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Comment by Avi on December 12, 2018 at 6:37am

HI Daylight. 

Thanks. 

Any one who want to talk on skype, please feel free to contact me at avitiwari26@gmail.com

Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 6:00am

Thanks Brett, I'm trying to do my best but grief is a heavy burden. I feel isolated, alone and unprotected. I've never expected to lose my mom( as nobody does). It was too sudden. Plus, I don't have really close family since I am the only child from this marriage, so It's hard for me not to feel lonely. Christmas is proving to be the most difficult part of the years. In January will be my mom's death anniversary and somehow Christmas brought all the memories of the day of her death. I can't talk to anybody because they either think: It's been a year, get over it or we don't want to talk about your mom because we don't want you to feel sad. So, this group is the only place where feel confortable sharing my real feelings that sometimes may sound a little insane. Thanks for being there.

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 12, 2018 at 12:42am

I hope that you are well, Daylight.

Comment by Daylight on December 11, 2018 at 10:25pm

Hi, everyone! It has been a long time. I just want to let you know that I read all your posts. Avi, this is my first Christmas without my mom too. I feel very bad to be honest and I don't know what to do. I'm so glad this group exists. I'm an ocean away from you and yet so close... Brett thanks for your words! They always make me feel better. Hope you all a good night and that you can find confort in sharing your feelings here since people outside this group don't understand us.

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 10, 2018 at 11:59pm

Avi, I wish you more than 20-25 years. No girl should lose their daddy when she is still so young.

Comment by Avi on December 10, 2018 at 11:40pm

Yes Brett. A bit of rough phase but coping up to do things as mentioned by Selv. To do work to earn and other things. 

One thing which is driving me is my angel (my 4 months daughter). Her name is Kiana and her smile is my driving force to live. I wish I can live at least for 20-25 years, give her a good life and then meet my mother. She will also like me to fulfil my responsibility before meeting her in heaven(in english) or Swarg (in hindi). In India, we call heaven as Swarg (place where good people go). 

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 10, 2018 at 12:14am

Avi, I feel like you are going through a rough time right now. You're not alone. One of the great things about a site like this is that you are a world away but I know who you are and I know that you are missing your mom just as much as I am. You're not alone, buddy. I'm with you. Post here when you need to talk. I can't remember, of all the people who post here, who is going through their first Christmas without their mom. And to be honest, I can't say the first Christmas is the hardest. They are all hard. My first Christmas was the night my mom died. So, the second year was really the first. The advantage of that first year is that the memory of your mom is so much fresher. My memories are still fresh but I am three years removed from hearing her voice, or looking into her eyes. What is most unfortunate about the following years is that, the farther you are away from her death, the more people will assume that you have healed. That can be very hard. Some people that I have met after my mom's death will say, "How long ago was it?" When I say three years, they kind of act like, "Oh, you're fine." I am not fine. I don't know how long grief takes. I know that we will always miss our moms, but I am talking about the duration of intense pain, if not agony. I don't know when that ends. I do know that it varies from person to person. And probably depends on your support system. after my mom died, it would have been a dream come true if I could have snapped my fingers as had a loving wife and children. I also realize that those relationships are not always perfect either. No one gets out of this without scars. I am just a little boy who misses his mom with all of my heart.

Comment by Avi on December 9, 2018 at 11:46pm

Agree Brett. Completely. My mother used to worry about small things and I used to get irritated sometimes. But now I miss it

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 9, 2018 at 11:04pm

My mom worried about every detail of my life. There are some who would say that is intrusive. I felt that she was just being a mom. I miss that so much. I had the flu last year. I was laying in that bed and all I could hear was silence. My mom would have checked on me frequently. If the batter in my car dies in a random parking lot, no one would care. My mom would care greatly. I just don't know how to say goodbye to that.

Comment by Avi on December 9, 2018 at 10:10pm

Good morning Adams. It is 9:40 AM in India and I am at my job and trying to concentrate hard as my Mom always wanted. 

I have almost stopped complaining of anything in life now as I have already lost my most precious gift. Now what ever I have is privilege. 

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