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What's Next?

For those that have been changed to the core by their loss, but have to survive in the now.

Members: 6
Latest Activity: Feb 4, 2023

Discussion Forum

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What are you doing, other than this forum, to contend with the changes in your life?Personally, I have started writing. I hope that I can create a product that will encourage others in their time of…Continue

Started by Kathleen Jordan Jun 20, 2019.

How and Who

Simply a beginning to gauge where each of us stand.  My love signed himself into hospice at 48...on his birthday....because....that's something that still torments me....Because the health care where…Continue

Started by Kathleen Jordan Jun 20, 2019.

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Comment by dream moon JO B on February 4, 2023 at 4:08pm

i dnt no i got frinds but iv my brothrer sister wen thy gon iv got not no 1 

Comment by Brian Sodoma on June 17, 2022 at 12:24am

Hi Kathleen,

I was intrigued by your title "What's next?" I feel that often we can all get caught up in the story of our grief, our pain and trauma. Not that it's not important. This pain is real. It comes and goes, but lives within us forever. But I too am curious about next steps, maybe not in a "moving on" sort of way, but more in a "what has this grief thing taught me" way.

I often find myself asking fellow grievers how the experience has changed them. I lost my daughter to leukemia five years ago, and yes there are times when I still feel haunted by the experience. Sure, it hurts, but I feel there's a little more to the whole thing.

I am grateful for having the time with my daughter (she passed before her 9th birthday) and even in losing her, I am grateful for an immense and almost immediate internal shift in priority in my life. That was a good thing. The experience taught me so much about needs, wants, realizing when I might be being a little selfish and Narcissistic at times, etc. I also feel I can prioritize what a "real" problem is versus when it's just my ego or unnecessary fears creeping in.

I would never call my daughter's passing a blessing, but it has indeed shaped my perspective and priorities in a good way. It has helped me better define what true stress and problems are, and it has made many things in life easier as a result. I can let go of emotional attachment to a lot of things that caused me stress and pain in the past, be they financial concerns, relationship concerns, and more. Again, not a bad thing. I would go back to being ignorant in a heart beat to bring my kid back, but I do almost feel like I'm obliged to take the lesson and apply it.

Again, I'm very interested in what people learn from their grief and how they leverage it into living their life. I think these experiences can help us to make different and better decisions for ourselves and others around us. When all we're talking about is our broken heart, though, it's hard to tap a renewed perspective that may be percolating inside. Just my two cents.

Anyway, thanks for starting the group, it would be nice if we can kick some thoughts around with a few others. Take care. Brian

Comment by Kathleen Jordan on June 20, 2019 at 11:01pm

I have been a member of this site for a few years now, and one of the most depressing things I see is people that are lost in the loss. I have many friends IRL that I thought I understood; now I actually do. Folks that still are single after 20 years, and those that have found someone to love. I simply want this to be as therapeutic as it can, and to learn and grow from others' experiences.

I still miss my hunny every single day, and love turning the computer on so that I can see his smiling face. But no one understands what we've been through unless they've gone through it themselves. This is a  place to share. Please,  feel welcome...and maybe together, we can figure out how to move forward.

 

Members (6)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B posted a blog post

i miss the family its no longer here

i miss the family so much its no longer here mom dad uncle sister  aunites pets frineds its like family i miss them all im woried im going to have no body soon i am iv being on this forum since 2012 dont get on much thease days i dont iv saed a lot of goodbyes from people from my church im a spirtalest  but its still hard saying goodbye See More
Sunday
Joshua Gordon is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 1
Marco is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jun 23
Walter Craig posted a discussion

...both parents

I lost my mama to cancer after her 10 month battle with Vulvar Cancer and I had to witness some very horrific days. She suffered so much and I tried to be there with her as much as I could but she did not survive this monster and passed away.my dad was also battening lung disease and he passed away 7 weeks later. I am 32 and no siblings and no family of my own.some days I feel lost and I don't know if I can carry on...See More
Jun 11
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

The Wheels on (My Grief) Bus Go Round and Round...

New Year - 2025!At the start of the year I returned to Thailand for another medical mission.  This was my fourth trip for this and I was somewhat ready/prepared for the heightened emotions.  Not sure why...no real connection to Jen or her accident, but in the past these trips offer some extended alone time, away from others, away from people that speak the same language and as such seem to bring the thoughts back to the forefront.  Strangely, the same levels of emotionality were not there.  Not…See More
May 30
Speed Weasel commented on Dottie's status
"Dottie, do you find the anniversary dates to still be as emotionally difficult as the first couple times?  I find that some years, it is very fresh and raw, others almost (almost) slip by without fanfare."
May 30
Speed Weasel replied to Mabel Murphy's discussion My husband passed away
"So sorry for you with his passing. That is rough, that there has been so much time between the initial diagnosis and the final moments.  On top of the 'normal' grief, you may also start to feel relief, which is likely to add to the…"
May 30
LP is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
May 28

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