Another October has come, and gone. I prepared for the worst. I was ready to fall down, but instead I only wobbled a little. Is that a sign? Am I healing? Some days I have to wonder if I'm setting myself up for the big one. Oh well. I guess I'll take it as it comes. I feel different this year. I feel less fearful. I feel less depressed. I almost feel like part of the old me has come back. Is my heart getting hard or is it finally ready to accept the things that I cant change? In 2 weeks it…

I've been working at the daycare for a couple of months now. I was wondering when it would hit me. I prayed it wouldn't, but it did. I have a little girl at the daycare that I just adore, and she adores me. I love them all, but this little girl is special to me. When I look in her eyes, I see my Lil Del. They are the same color, with the same sparkle. She calls me nanny! She's just a year old so she doesn't say to many words, but she can say nanny! All the other kids call me Anne, but this…

Iam starting to come back here as scatter brained as Iam, I was gone for a while. Iam a widower truth be told. Its a long story ,your thinking long story about being a widower.? Ill try to explain it in another blog Iam working on.we went for 35r yrs she ran the show.We loved each but not in a hugging kissing way. What does that have to with it.?

 I carried on a desentsized sort of duties  as a husband , Iam  thinking now I was emotionally ill equiped to handle a realationship much…

Well here I am again. Hahaha! I sure had a rough couple of weeks there! But here I am. Truth is I don't want to be without you! I have decided that I need to be here, and I think you need me too, so here I am. I'd apologize for my madness, but I did learn a lot about me, and about others, and this stinky process of grief. However I am a bit ashamed of behaving like a child. You know it doesn't matter how long time has passed. When you lose someone you have loved, you always go in, and out of…

its been3 yrs since my mom passed away and for some reason my relationship with myhusband has gone down hill. it feels like im walking in my mothers foot steps because now im going threw almost the exact thing that endedup killing her. now im the one in an abusive relationship the only difference is that im trying for dear like to get away from. and im scared i wont be able to in time before the same thing happenes to me  

I QUIT. I'm done. I thought I could help, but I feel like what I say or write is wrong or hurtful. Today I hurt. I hurt as bad as I did the day I held my sweet little boy in a body bag all burned up. I also feel like I have hurt the ones I just wanted to help, and maybe give a little hope. When I  write it's not that everyday I feel good, and happy. I wish I had someone to shed a little hope for me so I thought I should give some hope to others.  What I didn't realize is not everyone is…

why do we loze so mny pele a,l t g

why dose god tk away evry 1away we luv?

why dose evry 1 hav bad luckk ?

why dose bad thngs hapen ?

why cnt thy find cure for big c ?  

why dose bad peple get away wit out sufring ?

why why why why why why 

why dose kids after 2 die or sufer coz thy hav dun nothng wong ?…

Once again October is here, and so am I. I have decided to just blog for a while. I feel like I am hurting peoples feelings by posting where I am in this process, and I would never want to hurt anyone. I just thought I could give a little hope to all who are hurting. When I was first going through this journey, I wished I had one person who would talk to me, and tell me that there is hope, and the light will shine again. I wanted to hear these words from someone who had walked in my shoes. I…

After trying to battle cancer for 6 years, my mum unfortunately passed away in march of this year. I miss my mum so much it is unbearable. I feel so lost and alone.

I'm an only child and my dad and i are very close but we can't talk about our feelings. We can't talk to each other about the pain or the loss that we feel. I'm not very good at talking about my feeling to anyone really, not even my friends. No one really seems to understand what i am feeling and everytime i try to reach…