Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by CC on December 23, 2021 at 12:37pm

I am so sorry for your loss...this is the most complicated awful loss..sending you a hug of understanding

Permalink Reply by Kelly on December 23, 2021 at 11:14pm

I found out when Russell did not message me for 18 hours. I convinced myself that he had broken his phone. But then I did a quick search. All good until I hit the “News” button. Three articles popped up about the accident. It took me the third one to realize it said “The victim was identified as Russell ….”. I couldn’t comprehend it at first.

Your words “He loved me best”. I get that feeling. Sorry. It is a huge added burden to be alone and unknown.

Permalink Reply by Lisa N on December 24, 2021 at 8:00am

Thank you for sharing your story, Kelly. I'm very sorry for your loss. To find out they are gone in the manner we did is devastating. Such a shock.

Permalink Reply by Lizzie on January 10, 2022 at 3:29pm

Hi lisa.  I am so very sorry for your loss.  I totally understand. I lost my one and only true love in June 20 20. We met in 1989 and just never had the right timing he was either married or I was married we could never figure it out but we always kept in touch and then the last four years before he passed away were the most wonderful years of my life we had finally gotten together but again it was complicated we were both married we both had families but we both thought that would be really each other more than ever. Unfortunately in the beginning of his dying process he lost his short term memory and that is really what I lost the man that I knew in love he was no longer the same.  I spent 14 months grieving the man I knew and loved calling him every day and then he passed away on my life will never be the same again. He brought so many blessings to my life and I try to remember those every day. Just as you said he loved me best.  The grief is similar to our love story I mean it was one of those things where I just wander stand on a mountain and scream how much I loved him and how wonderful he was and now it’s like I just want to scream I’m dying here people somebody help me I’m empty I’m frozen  I’m just dying inside and really have no one to talk to you except two friends that I made here in the group which has been the best thing for me. Please feel free to reach out at any time. My heart aches for you

Permalink Reply by Lisa N on January 10, 2022 at 5:06pm

I'm so sorry for your loss, Lizzie.  Trust me that you're not on that mountain top alone. I'm right there next to you.  Yesterday there was a virtual memorial service for Bob on Zoom.  I only gave my initials.  I listened for 2 hours of people talking about all the great things about him, listened to his wife (his 2nd one) and never once saw her shed a tear, listened to his first wise who sobbed the whole time, and all of his friends.  All I could do was sit there muted, listen and cry.  I wanted to share my memories, too, but it wasn't to be.  He was "not mine" to grieve.  But I was able to go away feeling warmed by the kind things and funny stories so many of his friends told.  I think it was good to do and will be the start of having to move on.  He's gone, he's not coming back, we will never be together, we will never be.  I'm going to miss him every day.  My heart goes out to you, too, and like you said above, you are also welcome to contact me any time you need.