You're too young to be a widow

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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.

Members: 137
Latest Activity: on Thursday

Discussion Forum

Don’t know where to start... 2 Replies

I am new to this group I never wanted to join and am hoping someone has some insight on how to live each day without the love of their life. I’m a very recent (1/10/18) 37 year old widow. My husband…Continue

Started by Lisa Lennon. Last reply by Vicki Jan 24, 2018.

Falling in Love with Spouse's Family Member or Best Friend

I'm new to forums and discussion boards as a way to connect. Please forgive any redundancy in my hopes of reaching out.I'm looking to get some perspective from this community on a tough but not…Continue

Tags: spouse, member, family, friend, best

Started by Lauren Dec 11, 2017.

People can be so heartless sometimes 8 Replies

I know that, people dont know how to deal with the passing of a loved one, especially when they are young and we are young, but the hardest comment I have had to endure since the passing of my…Continue

Started by ShingingLight1967. Last reply by Bryan Kelly Reeves Oct 8, 2017.

So lost - he was taken from me at 52 3 Replies

I woke up last Friday, 8/5 to find my husband gone. He passed overnight of a heart attack. It was completely unexpected. We had a good evening the night before and it was the last thing I would have…Continue

Started by Angie. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Oct 15, 2016.

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Comment by Jessica McClain on February 12, 2015 at 10:50am

I have been silently on here for over 2 years now. I lost my husband 8/29/2012 suddenly from a heart attack while he was at work. For the new members I am extremely sorry for your losses. We have a son together he is now 4 1/2 years old and my husband lives on through him. I see him everyday. As our son gets older more questions, more anger seem to arise about not having a father. It has been a struggle that comes back around. It reminds me constantly how much we miss and love him, how hard it has been to keep moving forward without him. I would have never imagined we would have made it this far 2 years ago. We still have pictures all over, we still go through photo albums often, we have talks, we share stories and we have my husbands best friends around. There is always that missing piece of the puzzle that won't ever be found and at one point I have come to accept his death and stop questioning why. There is no time limit to grieve.

Comment by Felicia R. Howard on February 12, 2015 at 10:18am

I lost my estranged husband Dec. 8th, 2014 and it is still hard for me. We were separated and I never got the answers to some questions that I had. I loved my husband unconditionally and tried to make my marriage work.  He died of a heart attack in another state. He had heart problems from years of unhealthy living and wasn't a candidate for heart transplant. People think that I shouldn't grieve because we weren't together, but we have a 21 year old son together and we were married for 9.5 years. I met him when I was 21 years old. I never thought I would be a widow at 44, I always thought widows were in their 60's.

Comment by Katti Teixeira on February 4, 2015 at 8:42am
Hello. I have never participated in a support group before. I lost my husband last week at the age of 34. He had been completely healthy prior. We live in New England and were still experiencing the effects of the blizzard. We went to bed that night after a day of snow blowing the driveway. He said he was tired, but neither of us thought anything of it since he'd been out in the cold snow. Just before 2 am he began thrashing around, as if having a nightmare, I tried shaking him to wake him, then suddenly he just went still. I called 911 and began CPR, but I knew in my heart he was gone. Due to the terrible weather conditions, it seemed like forever before the rescue arrived. They transported him to the local hospital and he was pronounced dead at 3:29.
The services were completed yesterday. Up to that point I felt like I just needed to make it until then. But now that it is over, I'm left feeling even more lost and alone.
He was my entire world. I do not know how to function without him.
Comment by Betsy Arnold on February 1, 2015 at 9:53pm

Hi Sarah, I am so sorry for your loss. You have found great support here. My name is Betsy, and I lost my husband October 31, 2009. He was 43, I was 45. Taking things one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time even, is all we can do. You are definitely not alone.

Comment by Sarah S on January 30, 2015 at 11:21pm

hi there I am new to the group I recently lost my husband of almost 6 years, he was 43 years old.  I am 38 and this is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.  I currently take things one day at a time

Comment by Leesa Lynch on January 29, 2015 at 3:33am

This is Leesa accidentally spend my comment before I was done we would have celebrated our 28th anniversary Dec 27th but we didn't get to because he passed away in our living room on Dec 6 2014 I'm so angry with God right now I believe that there is someone that God made for this you and a lot of people never met theirs bc they are in to big of a hurry to find their soul mate but I did when I was young I mean like 12 and he was 13 we had a very good marriage hardly fought love to spend time together everybody knew we came together when we were out n bout n if we didn't that was the first thing our friends ask was were was our other half we were suppose to grow old together but instead I get to spend it alone I want him back I need him so I can be whole bc half of me went with him

Comment by Leesa Lynch on January 29, 2015 at 3:21am

Hi my name is Leesa I'm 46 and this lost my soul mate my best friend the father of my children my lover we were suppose to grow old together we spent our youth together we met when I was 12 and he 13 on the school bus we had raised our children we and set everything up so he could retire early and we go see the world together that we had planned but in six weeks after we had first gone to he doctor he was gone and I was left alone God I miss,him 

Comment by MarieSte on December 27, 2014 at 10:35am
Comment by Robin on December 26, 2014 at 8:57pm
Hi, My name is Robin. I lost my beautiful Joe 12-3-14. I came home from work and found him on the floor. It was very unexpected. I have so many emotions and can't process this. I feel like I could have saved him. He had a heart attack 2 yrs ago while at home with me, and I did save him. The doctors said it was a miracle. He had 100% blockage from a clot. The reports haven't came back yet, but I know it was another heart attack. I'm so lost and alone. I only want to be with him. I want him to come get me. I want to know he is safe and happy. I think if I could know he is ok I would somehow be able to feel better. He had so many demons here on earth. And I want to know they are gone and that they can't torture him any longer. He was everything to me. He took such good care of me. He was my best friend for 23 yrs. We had only been married 2yrs. Our anniversary was 10 days after he left. 12-13-14. We were married on the 21st anniversary of our first date. He's been part of my life so long I don't know how to cope without him. And I'm not sure I want to. I miss him so much. Christmas was absolutely brutal. And my birthday is New Year's Day. I don't want to even think about it. I just want my Joe back.
Comment by Shawna T on October 31, 2014 at 3:56pm

Hi, I am new to the group and wanted to introduce myself.  Like you Courtney, I cannot believe I am a widow.  I lost my husband this month and it feels like I will never recover and be able to move forward.  I have a 3 year old and if it weren't for her, I think I would actually ball up in a corner and just die.  The pain is so deep and constant, it is hard to imagine this feeling could last for years and  years. 

@ Theresa, don't let anyone take away your grief.  You have a right to feel what you feel and that is normal. 

 

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Something I have noticed is that the content of a dream may not be a big deal, but what you are feeling in the dream is where the power comes from. The dream I had was horrible. It was so short, but I had a sick feeling in my stomach throughout.…"
10 hours ago
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I dream about my Mom & Dad & thankfully they are always good dreams that are comforting.  An Aunt that I was close to is in a lot of the dreams with my parents.  I have one sibling. He is never in the dreams of my parents.  I…"
16 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I rarely dream about my mom. When I do dream about her it is almost always bad. I had a horrible dream last night. It was very short. I was standing near the front door of my mom's house. I looked down to greet my dog. There was a little puppy…"
yesterday
Lauren A Fernandez is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Nancy, I am sure everyone in our group can relate."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes we have no choice but to live without our mothers. Grief and guilt will be there through out and some days will be really hard than others. Yesterday was pathetic for me as my father said something that really hit me. I hope to see my mother…"
Sunday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Love this Linda.  Thanks for posting it. "
Sunday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Sunday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I relate to you all who have posted lately.  2 years for me.  2nd year was worse than the first as reality set in and shock lessened.  I am still in a trauma state of mind.  Forgetful, irritable, less patient.  I isolate…"
Saturday
Deanna N Nash added a discussion to the group surviving family members' murders
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Nothing feels real

My husband was brutly murdered 6 day ago and nothing feels real to me I'm still waiting to wake up or him to call me the pain is unbearable I don't know if I can go on anymore
Saturday
Deanna N Nash commented on Susie H's group surviving family members' murders
"6 days ago my husband and soulmate was brutly murdered and everyday gets a little harder I haven't seen him yet he's held up at the corners and I'm terrified to see him but I need to see him to convince my mind that this is real and…"
Saturday
Deanna N Nash joined Susie H's group
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Robin, thank you.  Bluebird was the honesty that i discovered on this site that made it possible for me to express what I go through.  Several others who write let me know too.  I tend to reach out here, particularly when I am…"
Saturday
Robin commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan - I lost my husband John, 9 years ago, when he was 46.  I come to this website every now & then, but have only commented a few times.  I relate most to you and Bluebird.  I can't believe it's been 9 years, and…"
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I really don't know what to say to all the newer people who come here looking for help and comfort because I have struggled for years. I did find an article written by a psychotherapist just the other day that made some sense to me about the…"
Saturday
Sharon batten posted a discussion

Missing my true love

My partner died 14 weeks ago and I am struggling big time without her, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left,
Friday
Sharon batten left a comment for Sharon batten
"I hate my life without her now I miss her so much, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left"
Friday
Profile IconSharon batten, Eileen A. Palazza, Deanna N Nash and 2 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Kathleen Jordan posted photos
Friday
Kathleen Jordan commented on Anna-Marie's blog post When does the crying stop.
"Even though dream moon can't do grammar, I agree. It doesn't stop...it will hit at moments out of the clear blue....4 years, 9 years or 20.  It is a loss, and it's real."
Friday

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