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Comment by SelV on Monday

Towards the end of August, I dreamt about my parents. I had many pleasant dreams about my mother since April. Never dreamt of my father so that was the first. My parents were getting married...either celebrating their 60th or 75th wedding anniversary. It was a very happy occasion. My parents were all decked up and smiling away on the dais. I could clearly see my mother grinning and showing off her pearly whites and all. If my parents were alive till today, they would have celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary in July. I hope my mother or both my parents come in my dreams regularly...well at least I see them alive there...my daylights are a living nightmare!

Comment by Brett Bowman on September 8, 2019 at 8:39pm

Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay your life and ask yourself where your joy lies. Let that little baby keep you going. No one can fill the void of the love you lost better than her.

SelV, I understand and appreciate all of that.

Comment by SelV on September 8, 2019 at 8:27pm

Hi Avi...grief comes in waves. When, how or what triggers it...we don't know. Come 15 Sept, it would be 18 months since my mother left me. When my father left me almost 18 years ago, he took a quarter of my energy level with him. When my mother left, she took half of my energy level with her. What's remaining is just a quarter which I spent crying. I don't feel like getting up in the morning, doing the morning chores, go to work, cook, eat or even do household chores. But because I am still alive, I force myself to do things...just going through the motions. I have estranged myself from my siblings, colleagues and even friends. They will never understand. I don't expect them to either. I have to deal with the guilt, regrets, grief and depression...smiling depression all by myself. I have no interest in living and waiting for the day when my mother calls me. I like what Brett said in one of his posts 'soul sick'. That's what I am too. Your daughter...she is your blessing. Take care!

Comment by Avi on September 8, 2019 at 7:58am

Hi All, 

Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world. 

Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me will not understand. 

Comment by Sue Toler on September 3, 2019 at 2:26pm

You are very welcome & hoping they can tell you something that will help.  

Comment by Brett Bowman on September 3, 2019 at 2:24pm

Thanks, Sue. I will look into this.

Comment by Sue Toler on September 3, 2019 at 1:49pm

Brett, I talked to the girl I work with.  She has used a bark collar on her Chihuahua that helped.  She said it just gives a tone & doesn't hurt them.  She gave me a couple of places for natural products that might have something that would help.  One is Natural Pet Supply at 423-283-7387.  She thought they might have information that would help.  The other is her husband's website:  The Natural Vet (thenaturalvet.net) & the number is 1-877-873-8838.  She said they might be able to give you information that could help.  Thinking of you & your dog.  Hoping one of these can help.  Take care, 

Comment by Sue Toler on August 30, 2019 at 12:52pm

You are so welcome!  I know how I feel about my dog.  I look forward to being with her when I get home from work & she is wonderful company!  Take care, 

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 30, 2019 at 12:07pm

Thank you, Sue.

Comment by Sue Toler on August 30, 2019 at 11:56am

Brett, I will check with her & see.  I probably won't see her until Tuesday, but will check with her then.  Will be thinking of you & your dog.  Take care, Sue 

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