Hey. I lost my mom to cancer in Jan of 2010, so almost 2 years ago and I hate the holidays as well despite the fact that I have 3 small children and have all the fun Santa stuff, I dread it ALL without my mom being here. My family is drifting apart as well and as you say...the holiday rituals seemed to have died with my mom. Its sad. My parents were divorced and we no longer talk to her husband and my Dad has a new girlfriend and is spending the holidays with her in Brazil. My brother made it his priority to spend the holidays  (even Christmas) with his wife's family so that leaves my sister and I. Its really sad and depressing. They say when you lose someone to take an 'inventory" of all you have lost that went along with that person...the joy of the holidays is definitely on that list for me! You are not alone in this grief nightmare from hell.