MY WIFE PASS AWAY AUG 11 2017 TO BRAIN CANCER 2 MONTHS AFTER THEY TOLD HER SHE HAD BRAIN WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 22 YEARS AND WE STARTED REALLY GETTING ALONE GREAT THE PAST 5 YEARS WE HAD STRUGGLES IN THE PAST. I BEEN UNFAITHFUL IN THE MARRIAGE THAT SHE DID NOT EVER KNOW I SAID THING I WISH I NEVER SAID AND I ALWAYS HATED MYSELF FOR THOSE THINGS I HATE MYSELF EVEN MORE NOW BECAUSE I JUST WANT HER TO IM SORRY SO MUCH THAT SHE WAS THE GREATEST PERSON I EVER KNOWN THAT I ALL WANT IS FOR HER KNOW HOW GREAT SHE WAS FOR ME UP UNTIL HER LAST 2 WEEKS DOCTOR SAID SHE WAS GOING TO BE OK THEN SHE GOT WORSE THEY GAVE HER A WEEK TO A MONTH TO LIVE SHE LIVED 2 WEEKS I BROUGHT HER HOME UNDER THE HELP OF HOSPICE AND I PRAYING SO HARD FOR GOD TO SAVE HER. SHE WAS A GREAT MOTHER WE HAVE A AUTISM SON THAT SHE WAS SO GOOD WITH AND HE ONLY NINETEEN WHICH SHE WAS HIS BEST FRIEND TO.I WANTED GOD TO TAKE ME NOT HER BECAUSE SHE DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE TAKE ME I STILL CANT GET NO MOTIVATION TO DO ANYTHING I NIGHT SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO BUT I KEEP TELLING MYSELF I GOT FINISH WHAT SHE STARTED WITH MY SON AND HELP MAKE SURE HE GOING TO BE OKAY BUT I JUST WANT TO HAVE A LITTLE PIECE AND FOR HER TO KNOW HOW TRULY SORRY I  AM AND IF SHE WAS STILL HERE I WOULD CHERISH EVERY MINUTE BECAUSE I KNOW KNOW THAT IT MAY NOT BE FOREVER I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER FOREVER

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Dear Bobby:

I really do feel the agony and suffering you’re going through.
I lost my wife December 2nd. We were childless. We had only each other.
I live alone. No friends not even a goldfish.
Despite your tradegy, you still have a son who so desperately needs you.
When we lose a beloved we wonder what anchors us still to this world? What’s left?
Well your son
You’re going to mourn and grieve for a while. But let no one tell you to “get over it.” We each grieve differently.
The hardest road is yet to come. The loneliness, the guilt at what you did or didn’t do. My god, you’ll feel so by yourself you’ll think you’re going mad.
But hold on. Hold on tight my friend. You have an anchor.
Your son. You’ve gotta hold on for him. Even as you grieve.
I was discharged from the hospital 3 days after my wife died. I was forced to go into the psych ward because they thought I’d hurt myself. Days later, discharged, it was midnight. No one would
take me home. It was late. Raining in an empty parking lot. I was poor ( still am) and facing eviction. No job. No family to help. I tell you, never had I felt I wanted to die to end my 15/7 agony of physical and mental pain. I made it home that night walked in to my apartment. I stared at the floor where my wife Annette’s body laid. Now an empty space. I’m still alone, with I’ll health and my medical insurance won’t cover a penny of it.

But you have a son. Care for him. Give yourself some forgiveness. None of us are perfect. That’s a myth.

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