It's been 8 years since my father passed and I feel like I have more unanswered questions for him now than I ever had while he was alive. When I was 18 years old my Father told me I had a half sister who was basically sold by my biological mother so she could buy drugs. I was also told that he was at the hospital when this supposed "child" was born and the baby came out half black and was not his so he signed over his rights. He always painted my mother in a terrible light as if she was a monster. Mind you, my mother struggled with drug and alcohol problems most of my childhood which ultimately resulted in their divorce when I was 7 years old. My dad at that time of my life was my rock and I had no reason to not believe him. When he passed in 2013 I became very depressed and my life turned completely upside down. I had always wondered about my sister, and hoped that her life away from our toxic family turned out better than mine ever could. I had very little information about my half sibling and asked other family members as well as my Mother to give me any and all info they had but because the adoption was closed it would seem my search for my sister would end quickly. Fast forward to 2019. I receive an email from a young lady on FB claiming to be my sister. She knew both of my parents names and said she was adopted at 3 days old and at the age of 22 took an Ancestry.com DNA test that revealed my Aunt on my Mother's side was 99% chance of being her full blooded Aunt. Low and behold this young lady named Adrian is in fact my full-blooded sister and my Fathers Daughters. We instantly connected over FB messenger and talked for over a year before we met in January 2021! One of the Happiest days of my life besides getting married to my lovely Wife Abigail. As elated as I am to have found my sister and have such a loving and healthy relationship with her I can't help but still be angry at my Father for lying to me. I don't understand why he did it or why he lied about it and seemed hellbent on making sure to manipulate me into thinking my Mother was a terrible person when all along he was the seriously fucked up one. Can anyone else relate? Loosing your parent is hard enough but having to forgive someone for a lie this huge when they can't apologize or even explain is difficult. I just need answers.

Views: 246

Replies to This Discussion

Is there any in his family still alive you could ask? I am so sorry. We found out a few years ago that my long-passed mother-in-law had been married before she married my father-in-law. And she raised hell when my husband got a divorce...what? Hugs to you

Nobody on my dad's side of the family speaks to me because I am gay and they are all a bunch of religious nut cases. The only info I have is what my mother gave me which isn't very much. It's just the simple fact of the matter that I went my whole life hating my Mom and for no good reason bc obviously my father was a liar.

RSS

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"i miss mom so mush i do"
Thursday
Susan E Marshall commented on Susan E Marshall's photo
Thumbnail

My husband

"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
Apr 6
Susan E Marshall and William Gardener are now friends
Apr 6
Natasha updated their profile
Apr 5
Angie Rowland joined Rita-Cecile's group
Thumbnail

LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITED loss and grief

Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
Apr 3
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service