"i miss mom so mush i do"
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am 27 and live in NJ. I am a positive, warm and caring person and professionally I work as a client coordinator for Keller Williams as well as coach/referee girls lacrosse. Huge passion for helping others and traveling to experience life.
- About my Loss:
- My mother was 44 when it all started, she had pre-existing conditions combined with stress which only worsened leading her to have a massive stroke in 2008. I was the first person to find her, she soiled herself and I just screamed to my friends call 911, I helped her and cleaned her until they arrived and all she said was don't let me go to the hospital they won't clean me and was crying, there was nothing I could do. I was the first person to everything at 19 and I had no clue how to handle it. She seemed to be getting better but the care here was horrible so she left home to Puerto Rico to be with family and good weather to help. She did well for a while, but things started to get worse again, she never fully recovered and eventually had a massive heart attack. I went to visit her in Puerto Rico while she was there and of course when I got the news I booked a flight out there. The last words my mother ever said to me were please don't leave me when we were at the hospital and this hurts everyday. I was young, in college and I have this residual guilt of I should have dropped out or found a way to take care of her and finish school, my family tells me my mother made them promise her that I wouldn't drop out of school to take care of her. I just feel, I could have figured it out, the pain I feel without her here is worse than it taking me 2 additional years to finish college. My mother was my absolute best friend, biggest fan, and my "ride or die". I just feel I was young and my family should have come together to make it possible but instead everyone divided. I did try to relocate to fl and transfer schools to make it work with my family and my father turned down the option and my mother didn't want to move without him.
It have been 5 and a half years and yesterday 1/29 was her birthday. Everyday I find a new reason to miss her. Although all of my memories are loving thoughts I just feel we both were cheated and everything I do now is to make her hard work in putting me through catholic school worth it. I graduated college which was her dream, traveled to Europe, and everyday continue to try new things to experience all life has to offer.
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