What do people do on the anniversary of the loss of a loved one

In three days time it will be the anniversary of steve's death, I want to do something special to remember him but not sure what to do, Any suggestions would be greatly recieved, How have you dealt with anniverseries? Lots of love. Babs

Views: 10615

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Babs -

My husband was cremated, so on special days, and even on not so special days, I spread some of his ashes.  for example, on his birthday, I went up a trail we used to hike on, and left some of his ashes there.  If your loved one was buried, going to the gravesite and planting something, like flowers if you're allowed to (it seems nowadays they don't want people doing that...) but some kind of ritual you create may help.  Maybe if you have a shrine or an alter, burning a candle or something like that.  If you're religious and have a church or synagog, going and saying a special prayer... create something that has meaning for you, that also would have meant something to your loved one.  Did he have a favorite color, or a favorite saying or poem you can read to him?  Placing stones on the grave is also a ritual; planting a rose bush in your yard in his honor... when you decide what to do, please let us know!  

My Grandma died in December 2010 so her anniversary is still a few months away, but for her birthday the family met at the grave site and we blew up balloons and wrote something special on them and let them go.  One of our plans for her 1st year anniversary is to put a picture of her along with a poem in the local newspaper.

 

Hope it helps

Around last Christmas I drew this in memory of my Dad, since I live too far away to visit his gravesite: click here

 

I tend to get really depressed on and around his birthday and death anniversary (which are approximately a week away from each other - the whole month of March is pretty bad for me). However, since I can't call him I try to get in contact with my closer family members - so you can do that if you have anyone close you feel comfortable calling. Everyone else had great suggestions, though. Just some sort of tradition or ritual you can feel good about doing in honor of your loved one. I have found it hard to do, but it does feel good to celebrate their life.

 

Good luck, Babs.

My friend Tyler died August 4, 2009 to the "choking game." This year on his angel day we sent off balloons with choking game awareness letters. Last year, his mother and sister, my sisters, my mother, and I were at the beach on his angel day, so we did a "message in a bottle" thing. We also walked up and down the boardwalk and told people about the choking game.

If Steve's death was caused by something that could eventually be stopped, maybe you could do something special to raise awareness.

God bless.

Thank you so much for your replies, anniverseries are such difficult times, Nothing quite seems to do him or the day justice. One thing that is very hard is that I have no one to share it with as I know nobody who knew him, I do write poetry so can maybe read him some, I am sure he would love to hear them, he always encouraged my creativity. He died of a stroke caused by high blood pressure at 42 years old. He was a volunteer for the samaritans (a charity operating a 24/7 phone line for people in severe distress) in case you don't have them in the US. At christmas I asked for donations to the samaritans instead of cards which I think I will do every year, May go down to the samaritans office and see if I can donate a plant to them or something in his honour. Am also going to order a red rose bush called "thinking of you" to plant in my garden and make hearts out of the petals next year. Steve's birthday is also just a couple of weeks apart from the anniversary of his death. Thank you all once again for writing it helped me to think. Lots of love. Babs
Today marks 3mos anniversary of my grandma's death. I went to the coffee house and had a mocha in her honor. I am not sure what I will do as time goes on but for now that helped me. I also went to the local grave yard because my Grandma is buried in CA and I am in TN so I decided to go to my father in laws grave and say a prayer while standing near his grave. Told my father in law that I was doing that because grandma is out of state. I said a nice prayer to grandma and told her how much I miss her and that I love her very much and that life has been so hard for me since she left. I cried and just let it out.

I don't intend to challenge anyone's personal belief system, but Adriene, I believe that even tho your grandma's body is buried in another state, her spirit or soul is still with you; I believe that she knows when you need her and she is there for you, so talk to her. Maybe it would help to put up a picture of her and make a little alter, or shrine, in your home; light a candle, or put a fresh flower in a vase for her.  Something of that nature.  

Just my thoughts.

 

Cynthia, I already have many pictures on the wall in my home and have a grandma memorial. I just needed to go to a grave and my father in law is buried here. so I thought it was a creative idea and it helped me a lot. sorry if it offended you. but it really helped me doing what I did.

I'm sorry; I wasn't at all offended!  I hope I didn't offend you!  I think that we each need to do whatever works best for you.  Going to your father in laws gravesite was a very good, creative way to take care what you needed!  Please forgive my not being very clear!

 

RSS

Latest Activity

Alice Thompson left a comment for nat
"Dear Nat, I’m so very sorry you had to lose your beloved husband. I wish you strength and comfort as you make your way through these early days and nights. There are many kind souls on this site who know about deep pain, and I recommend…"
21 minutes ago
Profile IconKar-Kate Leung, nat, Ambreen and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
2 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, my thoughts and prayers are with you. My brother called me the other day and he said are you ok? There is a twenty year age difference between us, so we are not that close and he lives five hours away. I said to him, yes I though you would…"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Another bad day. I was shopping for Christmas cards and gift bags when without warning, I broke down in tears at the register. Thank goodness the cashier was a sensitive caring person and did not just blow me off. She said "Your Mom will always…"
6 hours ago
Stephanie Coyle joined Courtney Adams's group
Thumbnail

Suicide....Hard Knowing They did it By Their Choice

This is for some of us who have lost someone due to suicide...I miss you Annie!!!See More
15 hours ago
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Linda and Morgan. It just hurts so much for all of us."
yesterday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"((((((morgan))))))"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Paul, Each of us have memories of a time and day of the death of our beloved.  Mine just happened to come at a time of the year when normally the excesses of celebrating kick into high gear.  Not better not worse than anyone else's…"
yesterday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"My friend just lost her husband before Thanksgiving.   I'm trying to reach out to her, because I know how she feels, but she does not seem to want to respond.  She's keeping very busy!  I feel bad for her, but I guess…"
yesterday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Linda for posting that.   "
yesterday
Peggy left a comment for Dawn W
"Hi Dawn, I saw your posts and wanted to introduce myself.  I'm also in Canada, in Ontario.  I lost my husband suddenly in 2015.  He had cancer but had been given 3 to 5 years and was gone in 8 weeks.  If you'd like to…"
yesterday
kim posted a status
"my beautiful son, its x mas again, ill be with you soon I promise, I love you forever mom"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Alice, I am so sorry, I know you holidays will never be the same again, we just make the best of it. "
yesterday
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I feel the same. My love had a comprehensive stroke on 22 December, and died in hospital at 10pm on New Years Eve. Then I went “home” in a taxi amid fireworks."
Thursday
Profile IconAnn Appa, Alison Eley, Hannah and 3 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Paul, I feel exactly like you do, I wish I could sleep the holidays away, I find no joy in them, it's just another day I am being tortured."
Thursday
Paul commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, As hard as it is for the rest of us to endure the upcoming holidays it must be at least doubly difficult for you given the circumstances your husband and you were dealt with.  To everyone here who has put up with this hell for multiple…"
Thursday
Maxey is now friends with Cheyenne Steffen and Pamela philipp
Thursday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Paul,  In particular this time of the year everyone who hasn't lost their love is celebrating.  I used to be one of them. Then one day a long time ago, I took my sick husband to the hospital Xmas Eve day and found out the day after…"
Thursday
Paul commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Count me among those who are looking forward to death after losing my wife. I am absolutely not interested in anything else."
Thursday

© 2017   Created by Jarvis.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service