Mailynne, I read your comment about your losses. I am so sorry. Nothing prepares us for these tragedies. I knew my mom and dad were heading toward the end, but my life was turned upside down in April 2008. Some things happened in our life, I couldn't cope. We had to make some hard decisions. I was taking care of my 87 year old dad with cancer and alzheimers (after caring for my mom who had alzheimers and died 11/30/2006). I started having physical problems, which I believe were probably brought on my all the extra stress from caregiving from 1998 to that time. I needed help not only in the caregiving but just emotional support for me. I decided to move near my daughter and her family. If I hadn't, I don't know if I would have made it. In moving, though, I left my home, church, pastor, job, friends and some family. It was an awlful transition time. When I lost my dad, it was hard, but at least I wasn't alone. He died 2/3/2010. It's hard to believe it will soon be 2 years. About 6 months after he died, a friend's mother died. I was there to support her when it happened. To put it lightly, it devastated me. I realized then that I had never grieved my mom's passing because I had to be strong for my dad. I didn't know if I could go on. I felt like an adult orphan which was nuts, but nonetheless the feelings were very real. Then, in March this year, my best friend's husband walked into her house and dropped dead on the floor. It scared the life out of me, because I do have physical limitations and I started to dwell on what if something like that happened to me. What would I do? Where would I go? I was in bad shape. I am just now starting to pull out of it, but I can't say that tomorrow I won't feel it again. I'm trying desperately to trust the Lord with all these fears and lean on Him. I don't feel like people understand (even my own kids) what I feel. My son-in-law is my pastor and I don't even talk to him about my feelings. God is good though, because He will speak to me in many ways especially music. I listen to gospel music and it soothes my troubled mind and spirit. I'm not preaching, so please don't feel that way. It's just what helps for me. I am glad to be our friend. Please feel free to contact me anytime.
"Margie, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your mother - I listened to you speak at this past Zoom meeting and felt my heart hurt at the pain in your voice. I truly hope that you will continue to join the meeting on Monday and pray they will…"
I lost my brother in November 2020. Our family has been devastated ever since. Everyday is a new struggle. I want to support my family but I am myself having a tough time coping with thingsSometimes I get tied up in looking after myself vs looking after them . It's important to do bothBut i dont know how to manage for nowSee More