We lost my mother in law May25, 2011...Nov 1 2011 my mom was diagnosed with stage IV appendicial cancer (WHO GETS APPENDIX CANCER? Sheesh), and it was a total nightmare for 22 months. Horrible, wishing for her to pass, which is also a horrible feeling. She passed Sept 14,2013. My father in law passed on our anniversary, April 11 2014, six months after my mom. 

I could ALMOST deal with these, almost.  I was so close to being able to deal. They are parents, and although we are only  in our 30's, they are meant to go first. So close...

then my older sister was diagnosed with breast cancer in May. It was early and she will survive, but it still shook me---none of us are safe and it's a CRAPSHOOT if you will find it early or too late. Dumb luck. Prayers can't stop any of it from  happening.

I was visiting her in June, they'd just moved, before her surgery, when the puppy we'd had for ONE STINKIN YEAR, the puppy we got to help heal our hearts, was hit and killed while I was away.

Start the free fall. my grief is in full swing. A 15 year old hung himself --HUNG HIMSELF--- near us.

Such a free fall. The world doesn't seem lovely, it seems like a cruel trick.  I just want TIME TO HEAL before anything else happens. Yet I don't feel like I can trust the world.. How to heal, how to prepare for the next onslaught? So tired. The holidays are coming. 

So tired.

Views: 102

Replies to This Discussion

honst ansew dnt no dad died in 2012 thn so mush loss in 2012 thn 2013 2014 2015 u wud thng god had on a hit lits takp away pep in famly or frinds or nboz 

im sorry if sayn wong silly stull lk gods hot lits u cud say

im 40 41 nxt mtb i cnt evn enjy bday lk i usd i lk it olf famly footos it bday meals thng why r u nt still hera hear 

frind we nw hung hm slf 2 thn nbz die 2 1 killd bt hit run drvr famly die frinds die iv lots fingrs 2 cont on 2 ask hw mny coz iv lots cont u cud say

mums gt brest c mermy probs on tpo of my mad wrld bran u cud say my sistr lots her cats 2 1 lst yr thn o 1 ths yr 

it feals lk lif is shit u cud say hw mush shit canwe can we tak 

sorry if iv bean ramlin ir rantin juts yore pots is lk my lif shit 2 mush loss 

sorry 4 t yore loss losses 2

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service