Losing a spouse and dating again

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Losing a spouse and dating again

I lost my spouse 16 months ago. Have gotten into a new relationship but he lets me grieve openly. I have a2 year old daughter. Also I am 26

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Comment by David Drumb on April 17, 2021 at 4:37pm
I lost my beautiful wife 4 months ago I still grieving. We was married for 31yrs. And the thought of starting over i ask myself how can I do that.without feeling guilty in my mind that would be like cheating. Starting over to me their would be trust issues with me. When a person builds a trusting and loyal and loving relationship its so hard trying to find it again.as far as a relationship there's no way I'm even remotely ready for that. I believe its going to be a long time even to think about it.
Comment by kathleen akin on January 11, 2017 at 3:10pm

For me...I can tell you right now it would depend on what spouse passed away. I'm sure this sounds bad, but if it had been my first spouse it would have been a short grieving period. I will leave it to the imagination as to why that would be

But losing Rocky was a different thing. I'd found him late in life, and I knew we would not have a 50 year wedding anniversary, but it was very hard to let him go. Even knowing he was sick and in pain and wanted to go. So I think it's going to be a while. I think it would be a different time period for everyone and it might be due to reasons we know nothing about.

You are right about those who have not gone through it are the ones who seem to know just exact time frame to expect. Ugh!

Comment by Lynn on June 2, 2015 at 7:51pm

I lost my husband 4yrs ago and there is not a day that goes by that he is not on my mind or in my heart. I started dating an old flame of mine and things seemed to be going great! we have known each other forever so we were already friends. We have hit a really rough patch for the second time and I am afraid that I have lost him too... I know it was hard for me to completely commit my whole heart to him as I still love my husband and I felt guilty at times for being with another man.. I am sure many of you can relate to that. I know he loves me with all his heart and I know that I was looking forward to having a future with him but his actions as of late do not match his words and there are so many complications. I don't know what to do and I feel like I am drowning and I have nothing or no one to help me through any of this.

I'm holding onto life by my fingertips....

Comment by Cathie Mac on March 9, 2015 at 7:48pm

I started dating, and although its weird, its not too difficult. Dating doesn't mean you have to forget your spouse.  A guy I have dated for a little while told me he isn't looking to replace my husband, but would like a place along side him in my heart. I thought that was a good way to look at it, even though I don't think we would make a good marriage, we are friends.

Comment by Lost & Alone on March 9, 2015 at 12:31am

My heart lightens for all of you I guess it is as they say time heals all and marches on... I just hope one day my heart will move on, sounds like you are all in a better place than me...

God Bless You

Good luck to you ... I hope you find the equilivent to what you had or as close as you can get.

Comment by Karen T. on March 1, 2015 at 9:15pm

Sashelle-

Thank you. Yeah I know that I will never get over my husband and he will always have his own special place in my heart. But everyone talks about how they understand how I will eventually start dating again and that's no big deal (my mother-in-law said this to me just 1 month after it happened and the way she said it it same out more like go start dating now and that's ok lol). My husband at a few points (he had an illness but got over ir unexpectadly so only had to be God's help) told me that since we were expecting him to pass first that he wants me not to have any down time in finding my next first date. So basically I know he has a huge chunk of my heart but I do expect that at some point in my future (maybe soon maybe far) there will be some room for another.

Comment by Sashelle on February 28, 2015 at 9:28pm
I don't know if there is a right time per se! I lost my husband in 03 and I can get choked up looking at pictures or feeling sorry for myself when my girlfriends are vacationing with their spouses or what not. I only say that to reaffirm that I have NEVER gotten over losing Chris! I don't know if I want to. I love being his Mrs. to this day.

But a year exactly after he passed, I met a guy at a cookout. My God-Daughter asked me if he was my type. I took a closer look and thought...not bad! He was definitely checking me out and it felt good to have someone look at me without having that "poor little widow" look. Here there was a nice looking man looking at me who had no idea that he should be feeling sorry for me! Well, this guy cracked me up from the first date! I honestly hadn't laughed in over a year and it felt amazing. That's when I knew it was okay to date again.
Comment by Karen T. on February 28, 2015 at 8:07pm

I know everyone says that you will know when the right time comes to start dating again, but I just feel conflicted. My heart is definately with my husband as I know it always will be, I cry sometimes very heavily just speaking or thinking about him- even just 2 days ago someone made a comment about how I had spoken about my husband and they could tell how much we were one and I just broke out in sobs. But then today as I am shopping I notice a few good looking guys around and then there was one that definately looked back at me twice and we both smiled the last time. So I mean really how do you know? Does time actually really matter? What feeling(s) am I looking for that could help me decide how and when to move on?

Comment by Lost & Alone on January 24, 2015 at 2:45am

I was wondering how things are going as well, I do not know if I am going to be ready to date yet... I still have a lot of questions for the universe and I do not know if I am strong enough to move on yet.. I was just wondering if you could tell me what led you to dating again? If that is not to personal

God Bless

Comment by Cathie Mac on April 25, 2014 at 9:48pm

I see that this post is almost a year old....how are things going?  I am trying to get back into the dating.

 

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