Murder Victims Families

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Murder Victims Families

Members: 57
Latest Activity: on Saturday

Do NOT do this!

I have gotten to know most of your stories and all of them are so heartbreaking. I had to take a break from this site for awhile. I thought if I didn't keep dwelling on the murder (4 years ago) maybe my grief would subside a little. That did not work. I realized it only made me become more obsessed with my brother's murder.

 I became facebook friends (under a different name) with 2 of my brothers murderers. I'm not sure why. I guess I was hoping I could find something out.....which I have. I passed on the information to the detectives involved and was more or less told give up. Unless there is a confession or a witness who talks it won't be solved.

Now I am obsessed with watching these peoples lifes on facebook. It kills me to see them happy and free. I only made things worse for myself and now I can;t quit.

Discussion Forum

Finally! Finally! 7 Replies

Last night, I got a phone call from lead detective on my husband's murder case. My husband's killer has been arrested and is now in custody to face murder charges!. This comes 1 year, 1 month, 27…Continue

Started by Amanda Ab. Last reply by Mary Tsering Nov 27, 2013.

missing my brother 6 Replies

its been over a year since my brother was tooken from me...things dont get easier with time i was just getting over my moms death now this...its consumed my life i live every second of my life…Continue

Started by irene gomez. Last reply by Evie Molina Apr 16, 2013.

Blaming the victim 5 Replies

This past week I have experienced a very ugly side to several people. My mom was murdered by her husband several months ago. He subsequently took his own life. I hold nothing for him but anger and…Continue

Started by Amie. Last reply by irene gomez Apr 16, 2013.

So much anger along with deep sadness 11 Replies

My husband was shot and killed by a complete stranger over an argument for a parking space 2 blocks away from our home. I feel so much anger towards this person.  its because of that person, who is…Continue

Started by Amanda Ab. Last reply by Bern Jan 17, 2013.

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Comment by Levy T on July 7, 2014 at 10:55pm
My wife was murdered here in the Philippines on a robbery attempt while going to her job. It happened last may14. I am in so much pain and so much anger cause i know the police here wont be able to sovle the case. This such a poor country it will be just a cold case. She was my soulmate. It breaksmmy heart that me and my 3 kids wont have any closure..i miss her so much
Comment by Levy T on July 7, 2014 at 10:55pm
My wife was murdered here in the Philippines on a robbery attempt while going to her job. It happened last may14. I am in so much pain and so much anger cause i know the police here wont be able to sovle the case. This such a poor country it will be just a cold case. She was my soulmate. It breaksmmy heart that me and my 3 kids wont have any closure..i miss her so much
Comment by Cyn Rios on August 27, 2013 at 8:58pm
My brother was murdered two months ago in a triple homicide. I am struggling with acceptance still feels unreal. I don't feel hate towards the people that did this and I don't know if that will change. I just have this huge pain in my heart and wish I could talk to my other siblings but I guess it's too hard for them. I feel terribly sad and depressed but I'm glad to find a place like this. It helps a little to share with others that can relate. They have not caught those responsible and I don't know if they ever will. I won't to find a way to cope..
Comment by Shirley Holt on May 26, 2013 at 3:24pm
My sister was murdered by her estranged husband on March 12, 2013. I'm past the gut wrenching grief, but am struggling with a chronic sense melancholy. My sister and I weren't as close as I would have liked and had only reconnected for a few months when she was killed. Not sure how to function well any more.
Comment by Brenda Ann on January 14, 2013 at 6:04am

Berna, I am so sorry for your loss! That sounds so shallow when compared to your loss - murder is so senseless. Of course the Ten Commandments says: (Exodus 20:13) "You must not murder.", but Jesus put even that into perspective - (Matthew 22:36-40)"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  He said to him: “‘You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind.’ 38 This is the greatest and first commandment. The second, like it, is this, ‘You must love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments the whole Law hangs, and the Prophets."

What has happened to this world? (John 8:44) "YOU are from YOUR father the Devil, and YOU wish to do the desires of YOUR father."

(2 Thessalonians 2:16, 17) "May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and gave everlasting comfort and good hope by means of undeserved kindness, comfort YOUR hearts."

(Isaiah 41:10) Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not gaze about, for I am your God. I will fortify you. I will really help you. I will really keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness.’

Brenda

mawmaw1591@gmail.com

www.grief-and-comfort.com

Comment by Bern on January 13, 2013 at 7:25pm

My 20 yr old son. Someone shot him. They shot him over something. I don't know any details...but one (1). He will never call my name and ask me "what we eating".

Comment by tammy berryhill on December 10, 2012 at 8:29pm

My cousin who was more like my sister was murdered  2 weeks ago by a co worker...She worked at a college and was supposed to be safe..This monster had prior convictions...Should have not been working there..he took her away from her 2 beautiful girls and her family..All I can think about is what she went through..Does it ever get any easier???I dont see how it possibly could..Im so miserable,feel like I have no happiness in ife..I miss her more than i can ever say...

Comment by Amie on July 26, 2012 at 2:41pm

Hello Everyone, It's been seven months since my mom was taken from me. I can't explain it, I don't know if I was numb for the first six months. The last few weeks have been incredibly difficult. I was maintaining, but now the very thought of her makes my breakdown. It wasn't like I didn't feel anything for six months, on the contrary I was angry, sad, just a roller coaster of emotions. Now, this unbereable grief has settled in. I've been having a reoccurring dream that a faceless person debates about where to shot me, but in the end they always shot me in the top of the head. Everytime I think, "it feels squishy, I hope this what mom felt." Why after six months? Why am I struggling now? I thought over time it would get easier, not harder. The urge to call her overwhelms me regularly these days. Words don't ever seem to be enough to express the longing I feel for her. I bring this here because I know this there have to be others like me here.

Comment by Amanda Ab on March 22, 2012 at 1:58pm

Amie,

I feel you anger, frustration, numbness and pain. I am sorry for the loss of your young mother. All of your emotions are part of the grief after murder. I know it takes so much to go by on a daily basis while still feeling this inmense pain inside your heart. next month, will be 1 year of my husband's murder, and my pain is still here.  all i can tell you is take one day at a time, get close to your family and when things get to hard, just take one breath at a time.

take care.

Comment by Amie on March 22, 2012 at 1:28pm

My mom was married 23 years to a man that was accepted and loved by my family. They had had their ups and downs, but what relationship doesn't. In August 2011, I noticed my mom didn't call me as often anymore, but life gets busy. I knew that they had been arguing a lot more and his drinking had increased since he retired.

Three days before Christmas 2011 I was blindsided by a phone call from one of her neighbors informing the police were there and two people were dead inside the home. For whatever reason I never thought, "what happened?" The first thing I screamed, "he killed my mommy!" I knew immediately it was him without any indication of violence.

Over the next couple of weeks I learned so much more than I ever wanted to know. I can't believe me mom lived the last six months of her life in torment from the man she loved most of her live.

She was only 47. We were only 15 years apart, I thought she would be the person I would grow old with as silly as that sounds. She was the one constant in my live.

He had physically, verbally, and emotionally abused her. She was not allowed to talk to me, which in hind-sight explains why she started only called me from work.

The detective did a thurough investigation dispite already knowing it was a murder-suicide. He uncovered pictures of mom taken weeks before her murder of her black eye and many bruises. Those pictures haunt my dreams. The look on her face, she looked so ashamed.

My fears were that she had feared for her life and was running from him when he shot her. That was not the case. He was a coward. She was finishing her bedtime routine, in her pj's. She was at the bathroom sink, when he quietly walked up behind her and shot her from 3-4 feet away.

He immediately walked into another room, put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. I had hoped that he had hestitated and that death was not instant. I wanted to believe that he had laid there in pain and with the knowledge of what he had done to her.

Alas, that was not the case. He died instantly. It was my mom who had lived for  "seconds to minutes". The thought that she had struggled or lived in pain for any period of time eats me up inside.

Most days I ignore what has happened, I ignore that my mom is gone. I listen to old voicemails from her and think I'll call her back in a little bit. I can't face life without her.

I want the world to know what he did to her and I want everyone to hate him as much I do. I don't understand how anyone can think of him fondly. He was murderer, that nulifies anything else he ever did. This one act is so permanent that it voids out the rest of his existence to me. I become very angry with his children/family when they think of him in a favorable way. I keep my distance in order to avoid any conflict with them. I try very hard to remind myself that they did nothing wrong, he is the one I hate.

I don't feel these emotions subsiding. Everyday I am numb and if I'm not numb then I'm angry or inconsolable. It's been almost three months and I just don't know where to go from here. I don't want this to define me, but just getting out of bed in the morning takes all of my energy. Not much seems important anymore. No, I would never think of hurting myself, I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. I'm just lost without my compass.

 

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Lost Without My Mom

My mom died, August 17, 2009 of an apparent heart attack from heart failure. Her doctors never told me how sick she was and so I was blown away and am heart sick and lost without her.
8 hours ago
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Bern left a comment for L R
"LR Every word you said is how I feel today, yesterday and if I open my eyes tomorrow, I am guarantee to feel my son loss. I ask myself "Why"? No answer LR. No answer."
9 hours ago
JO B alexio replied to Wander's discussion I can't do it anymore
"me 2 im so sic of all multi loss iv had lst 1 wz 2wks ago so its 1 step forwed thn 100 steps bk it is  u r not a cowed or wicked u r not iv bean caled ths as well im bk 2 putng shuters dn not letng on 1 in coz im scred of lozing mre loved 1s i…"
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kim posted a status
"another day I woke up saying why? it feels like sauch a long time since I heard shawn call me mom, so many tears"
11 hours ago
Zell replied to Wander's discussion I can't do it anymore
"Hi Wander.  My heart really goes out to you because I can so relate to your pain.  I hear what you say about not wanting to live on without him.  The loneliness and loss is unbearable - how to function when you are emotionally…"
11 hours ago
Wander replied to Wander's discussion I can't do it anymore
"Oh, Zell, I would give *anything* for that experience! If I felt hope anymore, it would give me some. I woke up crying today and have barely stopped since. It's just as bluebird said: " I died when my husband died, it's just…"
12 hours ago
lissa ann tucker replied to lissa ann tucker's discussion Lost my son
"I am sorry for your loss as well. it is nothing I would wish for any one. I would have done anything for my boy, Rory. It is overwhelming. in the back of my mind I always was aware that any of us could lose someone we love, but when it actually…"
12 hours ago
lissa ann tucker replied to lissa ann tucker's discussion Lost my son
"the word "void" aptly describes what I feel right now. a loss so deep it is as if someone has burned a hole into my very being., and put a hot poker into my heart. I am sorry we both have to go through this grief. it is nothing I would…"
12 hours ago
Connie K replied to Ivis Diaz's discussion Lost in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Ivis, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sorry to have to welcome you to this site. I lost my 17 year old son suddenly in a car accident caused by another. It's been 19 months for me but seems like yesterday. I too keep saying "Please, you…"
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Connie K commented on kim's status
"I know - it really is exhausting. I am trying to move on and do things but I feel so much anxiety. I just can't find any peace."
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Connie K commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"That's how I feel too Linda. Sometimes I just can't let that thought in. It is just too hard to accept. It makes my heart flutter just to imagine hearing my Daniel's sweet voice and get that hug. Oh how can they be gone? Sometimes I…"
14 hours ago
Jeff R commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's been about a year and a half since my Mom passed.  Not sure where the time went; it's just scary.  While the open wound of loss has subsided some, it doesn't go away completely.  I still miss my Mom every day. It…"
14 hours ago
Linda commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"every day I miss my daughter so so much, but today is one of those days where I simply can't wrap my mind around the fact that I'll never see her again while I still live. that i'll never hear her voice again, that we'll never…"
16 hours ago
Zell replied to Wander's discussion I can't do it anymore
"Good morning Wander...well its morning here anyway.  I just wanted to share with you that not long after I replied to your post I was talking to my love and crying and apologizing for not being able to be happy without him and carrying on like…"
21 hours ago

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