan Kelly Reeves Oct 8, 2017.

So lost - he was taken from me at 52 3 Replies

I woke up last Friday, 8/5 to find my husband gone. He passed overnight of a heart attack. It was completely unexpected. We had a good evening the night before and it was the last thing I would have…Continue

Started by Angie. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Oct 15, 2016.

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Comment by Felicia R. Howard on February 12, 2015 at 10:18am

I lost my estranged husband Dec. 8th, 2014 and it is still hard for me. We were separated and I never got the answers to some questions that I had. I loved my husband unconditionally and tried to make my marriage work.  He died of a heart attack in another state. He had heart problems from years of unhealthy living and wasn't a candidate for heart transplant. People think that I shouldn't grieve because we weren't together, but we have a 21 year old son together and we were married for 9.5 years. I met him when I was 21 years old. I never thought I would be a widow at 44, I always thought widows were in their 60's.

Comment by Katti Teixeira on February 4, 2015 at 8:42am
Hello. I have never participated in a support group before. I lost my husband last week at the age of 34. He had been completely healthy prior. We live in New England and were still experiencing the effects of the blizzard. We went to bed that night after a day of snow blowing the driveway. He said he was tired, but neither of us thought anything of it since he'd been out in the cold snow. Just before 2 am he began thrashing around, as if having a nightmare, I tried shaking him to wake him, then suddenly he just went still. I called 911 and began CPR, but I knew in my heart he was gone. Due to the terrible weather conditions, it seemed like forever before the rescue arrived. They transported him to the local hospital and he was pronounced dead at 3:29.
The services were completed yesterday. Up to that point I felt like I just needed to make it until then. But now that it is over, I'm left feeling even more lost and alone.
He was my entire world. I do not know how to function without him.
Comment by Betsy Arnold on February 1, 2015 at 9:53pm

Hi Sarah, I am so sorry for your loss. You have found great support here. My name is Betsy, and I lost my husband October 31, 2009. He was 43, I was 45. Taking things one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time even, is all we can do. You are definitely not alone.

Comment by Sarah S on January 30, 2015 at 11:21pm

hi there I am new to the group I recently lost my husband of almost 6 years, he was 43 years old.  I am 38 and this is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.  I currently take things one day at a time

Comment by Leesa Lynch on January 29, 2015 at 3:33am

This is Leesa accidentally spend my comment before I was done we would have celebrated our 28th anniversary Dec 27th but we didn't get to because he passed away in our living room on Dec 6 2014 I'm so angry with God right now I believe that there is someone that God made for this you and a lot of people never met theirs bc they are in to big of a hurry to find their soul mate but I did when I was young I mean like 12 and he was 13 we had a very good marriage hardly fought love to spend time together everybody knew we came together when we were out n bout n if we didn't that was the first thing our friends ask was were was our other half we were suppose to grow old together but instead I get to spend it alone I want him back I need him so I can be whole bc half of me went with him

Comment by Leesa Lynch on January 29, 2015 at 3:21am

Hi my name is Leesa I'm 46 and this lost my soul mate my best friend the father of my children my lover we were suppose to grow old together we spent our youth together we met when I was 12 and he 13 on the school bus we had raised our children we and set everything up so he could retire early and we go see the world together that we had planned but in six weeks after we had first gone to he doctor he was gone and I was left alone God I miss,him 

Comment by MarieSte on December 27, 2014 at 10:35am
Comment by Robin on December 26, 2014 at 8:57pm
Hi, My name is Robin. I lost my beautiful Joe 12-3-14. I came home from work and found him on the floor. It was very unexpected. I have so many emotions and can't process this. I feel like I could have saved him. He had a heart attack 2 yrs ago while at home with me, and I did save him. The doctors said it was a miracle. He had 100% blockage from a clot. The reports haven't came back yet, but I know it was another heart attack. I'm so lost and alone. I only want to be with him. I want him to come get me. I want to know he is safe and happy. I think if I could know he is ok I would somehow be able to feel better. He had so many demons here on earth. And I want to know they are gone and that they can't torture him any longer. He was everything to me. He took such good care of me. He was my best friend for 23 yrs. We had only been married 2yrs. Our anniversary was 10 days after he left. 12-13-14. We were married on the 21st anniversary of our first date. He's been part of my life so long I don't know how to cope without him. And I'm not sure I want to. I miss him so much. Christmas was absolutely brutal. And my birthday is New Year's Day. I don't want to even think about it. I just want my Joe back.
Comment by Shawna T on October 31, 2014 at 3:56pm

Hi, I am new to the group and wanted to introduce myself.  Like you Courtney, I cannot believe I am a widow.  I lost my husband this month and it feels like I will never recover and be able to move forward.  I have a 3 year old and if it weren't for her, I think I would actually ball up in a corner and just die.  The pain is so deep and constant, it is hard to imagine this feeling could last for years and  years. 

@ Theresa, don't let anyone take away your grief.  You have a right to feel what you feel and that is normal. 

Comment by Courtney B. on May 18, 2014 at 3:46am

Hello. My name is Courtney. I became a widow six months ago, I was 29 and my husband only 34. I am at loss without him, I feel like this world has nothing left to offer me. We only had 10 years together and everything I do reminds me of him. I came to this site to connect with people that are going through what I am. Everyone that does not understand loves to give me advice, but they have no clue what this feels like. I literally do not feel like a person anymore. I don't know how to do this. I lost everything they day he passed, I feel the deepest sorrow for him. I can not believe I will never talk, touch or see him in this life. I sometimes like to pretend that he will be back, just so I can get through the day. But the clock never stops and he never walks through the door. I guess, I just want to know how do I do this, how do I live a lifetime without my love. I am young, and I do not know how I got through six months, I can not even begin to fathom six years. No one understands, my friends have their husbands and children, and I mourn alone.

 

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Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"Mindy, I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
4 hours ago
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

permanent grief

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4 hours ago
Brenda Ann left a comment for Lost
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8 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks M adams and Brett. Will wait for that time when I get over the guilt.  Starting my day with positive today. "
15 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I agree with M. I'm not one to give advice because I have not conquered those guilty feelings either. I have a feeling, and that is all I can go by, that one day we will grow tired of beating ourselves up, and that's when we will take…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, so good to hear that you can feel celebratory.  Engaging in life is important, it is something every parent wants for their child.  At the same time, I think in bereavement it’s hard to handle celebratory occasions because our…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Just returned from a small trip in India only. Whenever I celebrate, I feel guilty. "
yesterday
Shawn Hayter replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"How are you now?I know dealing with such problems is difficult. Still you need to move ahead in life. One of my colleagues was in depression and she took help from Voyance direct. Martine-Voyance was surely very helpful for her. You can also take…"
yesterday
Shawn Hayter replied to Jade Rogers's discussion Hi!
"Hello. I'm sorry to hear about your loss."
yesterday
Margaret Whitehouse left a comment for Margaret Whitehouse
"I am consumed with regret or guilt whichever you want to name it. My mom had dementia and was in extreme pain and dying week ago Sunday. My regret or guilt comes from the fact that mama took her last breath while I was talking to a good friend and…"
yesterday
Profile IconMelinda Pomana, Margaret Whitehouse, Shawn Hayter and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Brenda Ann left a comment for Lost
"So sorry to hear how lonely you are and glad you found this website. you can talk to any of us anytime you need. Hope to hear from you soon. Brenda"
Monday
Brenda Ann left a comment for JJ
"So sorry to hear of your loss, but so glad that you found this website so you can talk to people who have experienced loss and may have some practical suggestions. Blow is a list of things that will help you and your girls... HELP FOR THOSE WHO…"
Monday
Brenda Ann left a comment for JJ
"So sorry to meet you here but very happy you found this website. You can trust the folks here to listen to your feelings. They may have practical suggestions that may help you and your daughters cope. Here is a list of practical suggestions that…"
Monday
Brenda Ann left a comment for Theresa
"Dear Theresa, I am so sorry to hear you lost your mom but my heart breaks for you being unable to talk to her and say some final words. One thing I know for sure she loved you and felt your love for her. My mom and I have this kind of relationship.…"
Monday
Theresa and Brenda Ann are now friends
Monday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, as usual, I have to read your post over three times because that is almost the exact way I feel. I woke up back in hell today. Yesterday, I was feeling some comfort and how fleeting that came and went. I had a disturbing thought this morning…"
Sunday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I did have a sign from Husband right after his death and to this day it was the only one. I am so happy for you. Morgan, I just can't believe that every time you post it mirrors my exact thoughts, maybe our Husbands are both trying to keep…"
Sunday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Havent had enough energy to respond to the latest entries from Joe but find each one to be inspirational as well as challenging me to try and dig deeper to alleviate the pain of missing my husband. Not as easy as it sounds. I too have struggled…"
Sunday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I took that pic about 10 days ago."
Saturday

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