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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 751
Latest Activity: Aug 13, 2023

Discussion Forum

Missing my identity 2 Replies

Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.

i need my mom

Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.

I want my Mommy 1 Reply

Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.

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Comment by Theresa on August 17, 2019 at 5:42am

Wonderful Avi!!!  

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 17, 2019 at 1:42am

Amen, Avi.

Comment by Avi on August 17, 2019 at 1:01am

Thanks all. This group is my extended family. 

Comment by M Adams on August 16, 2019 at 12:02pm

Avi, that is so lovely to hear — best wishes to her and your family!

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 16, 2019 at 11:48am

That's wonderful, Avi. Congratulations. And I wish you another 100 years with her.

Comment by Avi on August 16, 2019 at 12:57am

Hi All, 

Friends, my daughter's first bday celebration went great. She is now 1 year old and motivating force for my dad to live. My dad is able to laugh and enjoy life because of his grand daughter. Even I feel motivated to live so that I can see her grow. 

I feel gratitude to the almighty for giving me this angel. 

Comment by Theresa on August 9, 2019 at 4:58am

Brett. Like I said it my one hour of peace

than you Brett 

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 9, 2019 at 1:27am

Theresa, sitting in adoration is wonderful. It's easy to lose faith when life is kicking you in the gut. You are keeping a light burning.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 8, 2019 at 2:03pm

We lost more than half of our class. Sometimes what a person needs is specific, and one size does not fit all. The homework just made me miserable. The first week we had to write a letter to our loved one and tell them what we miss about them. The next week we were to set a plate at the dinner table for our loved one. I don't see how any of that would help. It sure didn't help me. It just made things worse. I guess the point is to help you face what you are feeling. I needed no help there. I can understand why some therapists may not like those classes. The person who volunteers to lead the class may not be qualified to take on such a heavy subject.

The counselor I saw was no better. She would push daily affirmations. I can tell myself that I like myself all day long. That doesn't make me miss my mom any less.

What I need is to replace the love that I no longer have. That's hard to find. The day after my mom died, my girlfriend at the time, told me not to talk to my mom out loud because mom was probably in purgatory. That was a horrible thing to say. The problem is that you can't just manufacture love. You just can't pick a random person. It has to be real.

I sure do not get it from my remaining family. A couple of days after my mom died, my sister actually asked me if mom and I had ever had sex. I hung up on her. That's my family.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 8, 2019 at 12:28pm

One of the issues that I have with almost any kind of counselor is that they are being paid. They are not emotionally invested. I guess if you find the right one you can still get some great advice, but there is something discouraging about having to pay someone to listen to you.

The grief class that I attended was through the church as well. We would meet for one hour a week and the person who ran the class would rush us through it so that it wouldn't go over an hour. Not everyone got to talk. We would go from one topic to the next too quickly. And I did realize that all of us could offer advice to the others without filter. It only takes one person who thinks his brand of pain is worse than yours to ruin a class.

All of this is why I think a real support system is so important. It would be great if the person who is there for you also loves you dearly.

 

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