My husband Mark was my soul mate we were childhood sweethearts finding each other at just 14 for 35 years we spent every day together we went to school together then worked together then loved together. Just 12 weeks ago Mark was diagnosed with oesophageal Cancer which had already met to his lungs 10 short weeks down the track it has met to his brain with so many lesions they couldn't count them. I am completely shattered and shocked and devestated. we have 2 fabulous boys aged 19 & 20. How do I survive???

Views: 156

Replies to This Discussion

Oh hun, I was right where you are now just a year ago.  You survive because that is what you have to do.  It is what you would want for your husband if it had been you that cancer struck down.  You will survive because your children cant loose both parents.  You will survive because there are others here who will offer you hugs and stories and understanding that only someone who has walked in your shoes can offer.  At first it is going to seem like there will never be a smile cross your face again but one day in the next months you will smile.  You will then feel so guilty that you could have a happy moment and we will assure you that it is ok.  Im so so so very sorry you have to face this huge loss but you dont have to face it alone. 

Thank you. I'm having trouble negotiating this site... I think maybe my head is still too foggy. But its so nice to just say what you feel and not have to put on a brave front and pretend everything is ok. You people actually know what has happened to me. How unfair is life.

Polly I totally understand.  I lost my best friend and soulmate too a month ago.  It doesn't seem real.  I walk around the house so lost.  I am soooo lonely and angry and extremely sad.  I feel like I am a zombie just trying to get by day to day.  I feel no joy.  I can not smile.  All I feel is depair and pain.  She was my other half and now that half of me is GONE!  Cancer is such a "MONSTER"  I am struggling with my faith in GOD.  I have been told by many that it will get better with time.  So far however time has only made it worse.  As each day goes by the loneliness, despair and tears become more and more.  I am surviving because she asked me to make a promise to her that I would watch over her son.  I think if she would not have made me make that promise, I would want to be with her.  Yes life is unfair.  Very unfair.  I see good people dying and evil people living.  I don't understand.  Yes it is hard to navigate this site.   I keep a journal and write to her everyday.  I don't know whether that is making things easier or harder but it is nice to write and share with her my day and my emotions.  I pray for all of us that one day we will understand all of this.  One day we will be reunited with our loved ones.  We will survive but it won't be easy.  We have family that needs us.  Blessings and love.

Polly:  You survive because you have to.   He needs you to be strong and help him.   Caregiving is tough work but you can enjoy the better part of it because you love him and he needs you right now.   Take the time to fall apart together, but don't waste any time.  Enjoy every single moment you have together.    Do anything and everything that he is able to do.  Make some more memories every day.  

Heartfelt hugs to you....I also lost my husband... 2 months after diagnosed with lung cancer... It is not easy. What helps me is grabbing all the support I can. Hospice support group, counseling, several close friends, journaling, prayer and family. Together we can and will get through this process greif...truly hugs and prayers, Joni

Polly, I have no family so I am not surviving, just existing.  However, you have children and I can't tell you how much a mother means to a child no matter how old they are.  You will survive because your kids need you.  You will survive because your kids are his kids and they will keep him alive in the world.

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service