Comment

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 27, 2018 at 7:48am

Thanks for sharing Joe & Monty. My Husband still lives in my mind and heart and he will forever until I join him. 

Comment by Monty on November 26, 2018 at 7:55pm

Thanks M Adams.

Im glad that you found some of it helpful 

Comment by M Adams on November 26, 2018 at 7:03pm

Monty, those sites are very helpful, thank you for posting them.  The thing about dark thoughts and grief-laden memories flooding in as you try to fall asleep, while the rational parts of your mind power down, is unfortunately an exact description of my current situation. Think I'm going to try some of the strategies mentioned tonight -- these days I need all the help I can get.

Comment by Monty on November 26, 2018 at 4:42pm

sorry re double post.

Comment by Monty on November 26, 2018 at 4:41pm

Hi Linda

Im sorry to hear about your niece and her loss

  My thoughts on the issue of grief is likely cute different than others, as every ones grief is a very personal process to journey though.

  I would surest that the culmination of her relationship with her partner, family and the situation leading to the death of her husband coupled with her personality and values would be the deciding factor on how GREIF affects her.

  I would i think approaching the her with the same open caring and non judgmental attitude i approach this form and (try in real life with for me is harder). 

  Grief is different for every one as every one is different.

I know its not a direct answer

but its the only one i have.

Comment by Monty on November 26, 2018 at 4:41pm

Comment by Monty 11 minutes agoDelete Comment

Hi Linda

Im sorry to hear about your niece and her loss

  My thoughts on the issue of grief is likely cute different than others, as every ones grief is a very personal process to journey though.

  I would surest that the culmination of her relationship with her partner, family and the situation leading to the death of her husband coupled with her personality and values would be the deciding factor on how GREIF affects her.

  I would i think approaching the her with the same open caring and non judgmental attitude i approach this form and (try in real life with for me is harder). 

  Grief is different for every one as every one is different.

I know its not a direct answer

but its the only one i have.

Comment by Monty on November 26, 2018 at 4:12pm

Hi All

as mentioned previously i have been doing a bunch of reflection as the first anniversary of my Wife's death is rapidly approaching ( as is Christmas).

i have been struggling with thinking.  Its like my head is full of thick soup.    at work it takes much more concentration to even do any basic trouble shooting and i miss lots of little things that i would previously picked up straight away.

in short I'm struggling to do my job where i would normally have done it easy.

anyway in researching "brain got and grief" i came up with some sites.  and they pinpoint a lot of my feelings / experiences around my ability to think.

i just thought i would share

https://barbarafane.com/grief-symptoms-how-grief-affects-the-brain/

https://www.prevention.com/health/memory/a20441690/how-your-brain-r...

https://www.neuronation.com/science/when-our-brain-grieving

hope every one is having as awesome day as they can

love and walm wishes to all

regards Monty

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 26, 2018 at 3:16pm

Hi Friends,

I would like to get your input as to what complicated grief is. I have had it for over 6 years but my niece who lost her Husband feels all grief is complicated. I disagree with her because my Husband and I were true soulmates, we shared everything together. I think she is feeling guilty because she was always wrapped up in what she was doing even though they were married. The only thing they did together is when they went on vacation with there kids. I visited them a few years before he died and my niece was never home, I only since her twice in a weeks visit. I would appreciate any comments you might have. Thanks, Linda

Comment by Linda Engberg on November 23, 2018 at 7:18am

Thanks to all of you for sharing you feelings, This forum is the only thing that keeps me going. I accept that I will never be any better than the day Julian died. It's the price to pay for love an a soulmate. I jut don't fit in the world anymore.

Comment by Beth Swansboro on November 23, 2018 at 2:00am

It helps you took time to console me. I am thinking of how your dealing with all this. I am so sorry. People don't understand mental illness. It is snap your fingers and get On with life. Nope not that easy. I do pray a lot and will keep you in my prayers.

LIFE is hard for sure. Hopefully we can try and help each other here and there. You hang in there too. I don't do well in the day. To long! I will be in touch. God Bless.

P.S. I am not a church fanatic. Just normal believer.

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