Drewtoo
  • Female
  • Stamford
  • United States
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Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I can understand how that makes it even more difficult, having become a couple on that occasion. I don't want to live without him, and I just don't feel that will ever change. So, it all seems so futile to go through this every day. "
Jan 7
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I'm so sorry, bluebird...this will be my first full year without mine and I am not looking forward to it either. I can only imagine how it must feel after several years."
Jan 7
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I hold back from seeking death, as well...I still need to set an example for some people in my life. I also feel that maybe taking your own life might somehow then inhibit being able to connect with him, like maybe be in a different…"
Nov 17, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hi Jeff, good to hear from you and thank you for the kind insights.  I was just now reading about lucid dreaming to tap into past lives...a woman told me recently that he and I were together in a past life. That would make a lot of sense…"
Nov 16, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you, Bluebird...I am glad you are here"
Nov 16, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I am sorry for your loss and the anniversary. That is really poignant about the world today and whether he left...it is so discouraging, and just one more reason not to want to be here. My sweet man made me incredibly happy and gave me so many…"
Nov 16, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thanks. Definitely not who I was, just don't know if there is (or will be) another me. I don't really know if I want to find out. Remind me, please...how long has it been for you?"
Nov 16, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"To be honest, not great. This is not getting any better/easier. I still wake up every morning in disbelief, cry every day and still do not want to live without him. I am immersing myself in things, looking for some purpose and/or reason to hang on.…"
Nov 16, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hello Luna, Bluebird, JeffC...been thinking about all of you and wanted to check in. How are you doing?"
Nov 16, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I'd like to think that we will be together again. I think I have always believed that...it's just SO EXREMELY VITAL this time. It just has to be so. I do believe that the soul does not die, and energy does not dissipate. I have had real…"
Oct 12, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"When I think of potentially twenty to thirty more years like this...years without him...I get sick to my stomach"
Oct 9, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"And also, I think 'the only person who knows how incredible our relationship was is HIM' so, he would understand how I feel better than anybody else. If it were he who was left here, he would feel the same way I do. He said to me a couple…"
Oct 7, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Please, do talk to me. And let me know about you and how you are feeling...it is important to me and I really do care"
Oct 6, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"hugs to you, too :)"
Oct 6, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I'll never delete that picture...it is so very beautiful. It was from my Neice's wedding in June. My sister said, "you have to see this picture, the way he is looking at you". That is part of what makes it sad...he is adoring me…"
Oct 6, 2022
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I am not taking it...I have been fighting sleep. Not good, I know, but I hate waking to this reality time and time again. I don't feel like I want or can do anything like I am 'supposed' to...brush my teeth and go to bed routinely,…"
Oct 6, 2022

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About my Loss:
Lost the love of my life, my best friend suddenly a little over a month ago. I died that day as well.

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Ess posted a blog post

Struggling

   This is my first post....i just was accepted here...and there are tears in my eyes as i write this.  Im struggling and just gonna ramble here...as writing is cathartic to me.  March is NOT a good month, March n September.  Lost mother, father n only sibling in March.....and they were all born within of each other  in September....all  Virgos.  I often wonder why i am still here...Then i think about it.....i have one daughter and we lost her dad, my hubs of 42 yrs in 2017...she was 25…See More
Mar 19
Ess is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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