Joe von Anjou
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Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Some days, I feel I can make it through this. Some days, I can fight the kick in the stomach I feel when I wake up and remember my mother is dead."
Tuesday
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Spoke with my doctor. Social worker, than psychiatrist, then, possibly, psychotherapist, being arranged."
Tuesday
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Sometimes, it hurts less. Sometimes... But waking up is always the worst."
Saturday
Joe von Anjou commented on Patty Szafarski's blog post When does the fear and anxiety go away?
"Patty, my heart goes out to you. That is an additional horror you did not need. I believe in God as well. My brother and mother sent me little signs from Heaven after they left this world. My mother has been helping me in small and big ways since…"
Jul 30
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"I talked to a grief hotline on the telephone the other day. Nice person on the other end, just listened to what I had to say. But I wonder if I did the right thing. Professional and volunteer carers are at high risk for something called…"
Jul 30
Joe von Anjou commented on Patty Szafarski's blog post When does the fear and anxiety go away?
"I have had some recent experiences with fear and anxiety. These are melded with my grief. Every little thin g that goes off track, every time I forget a repetition or a set while exercising, I am overwhelmed with panic and fear. I think it is due…"
Jul 30
Joe von Anjou replied to Alma P's discussion When is it too long? in the group Grief Counseling
"Thank you, Alma. I appreciate it."
Jul 29
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Every time I wake up, either from sleep or from having dozed off, I realise she is gone, It is like a kick to the stomach. Called a local grief hotline today. Sometimes I am worried what effect what I have to say will have on them. Vicarious…"
Jul 29
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Plus, every time I watch the video of the funeral, I feel crushed again anew."
Jul 27
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"My mother died during the shutdown, so I knew a lot of people would not be able to attend her funeral. I arranged to have the funeral videotaped in an Internet-shareable format for that reason. Now, a lot of those who could not attend who I sent…"
Jul 27
Joe von Anjou replied to Lucinda's discussion New to the Community in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Lucinda, I lost my mother fourteen weeks ago this past Friday, and I only buried her on July 17th because of the pandemic. It still hurts. My mother died from vascular dementia, it was a battle that took the last five years of her life. When I…"
Jul 27
Joe von Anjou replied to Diana, Certified Grief Counselor's discussion Coronavirus, COVID-19, Let's Talk
"Hi Diana! My mother died in a care home last April from vascular dementia. I was not able to see her in her last month and change of life because the pandemic shut the care home to visitors. I was in phone contact with the staff daily. After my…"
Jul 25
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Sometimes music helps. When my brother was killed, the music that appealed to me the most was the last lines of Black Sabbath's "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath," covered by Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden. "Where can you run…"
Jul 25
Joe von Anjou replied to Shayla's discussion Loss of a mom & Unhappily Married
"Hi Shayla, I am not married at all, but I lost my Mother in April to a five-year battle with vascular dementia. I do not know anything about being married, much less unhappily married. However, I can tell you that my mom's lost hurts more now…"
Jul 25
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"I got the call from the care home my mother was in around 9.30 at night. The nurse said "There is no easy way to tell you this. Your mother is deceased." I let out a cry. The nurse calmed me down. The nurse was gentle. But she told me…"
Jul 23
Joe von Anjou replied to Alma P's discussion When is it too long? in the group Grief Counseling
"My heart goes out to you. My brother was killed in a car accident twenty-five years ago. It took my twenty-five years, but I found a way to live with it. I still see my brother in my sleep. My mother died last April after a horrific five year…"
Jul 23

Profile Information

About Me:
Was a caregiver to my mother who had vascular dementia
About my Loss:
My mother died from vascular dementia in April 2020. Today (July 2020), it hurts worse than it did in April

Joe von Anjou's Blog

I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then

My mother died in April after a years-long battle with vascular dementia. I buried her last Friday.

It hurts worse now than then.

I knew my mother was going to die. When she was first diagnosed two years and change ago, I looked up the medical literature. It said that life expectancy was six to nine years post-diagnosis.…

Continue

Posted on July 21, 2020 at 4:33pm — 10 Comments

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Latest Activity

bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Yes, it is much harder for me to concentrate or focus now.  Grief, sadness, anger, despair -- they have all conspired to make it difficult for me to access my intelligence to the same degree as before my husband died.  That is, my…"
44 minutes ago
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, I am glad that you took that the right way.  I had a feeling you would know what I meant.  And your description is correct:  I have a general idea of how you feel but it's impossible for me or anyone else to know…"
2 hours ago
Luna Nightshade replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I guess I can emphasize with the things you loved to do dying with the one you loved - as if that feeling has been pulled along, stretched thin to behind the veil. You don't have the energy to pursue them anymore, and just having something that…"
6 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Please don't apologize; I'm sorry I didn't respond to your last post in April, I'm not very good about keeping up with things anymore.  I don't feel that I'm moving forward at all, but I can see how that would work…"
12 hours ago
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"You're welcome, Bluebird.  I didn't agree with everything she said.  The key for me was the "moving forward with" part.  The "move on" expression is very grating to me.  When I am in a nice place I…"
12 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Luna, You don't sound insane to me; you are SO lucky that you feel your love with you. I do not. I did a few times, in the month or so right after he died, but not since. I worry that this may be because he doesn't exist, because there is…"
14 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thanks for the ink to that Ted Talk, Jeff.  I just watched it, and I can identify with some of what the speaker said, but not all of it. It's good that her phrase about moving forward with her husband, not moving on without him,…"
14 hours ago
bluebird and Leohija are now friends
15 hours ago

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