Jenni H
  • Female
  • Shelbiana, KY
  • United States
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About Me:
I am a 40 something woman who loves Jesus and is an avid gamer. I've been divorced for 7 years now. No kids.
About my Loss:
My mother suffered a stroke in October 2015. It debilitated her to the point of paralysis with aphasia. She lived for a year and a half. I was a caregiver, along with my father. It was a long, arduous time for my family. My brother would not help us as he lived in another state. I had to watch my mother lose her personality, maturity, and her overall spirit. She cried out all hours of the day and night. She was in constant pain. She could talk and was lucid most of the time. She didn't have memory issues, but was confused about the time of day and couldn't form complete sentences due to the aphasia. I had to watch her be mean to others and say things she would have never said had she had her mind in tact. It was truly hell on earth for me. I never went anywhere and never had any respite time, I gave it all to my father. My mother was my soul mate, my best friend. She was always the bale me out of my problems type of person. I mourned her loss after the stroke and I mourned her after her death. I knew two people.. the mom who was and the mom who used to be. I'm mentally broken now. She normally was there to help me with the pieces, but now she is gone. It is hell on earth yet again. I now caregive for my father. He is alright health wise, but he is dealing with his grief too.

Jenni H's Blog

Light at the end of the tunnel possibly.

I've been praying nightly to God. I remember when Mommy was sick, when she was in the bed. Mommy always said she was mad at God for her condition. I told her outright, "Mommy God didn't shove the cigarettes down your throat, you did that all on your own. It is your own fault you are in that bed right now." No matter how bad Mommy got, I never once blamed the Lord. I couldn't. It was like the same reasons I was overweight and morbidly obese as a young adult. I was the one who loved food. I…

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Posted on March 1, 2018 at 4:38pm — 1 Comment

Totally tired of my life and lack of emotions.

My mother had a stroke in October of 2015. She changed over night due to the aphasia and brain damage. She was a new person, half of who she once was. I began grieving my mother in October. I turned of all emotion and detached myself during the caregiving. It was just way too hard for me to deal with her conditions and my father's emotions. My family are gifted with abilities, mine was empathy and third sight. Most may not believe in that stuff, but it is more than real to me due to years of…

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Posted on February 17, 2018 at 5:40pm

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Latest Activity

Vd updated their profile
17 hours ago
dream moon JO B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"miss mom mom so mush i do so num i am"
Tuesday
Michelle is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
May 7
Rosie updated their profile
May 6
Joe H. left a comment for Margie
"Margie, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your mother - I listened to you speak at this past Zoom meeting and felt my heart hurt at the pain in your voice.  I truly hope that you will continue to join the meeting on Monday and pray they will…"
May 6
Devanshi added a discussion to the group Too Young To Die
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Losing my 15 year old brother

I lost my brother in November 2020. Our family has been devastated ever since. Everyday is a new struggle. I want to support my family but I am myself having a tough time coping with thingsSometimes I get tied up in looking after myself vs looking after them . It's important to do bothBut i dont know how to manage for nowSee More
May 6
Devanshi joined Jennifer's group
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Too Young To Die

My fiancé was hit by a car while biking last year, he would had turn 28 that month. Nobody deserve to die in an young age.See More
May 6
Samantha and Rosie are now friends
May 6

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