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I feel like most people dont understand
Even those that have lost people I feel like they dont often understand what its like for me. My dad went to prison when I was 5 and havent seen him since so he is basically dead and lost my mom 5 yrs ago. I have no siblings, no living family. It sucks to lose anyone you care about but when you have someone to share that loss with, someone to lean on its just different than being completely alone in the world. There is no safety net for me. I cant fall because there is no one there to catch me. Things that arent as big of a deal to others are life changing for me. The stress of everything being on my shoulders, the fear is something most people just dont get. The fear is worse than even the loss. I am currently out of work and fear what will happen in the next couple months. I dont have anyone to help me or save me. I have health issues and when I get really sick I have no one to help me. Missing people is so far down on my list. I often think I have never really had the chance to just grieve. I have never had the time to just sit and worry about feelings. I am always so busy just trying to keep myself alive and just barely scraping by and this isnt a life and I wonder why I even bother trying because when I am honest with myself I really no longer care. I do it for my cats I think but soon I wont even be able to care for them. I really feel like life picks on me, like I am cursed. I dont understand how its possible for one person to have so much bad luck. I dont understand why life cant cut me a break. I dont understand why other people seem to be so much more deserving of anything good than I am. I feel like I am deserving but life must disagree. I just wish I felt like I could breathe. I wish I had some security in my life.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Brenda Ann on
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Dear Tanya,
Today is the first time I have seen your name. My heart goes out to you and many hugs as well. You are ever so right that I truly do not know how you feel but I do care. You said, "I wish I had some security in my life". Security in this world is more than elusive it seems impossible to find. There is a place of refuse and protection that many people do not consider. (Psalm 18:1, 2) "I have affection for you, O Jehovah, my strength. Jehovah is my crag and my stronghold and the One who rescues me. My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, My shield and my horn of salvation, my secure refuge." Please go to and read is article:
Look After Orphans and Widows in Their TribulationI hope this brings you some comfort. Lean on God and he will sustain you. (Philippians 4:13) For all things I have the strength through the one who gives me power."
(Isaiah 41:10) "Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you, I will really hold on to you with my right hand of righteousness.’"I care and I will be here to talk anytime but I can't give you strength, only God can. We are not living in normal times and as you pointed out, you are not in a normal situation. But, do not despair...
(2 Corinthians 4:7) . . ."the power beyond what is normal may be God’s and not from us." Lean on God and he will carry you.
Brenda
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