My Brain...by Cindy

 

I see your smile and your beautiful eyes

in my wakeing hours and dreams

I hear your voice and your strong advice

but it's muddled by some kind of fog

I think for brief seconds, that I know what you'd do

then I'm lost and full of doubt

My brain is stuck on what I should have done

and my eyes cannot see it is today

My heart races as if trying to escape

and then it forgets to beat

I cry so hard that I'm grasping for breath

and I cannot remember to breathe

I scream out your name and wait for an answer

I cannot even hear my own thoughts

I am awake at weird hours all night

I pray for a dark, peaceful sleep.

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Hi cindy, thanks i am still writing, Things are a little more stable for me now but is still a real struggle to grieve. The other day i was feeling so sad that i was never able to say my wedding vows to the man i loved that i wrote this poem, my pledge of love to him based on th etraditional wedding vows. it is called "though we never can marry"

I never got the chance to say these words to you
And the days that we were together were far to few
Though we never can marry these vows are for you
They are pledged from my heart and all of them are true

I Babs take you Steve this day to be my husband
Please be with me each day, walk with me hand in hand
I give to you myself, to have and to hold
I know you'll take good care, treating me like gold

From this day forward, for better and for worse
Each day I'll think of you and read out this verse
For richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health
Knowing you in my life, has given me such wealth

To love and to cherish, from this day forward
Yes i mean every part of each and every word
Lets take the next bit out, until death do us part
|As death cannot seperate whats written on our hearts

Keep writing my friend, it really does help. big hugs. Babs


 

My brother passed away 10 years ago when he was 4; I was 7.  I write about him all the time....  My college essay was about his sickness, death, and how it affected me years later.  I'm 18 now and it has gotten easier to cope.  Writting is a blessing because it is an expression of what is inside ones mind and heart!  Although I have to say, that writting that college essay is the reason I sought this site.  It brought up a lot of questions and a lot less answers.  Being so young when my brothers death happened, I don't rememeber a lot about him, I didn't really understand what death was, and I stopped talking about it.  I write about it but recently I've found the need to talk about him.  I hope to actually post some poems and stuff on here...

 

I love your writting!  It's amazing!

I write a lot to help me thru the process even though with my father - it'll of been 5 yrs on the 4th of this month. I wrote a poem to announce his death to friends and distant families because I couldn't bring myself to say "he's dead, gone". Since then I have found that writing essay type things on the grieving process has helped me through my own process. (will have to find it later in my memory book)  But if anyone wants to read the essays I would be happy to share them. Just don't want to bore anyone

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