Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
my name is sheila and I lost my husband almost a year ago.He had cancer and I sat and watched him die slowly a little every day,his cancer was diagoned only 2 months after we married in 2002 so he won the battle for awhile.His was a rare type that did not respond to chemo or radiation so we were doing clinical trail the whole time they would work for a bit and then he would have to have more surgrey to remove the tumors.Finally in Jan 2010 they had done everything that they could do and sent us home with hospice the last 9 weeks he lived were wonderful and the most painful thing I have ever done.I relive the last 6 hours of his life over and over in my mind.I can not seem to move it for years I could always find a new med for him to take but not the last time we were out of options I felt so helpless and to have to sit by and do nothing drove me nuts,I miss him every day since March 16 2010
I too, lost my wonderful husband a year and 2 months ago. And I know what you mean, still seeing the last week and time of his passing on. I try not to and sometimes I am able to put it aside, but I will never stop- missing him. Never. And I had hospice for the last month for him and they were wonderful to both of us, but one never stops thinking of those moments and I so know what you went through. Bless your heart and I will pray that one day soon you will find some relief from your suffering and anguish. I am just starting to feel a tiny bit of relief in that I have quit sobbing and feeling so lonely. So, I am starting to feel a little bit of hope and I want you to know, it will come to you too. Until then, please know you have someone in me that feels and knows your horrible pain and suffering.
Take care of yourself, Shiela, as you are vulnerable at this time.
Your sister in grief, Georgia
my name is Becky, I am a wife without a spouse. My husband passed March 5th after 5 years of diabetic side effects, which seems unbelievable.
I was Tods caregiver, and sadly at the end it was the only role we had between us. I adored him and he me, but his care took over our life. Regulating meds, doctors of all kinds and apt. for same, bathing, etc...it left us little time to sit and cuddle and just be who we wanted to be. A couple in love. We married in 2002, second time around for both of us, but soul mates for sure. His diabeties turned ugly about 2 1/2 years after we married. Then came amputations, broken bones due to naropothy, long hospital stays, rehab in nursing facilitites and finally being bed ridden at home until kidney failure this past Jan. and death in March.
In December I broached the subject of outside help, maybe even a facility. I was exhausted, and didnt feel Tod was getting the care he truly needed at home any longer. He was frustrated with consistent bad new from physicians and being home alone (i was working full time for ins.) was taking it's toll.
Im here because I dedicated my life to Tod, and I have little else. My children which have been babysitting me are dedicated and loving...but...where do I turn. They are grown and have lives of their own, and I appreciate the giving of time and support..but it seems unfair for me to monopolize their time to heal and rebuild.
I need some type of outlet, friends, hobbies etc. I feel so lost and so alone. I miss Tod, the minimal time we had was so worth all the work of his care. Just one smile, one stupid joke, and touch.
Hi, I'm Marie Chapman and I lost my daddy on June 20, 2011 after a 2 year battle of ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. I thought I was prepared for dad's death, but once I returned home from the funeral in Texas, I found myself crying everyday. I live in Arizona while Mom and Dad live in Georgetown, TX. Thanks God for Skype because I was able to see and speak with mom and dad everyday until he started to take a turn for the worse. Towards the end of his life, he was in Altenheim Lighthouse Hospice House in Round Rock, TX. My husband, 2 1/2 year old daughter and I were able to travel to Texas and say our final goodbyes before dad died. My brother promised my dad he would not die alone so he, mom and I took shifts to stay with dad. On Father's Day, June 19, 2011, I had a long talk with dad. He was in a coma, but I knew he could still hear me. I told him he needed to go as mom was tired and I didn't want him to die on their 48th wedding anniversary (June 22). I asked "Dad, what the (blank) are you waiting for?" He died on my watch the next day (June 20) and I found out from a neighbor that night that dad said he didn't want to die in front of mom. That was a great comfort as I was feeling guilty about the things I said, but then realized, after speaking with Deacon Jim, that my dad would have told me the same thing. I'm glad he was able to hold his new grand daughter, Carolyn, when she was born 2 1/2 years ago and that he was able to watch her grown into a toddler. Carolyn now has an awesome guardian angel. While I'm glad that he is out of his pain and in Heaven, I'll miss him very much. You also think your parents will live forever, only to find out they are mortal after all.
My name is Georgia Garrison, having lived in Rome, Italy most of my adult life with my 2nd husband and now living in the United States. I lost my husband a year and 2 months ago and am still feeling the ache, but it is starting to subside and felt I wanted to give a little hope to others with my comment. You have stated up a wonderful site, as many of us have wondered just when we will start feeling more alive after our terrible losses. I, too, love yoga, reading and writing. It helps so much to forget the sadness.