My married lover

For 6 years I secretly shared a wonderful love with a man who was a beautiful soul. His other life found out about me days before he passed. His family has asked that I not attend the service. I called the funeral home to see if they would arrange some sort of private viewing, but was informed that he'd already been cremated. This grief is overwhelming.

Views: 534

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jennie on March 7, 2022 at 10:05am

Cecila,  I'm so sorry for you. Cherish your memories and may you gain closure in time.

Permalink Reply by Cecilia on March 7, 2022 at 10:08am
Thank you
Permalink Reply by Kelly on March 9, 2022 at 4:59pm
It is overwhelming. You will learn to recognize when it’s coming, delay your reaction until it is an appropriate time for you to let those feelings out, sleep and eat normally, and even have some feeling other than sadness again. You learn to love with it and manage it. But it still comes at times when triggered or when tired, and it will never go away. You have to find a time and place to feel those feelings completely. So be kind to yourself. Have few expectations and plans for yourself. And if you find someone or something that makes you feel a little lighter even for a few minutes, be with that person or do that thing as much as possible. I can look at his pictures now and still be able to breathe. That’s some bit of healing. Hold tight.
Permalink Reply by Cecilia on March 9, 2022 at 8:54pm
Thank you, Kelly. I had to put away anything he's ever given me. I can't look at them without crying. I have to force myself to eat & sleep...and sometimes breathe. Emptiness surrounds me. I've always been an intuitive, sensitive, spiritual person, but I can't feel him. And it's the little things I miss (the touch of his hand, his smile, the way he looked at me) that hits me like a ton of bricks when I'm making my bed, getting dressed, driving, or even picking something up from the store. I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe that that chapter in my life is over. My heart is broken.
Permalink Reply by Kelly on March 10, 2022 at 7:06am
You poor thing. I remember it well and still feel it often. It’s a tidal wave. I see mine coming at me now when it comes. But it is no longer constant. There is nothing anyone can say or do to ease your pain. But we can listen and sit in it with you.

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B posted a blog post

i miss the family its no longer here

i miss the family so much its no longer here mom dad uncle sister  aunites pets frineds its like family i miss them all im woried im going to have no body soon i am iv being on this forum since 2012 dont get on much thease days i dont iv saed a lot of goodbyes from people from my church im a spirtalest  but its still hard saying goodbye See More
Sunday
0 Comments
Joshua Gordon is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 1
Welcome Them!
Marco is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jun 23
Welcome Them!
Walter Craig posted a discussion

...both parents

I lost my mama to cancer after her 10 month battle with Vulvar Cancer and I had to witness some very horrific days. She suffered so much and I tried to be there with her as much as I could but she did not survive this monster and passed away.my dad was also battening lung disease and he passed away 7 weeks later. I am 32 and no siblings and no family of my own.some days I feel lost and I don't know if I can carry on...See More
Jun 11
0 Comments
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

The Wheels on (My Grief) Bus Go Round and Round...

New Year - 2025!At the start of the year I returned to Thailand for another medical mission.  This was my fourth trip for this and I was somewhat ready/prepared for the heightened emotions.  Not sure why...no real connection to Jen or her accident, but in the past these trips offer some extended alone time, away from others, away from people that speak the same language and as such seem to bring the thoughts back to the forefront.  Strangely, the same levels of emotionality were not there.  Not…See More
May 30
0 Comments
Speed Weasel commented on Dottie's status
"Dottie, do you find the anniversary dates to still be as emotionally difficult as the first couple times?  I find that some years, it is very fresh and raw, others almost (almost) slip by without fanfare."
May 30
Speed Weasel replied to Mabel Murphy's discussion My husband passed away
"So sorry for you with his passing. That is rough, that there has been so much time between the initial diagnosis and the final moments.  On top of the 'normal' grief, you may also start to feel relief, which is likely to add to the…"
May 30
LP is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
May 28
Welcome Them!

© 2025   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service