Missing my Son or Daughter

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Missing my Son  or  Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.

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Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter 329 Replies

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Comment by Ann Edmondson on June 13, 2011 at 3:41am
Lazondrol (Nicole) ~ I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter. My prayers are with you. It is never easy when you lose a child no matter what their age. From what you wrote it sounds as if your daughter was loved and touched the lives of many people. My only advice would be to let others see your grief. It may help them be able to understand their own grief over the loss of your daughter. Too many people feel they must be stoic and not show emotion when they grieve. It is OK to grieve. I often find myself sometimes shedding tears when in public still to this day after four years. It is part of life.
Comment by Lazondral Nelson (Nicole) on June 12, 2011 at 10:05pm
My daughter Kashmir passed away on April 12, 2011. She was 20 years old. She was 2 months and 8 days away from her 21st birthday. She was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic luekemia in December 2010. She was in her 4th stage of chemo, which was going worse than the others before. She was upbeat and encouraging. You left her feeling uplifted and she was the one who was sick! I am still shocked and kind of numb. She was extremely outgoing with a love for people. She was loved by everybody.She was going to college and had a part-time job. She wanted to be a lawyer. All of that is gone now. My 2 sons and I have a bond but we were very close. I miss her so much. I was overwhelmed by the love and support from everyone. Her funeral was so big we did not have enough room for everybody. The overflow room was full. People were standing everywhere. All the wonderful ways that she had touched others truly amazed me. Sometimes I cry all night. I have not slept well in months (since she was diagnosed). I stopped working in January to be there for her at the hospital. I do not regret that decision. I don't know what to do now. I feel stuck. If it were not for my faith, family and friends I would be a basket case. I have started to embrace the pain instead of ignoring it. It has been 2 months since she has been gone and no one seems to understand. I am extremely skilled in putting a mask on in front of others. I prefer to grieve in private. Reading the posts of others helped me tremendously. Thanks for providing an outlet. I am sorry for everyone's losses. I hope that I can be a blessing to someone too.
Comment by Vicki Giddens on June 3, 2011 at 7:54pm

Thank you Laura.  Brittney was a wonderful person.  Loved by everyone who knew her.  She was always there for you.  Whenever you needed help with something you called Brittney.  She never failed to tell you she loved you before she left or hung up on the phone.  Her laugh was contagious. You couldn't help but laugh with her.  I miss her laugh so much :(  I am sorry for your loss too.  For everyone who has lost someone they love.  I never knew how precious the little things in life are.  A hug. A smile.  What I would give for one smile from her.  I Love You Brittney!  I talk to her sometimes.  I hope that doesn't make me crazy. I feel better when I do.  Thanks again for listening.

 

 

 

 

Comment by Karen R. on June 3, 2011 at 7:36pm
Greetings Laura, and all others. I must say that I too talk about my son all the time to any one that will listen. I try to express to people that they need not to "protect" me by avoiding conversations about my son. It soothes me because it makes me feel that my son is not forgotten. He is my son and will always be my son, I would NEVER say he WAS my son. I even talk to my son everyday and sometimes I ask him for his opinion. I still send him texts messages. Its strange that I no longer want to look at his possessions but at the same time I refuse to part with them, besides a few things that I gave to my younger son. My children packed them away and hid them from me at my request. You are right, everyone grieves different and some of us grieve the same. Thanks again to all that listen.
Comment by Karen R. on June 3, 2011 at 7:27pm
Greetings Vicki, I am so so sorry to hear of another loss of this magnitude. I loss my 21yr old son whose picture you see I think 18 or 19 months ago, I don't like to count the months because for me, it just increases my anger. Once again I am sorry that I don't have too many encouraging words because my pain has NOT lessoned one tiny bit but I can say, like I have said many times before, to keep writing because it helps to have your feelings and thoughts validated by those who, unfortunately, do understand. We will always be willing to listen. I know that your grand baby could NEVER replace your child but that baby needs your love. I am sure that your daughter will love her baby through you. Sometimes I wish that my son had a child, I try to imagine the comfort that would bring me. I will NEVER be able to accept what has happened to my son because it is unacceptable.
Comment by Laura Villarreal on June 3, 2011 at 9:07am

Hi Vicki....I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my daughter (my only child) in May of 2009 (ATV accident)...she was only 33.  This has been my personal experience as we all grieve differently:  The loss of a child is the most difficult grief there is to contend/live/deal with and honestly it does not get better but changes who we are as it forces us to redefine who we are. Anxiety and panic attacks are quite normal; I have learned how to recognize and deal with them but that doesn't make it any easier. At first, whenever I thought of wanting to hug my daughter just one more time, my arms would physically hurt! I have also found that by sharing her memories with others helps to alleviate some of the heartache I have...I love talking about her to anyone who will listen! Friends, family and yes, even strangers! And in all your pain and heartache you have a grandson...a bright light in all your darkness. Your grief is very new so my one piece of humble advice is to take care of yourself.  Make sure you eat right and rest as needed...grief will take all the life out of you if you let it.  If and when you feel like it I think many of us here would like to know about your daughter...share as much as you want, we make no judgements here.  We have all lost a child(ren) in this group and we all making our way through the grief, each in our own way but together.

Take care,

Laura

Comment by Vicki Giddens on June 3, 2011 at 7:39am

I lost my daughter about a month ago.  She passed away during childbirth.  She left us with a beautiful baby boy.  I am thankful for him but I miss her so much.  I feel as though I will never be happy again.  I am always sad.  Life is not fair.  I want to scream. She never even got a chance to see his beautiful face.  This was her first child.  She wanted him so much.  My family has been very supportive but I just need to talk with someone who truly understands my pain.  I want to hold her so bad.  I have anxiety whenever I go to placed we went a lot.  Does it ever get better.  Thanks for listening.

 

Comment by Bonnie Cassell on June 2, 2011 at 11:10pm
Dee that is a great story. I have now just got past my first year after loosing my son. He was my world and still is just know I got to wait to see him. he was only thirteen when he hung himself playing a game. I have spent the last 7 days in the hospital learning ways to deal with this loss so that I wouldn't take my own life, just to be with him. he was the only great thing that I did awesome at in my life at least that is what I thought. I dont suffer  right now I am pleased to know that he is in heaven and I will see him .
Comment by Dee Davis on May 25, 2011 at 6:41pm
Bonnie, I am Dee and I lost my son Jamie Sept 09Just a few mos after was ordained as a Minister for God. He was born with Cerarbral Palesy.He was not suppose to live past 15 or be able to graduate high school, or work and take of hisself. He not only graduated High school, but 3yrs of Bible college,and became ordained, preached 5 different churches, and made a tape ministry. When he preached I taped him and after he passed I put them on DVD.I plan to write a book on his life,when I get where I can try and remember things without falling apart. He was well known for his wonderful Smile. So now I make crocheted yellow smiley faces in his memory to still spread his smile around.//  What took him was a bottle of cough syrup with codene, that he had a fatel reaction to.He took it that night an woke up with Jesus,when I went in to wake hiim the next morn. I am a single parent of 3 grown children.So I felt as tho my world ended. I had mad him my world, since his dad wanted nothing to do with him, when he found out he was born with CP.But Jamie was loved by everyone who met him. There were over 250 people a his funeral.There were so many things the drs. said he wouldn't be able to do in his life, but I told them that my JESUS wasn't finished with him, and I Never let him give up on hisself. And now I pray for God to not give up on me , because I need all his strengt go get me thro each day now.  we are each others strength too. And I say a prayer for alol of us every nite.God bless you all..  Dee
Comment by Ann Edmondson on May 25, 2011 at 12:20pm

Bonnie - I will be on my computer until 4pm MST today and then again from 6pm until 10pm tonight. Please write and let's talk ~ Ann

 

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Loss of a loved one

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Michelle Hudson replied to Michelle Hudson's discussion Losing friendships in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
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toni m dicarlo commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
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Bonnie Jacobs replied to Michelle Hudson's discussion Losing friendships in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
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toni m dicarlo commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
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Dina Marie Gabriel replied to Michelle Hudson's discussion Losing friendships in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
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Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
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Michelle Hudson replied to Michelle Hudson's discussion Losing friendships in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
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