I woke up this morning at like 3am...and stayed up till my fiancee went to work at 4:30. After he left I started getting chest pains..not on the left or the right, but right in the center. Ever since my father died (of a heart attack) I've been worried my time is not far behind. I guess it made me think alot of my own mortality (and everyone elses around me as well). I keep thinking all day today "maybe today is the day I die - god I hope not while its just me and my 4 year old" "Who will take care of my dogs" "I dont want my fiancee to find me when he comes home" All these stupid thoughts are running thru my head. I can't stop thinking of this pain in terms of me dying, when its probably nothing. WTF is wrong with me?  Now its 1pm, the pain is subsiding but still there enough to make me go look up heart attack symptoms. I coulda swore earlier that when I sat down after doing dishes, my left foot went numb and then there was a tingly sensation. I think I'm imagining alot of crap cuz I'm worried its a heart attack. I've never been afraid to die, but I guess thats cuz I never thought I would or something? I guess I never really THOUGHT about it. Today is a stupid day.

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Hi Becky, 

I think we may all have done this at one time or another, identified with someone's pain or fixated on things like this. On the other hand, it would not hurt to get a checkup you know and talk about your concerns with a dr. I know I had this place on my leg once and was sure it was skin cancer it was well a very common thing people get that is not in the least bad. But I did fixate on it for a while before I went to the dr about it. 

Yeah, when someone close dies or even when a famous person dies it certainly does make us realize how fragile life can be. And often times we do ponder about our own limited time here on earth.  I can relate to that totally. 

Death is well a normal thing to think about.I know most people don't but one does as they get older. It does make you get real about life (maybe depends on the person) and realize that this is not all there is.... or maybe some people think this is all there is but I don't. I just kind of rambled here but anyway.....  mfrancis

iv had 1 of them days today i thnk i shud of stopet on bed all day it mite hav bean beter for me i missit 3 bus but the 3rd bus woz my own falt i woz day dreaming in 1 off those stareing in to spase i relized that the 3rd bus went past went to the shop fogot wot i went in for i woz giving a cat treat sum tuna sum of that landrd on the tabel just as well i havent got kids 

This isn't a stupid day. A stupid day is thinking you - and those you love - will always be there. (In other words, a 'normal' day.) We don't last forever. In time, the physical symptoms will probably pass (getting a check-up by a doc isn't a bad idea if you keep putting it off), but you've been confronted by a fact of life - we just don't last forever.

Give yourself a break. You're normal. Sometimes we just get hit with the fact that we are 'dust in the wind' and we need to deal with it. A loss does that to us. And every one of us, prepared as we might be, will leave behind something that needs attention - dogs, a house, or whatever. Someone will be hurt by the loss - if we're lucky. And the survivors go on.

As a survivor, I'm familiar with crazy thoughts. I am their queen. Imagination and reality blend - in part because we don't see the whole picture while we're here. I've dealt with death from the time I was in first grade until now - at 55 - and I still get hit on my 'blind side' by it. 

All that, I suppose, to say that I hope you give yourself a break. As far as I can see, you're normal.

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