Shane...My heart feels your pain, the same pain that I feel over the loss of my beautiful partner, Brad, who was only 35 years old. You and Christian should have had many wonderful years together and now you are suffering this traumatic loss at such a young age. But your youth is a benefit - you will move on with your life when you're ready. I'm not so sure about myself. I am not a religious person, but I do believe that God = love = energy and energy can't be destroyed. That energy (soul if you will) exists outside the body (contrary to Christian beliefs) and so the attachment we have to the other people in our lives is never lost. I feel Brad's energy around me all the time and I often connect most strongly with it in my dreams.  A friend of mine created a small, Buddhist-like shrine on the lanai where Brad lost his life in our pool.  Just a bouquet of flowers, a candle, and a few personal items that had meaning for the two of us. I can't tell you how much peace that shrine brought to me those first few days after his death. The shrine is gone now, but I still feel his presence whenever I go out to the lanai. I am gearing myself up for a memorial service on 9/17, when our friends will get together and tell Brad stories and talk about the influence he had on our lives. Then we'll float his ashes out to sea in a rice paper "boat." It might help if you and your friends have a similar service and though you won't have his ashes, perhaps a nice picture of him (you have so many) would be a substitute. I think that all of these little memorials are very helpful in the grieving process. But the most important thing to remember is that it's only his physical body that is separated from you. If you calmly reflect on all the wonderful moments you two shared, I think you'll feel his presence surrounding you like loving arms. At least that is my experience. Know that you are not alone - we all share your loss, as you share ours.