Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Hi im new here and Im just noticing there hasnt been many discussions.Im hoping to find others that have gone thru the pain of losing a sibling.I lost my only big sister to an accidental overdose nov 6th this yr Im just devasted. I was wanting to chat with others that know what im going through.And maybe even get some advice on how to move on in a healthy way.I know they say grief is different for everyone but I dont think the pain of it all is.If anyone else needs someone to talk to Im here. Ive tried to find some support groups where I live but im not having mch luck.
I haven't lost a sibling, but I just lost my soul mate, and in 1997 I lost a child, and I can tell you the pain is unbearable, it took me 11 years to deal with the death of my son, and then finally I found some peace, met the man of my dreams 5 months ago, and he died 12 days ago. It's sent me back into the depths of despair, the only thing getting me through is that I can feel his presence around me, and he's sending me messages through music, signs, numbers, and random "strangers" that say things to me only he would have said. Your sister is probably trying to send messages to you as well, pay attention to dreams, songs, any signs that make you think of her, at night before you go to sleep light a white candle and ask her to send you a message through your dreams. Do you meditate? It really helps, I've been able to connect with my soul mate's spirit through meditation as well. We all have to deal with grief it's inevitable, and we all get through this!
I, unfortunately, know the pain of losing a sibling as well. My younger sister was murdered by her boyfriend on Dec. 20th. The pain is completely unbearable and more often than not I find myself in complete denial. I mean, I know that she is gone - I saw her lifeless body laying in her casket, but my brain and heart can't seem to be on the same page. It's hard to explain. Everyone keeps telling me that it'll hurt less as time goes on but I think it's a load of bull. I know that this pain will never lessen, I just might get better at living with it. Losing a sibling is losing a part of yourself. They are someone that you spent your entire childhood with, they are someone who knows you like no one else can, someone you told all your secrets to. I pray that I never have to know the pain of losing a child but I imagine that losing a sibling is about as close to that as anything. Have you thought about talking to a grief counselor or therapist? I have a friend who lost her twin brother to an accidental drug overdose in 2009 and she had a really hard time with it. She started seeing a therapist but not right away. I think she said she didn't seek help until almost a year afterward. She did talk with someone who also lost a sibling and it helped her until she was ready to to seek professional help. I know that I will need to seek professional help at some point but I don't think I'm there yet. If you need to talk about your sister, please feel free to contact me. Sometimes I just need to talk about my sister, I guess I feel like doing so will 'keep her alive'.
i lost my beautiful sister 6 weeks ago, suddenly, shockingly. i have been having an extremely difficult time... she and i were closer than close, we were always together through good bad and everything in between. i am so lost without her. i cant get past the horror of thinking that i need to find a way to live without her for the rest of my life. i dont know how to take a step in any direction. this is very very bad...
Ellen, Coralee, Christine, Anne, & Angela~
I am so, so sorry for your losses. There are no words...my heart goes out to each of you.
We unexpectedly lost my youngest sister last summer. Devastating. Life-altering. Rocked to the core. I found this quote shortly after she died and rediscovered it yesterday; it's just as true now as it was 9 months ago:
“My sister will die over and over again for the rest of my life. Grief is forever. It doesn't go away; it becomes a part of you, step for step, breath for breath. I will never stop grieving... because I will never stop loving her. That's just how it is. Grief and love are conjoined, you don't get one without the other. All I can do is love her, and love the world, emulate her by living with daring and spirit and joy.”
― Jandy Nelson, from "The Sky Is Everywhere"
Spreading love has been the best way I've found to work through despair and honor my love-enthusiast, peaceful-warrior little sister. Helping whoever I can, whenever I can. Reaching out to people. Love is the only light in the darkness of grief. Sending love and vibes of peace to each of you. <3
I love the quote you posted.I feel this way everyday.
I lost my younger brother the day after Christmas last year to a sudden and massive heart attack. Whilst we were growing up we were not that close, but the past 12 or so years we have been closer than ever and that makes it more difficult for me I think. It is intellectually conceivable to expect to lose a sibling, but not before my parents, not this damned young. I think one of the most heartbreaking things was hearing my father sob on the phone as he told me about my brother's passing, even though I had heard from my brother's wife a little before with the news. It just still seems surreal even now and I just keep trying to get through one day after another. I am starting to do a little better, partly by being a listener for my two older sisters and my brother's widow. It is very hard for me to talk about with my family because sometimes our grief compounds on grief, and we are not great at sharing either.
I know that I will get through this but it is one of the hardest things to have to do, losing a sibling, losing a friend is terrible. I will cease my ramble now, but know that you are not alone and you will get through the pain.