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Comment by Linda McDonnell on August 23, 2011 at 6:58pm

no one answered me so i deleted my post

Comment by Laura Krause on August 19, 2011 at 7:39pm

Mercy

I know exactly how you feel. I get sick to my stomach when it hits me. And it hits me at least once a day. I got upset at a friends house the other day when I went to pick up my son from her sons birthday party. Her mom was there helping with the birthday party just like my mom used to do with me. I just started crying. I just got out of there as quickly as possible. I was mad cuz she still has her mom. It just isnt fair is it? Hang in there all. one day at a time.

Laura

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on August 19, 2011 at 4:11am

its really hard guys...im doing better, but not every day....i never know....keep going on guys

Comment by mercy on August 18, 2011 at 2:31pm

Meggie; I hear you. I'm in the exact same boat as you. Its hard to get excited about anything these days. My poor baby girl has to endure a depressed mom and this is so unfair to her but I can't help these emptiness. I don't even want to talk to my mother in law; she was the same age as mom and looks so much like her. It just reminds me that I don't have my mama anymore. I have some good days but not one hour goes by that I don't get a sinking feeling, knowing I'll never see her again. Sometimes I get light headed and physically ill with this grief. I totally know how you feel. God Bless you.

Comment by Meggie Meg on August 17, 2011 at 10:29pm

It's been crazy lately. Losing my mom was so hard, and it has wiped me out emotionally and physically. I no longer care about the things I cared about before. I feel so overwhelmed and sad. I literally have cried almost every day since. I cannot begin to tell you how much I hurt inside. How am I supposed to go on alone? I have no family that I am close to, and both of my parents are dead. My boyfriend is supportive, but we've been dating 4 years. We're not married, and the loss of my mom just makes me feel more like I'm not part of his family. It makes me feel more separated from them.

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on August 17, 2011 at 7:42pm

I had a strange experience today....I was cleaning my apartment and went into a room where my mom's old clothes are....well, there was an old purse of hers, and i picked it up, and it still had the smell of her on it....it was comforting, but kinda weird....but im glad i have that of hers.....it brought me close to her somehow.....it was still a strange experience

Comment by Robin Williams on August 17, 2011 at 5:28pm

Janice-

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I loss my moma who was only 63 last July to a massive heart attack.  She was perfectly fine one day and gone the very next.  Every day is like a roller coaster physically and emotionally.  The latest bomb to drop is that my dad is looking at engagment rings for a woman he has only been dating for 2 1/2 months.  He began dating before my beloved Moma had been gone for a year.  My whole life is upside down so I understand that some days are are a total mess and other days you are "okay".  I pray that God will bless you during this time and that we all can find the peace we so desperately need.

Comment by mercy on August 17, 2011 at 2:11pm

Hi Janice; I'm so sorry about the loss of your mom. For me its been two months and even though mom was ill for a long time before her death, we still were not prepared. She was only 72 and had so much she wanted to accomplish. I miss her so much and have contemplated an easy end to life so I can be with her but I know that would hurt my family so bad. The only thing that gives me comfort is knowing she's no longer suffering emotional and physical pain. She had endured so much loss from a very early age. The last straw was ehen my 43 year old brother died suddenly last year. I was so angry at God for putting such a burden on my mom who was recovering from cancer. I know the pain you are going through, I don't have any words of comfort to give you but just know I understand and are here for you dear. Take care.

Comment by Janice C on August 17, 2011 at 9:56am

I wrote this and thought I posted it last year but no one ever responded to it so I'm re-posting. 

 

My mom passed away suddenly on October 23, 2010. She was 83 years old and was still working...go mom! She'd had stents placed in 2009 in her heart and was doing great and then out of nowhere had a heart attack on October 8th and was admitted to the cardiac unit at an area hospital. I got to the hospital in time to talk to her and be with her till it was time for her to go into the cardiac cath lab for the doctor's to check the stents and add new ones or re-stent. My sister and oldest brother were there with me and we all told her we loved her and that she'd be fine right before they took her in for the procedure and when they brought her out she was on a ventilator and never regained consciousness. This all happened on October 9th because she went into emergency around 2am and they got her stabilized. From that moment forward we were never able to communicate with her again. The doctors were optimistic in the beginning but it was a roller coaster. Some days she show signs of getting better then others she'd be the same or worse. She had an advanced medical directive that we were following regarding her wishes for treatment, etc. They'd given her 3 units of blood and she started bleeding internally and her other organs began to fail so we decided, along with her doctors, and following the directive, that we needed to let her go. It was the hardest decision we ever had to make. My sister, two brothers and I and our spouses and other family members gathered around her bedside on October 23rd as they removed her from the ventilator and she slipped away quietly at 5:50pm. It had been storming badly all day long but as we were all leaving the hospital, so numb from what we'd all been through, the clouds parted and the brightest beam of sunlight shown through. We felt it was a good sign. We all still miss her so, so much. In fact I've been decorating for Christmas today and had to stop because I was crying so much. If anyone had told me a year ago that mama wouldn't be here this Christmas I wouldn't have believed them. I feel so lost without her. Some days I'm okay but others I'm a total mess. I'm so thankful to have found this website.

Comment by mercy on August 15, 2011 at 12:40pm

Hi Janet; this is a very tough journey. I miss my mom so much, my chest hurts most of the time. I know I too question myself if I did enough for her and if she knew how much I loved her. She was the most loving caring mom (I know we all feel this way about our moms LOL). She had ten children and we all felt she loved us equally. Yesterday when I opened the box with some of the clothes mom gave me, the song " what a friend we have in Jesus" came to me out of the blues. IT WAS MY MOMS FAVORITE. I miss her so much, don't know how to go on without her.

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