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Comment by Theresa on November 21, 2018 at 5:35am

Virginia, we are all suffering if we were not we would not be human, at times our cross is very heavy, but you have to remember God is always beside you.

Your mom needs to know you will be alright so she can rest in peace, believe me, my mother and I had a very strong bond afterall she had me at 42, she was all I had and I was all she had. 

My situation is a bit different my mom was gone in a blink of an eye, no warning, nothing, no illness, not one thing, it was like someone hit me with a bat in the face, I didn't get to say I love you mom.....

I took me three years and my faith to say ok God does everything for a reason, I miss her every single day of my life and I know that will not change ever, but please try to have faith and tell God you love her and ask him to please give you strength.  And tell your mom you love her and you will see her again one day after you have lived your life like she did.  My mom used to say just in conversation "honey I lived my life, you have to live yours".

:)

Comment by Avi on November 21, 2018 at 3:23am

Virginia, sorry if my words touched you. I just wanted to say that we may have few reasons more than others to live. 

Comment by Virginia G on November 21, 2018 at 1:29am

Avi, You can’t say one person is suffering more than another.  Everyone is different and you don’t know what’s in their heart.

Brett, if you don’t have joy what makes you get up everyday?

Comment by Avi on November 19, 2018 at 3:56am

Hi Brett

Your words give me hope that I will be with my mom someday. This is enough motivation to live. 

Virginia, sometimes we do feel that God has done lot of injustice to us but if you look around there are people who suffer lot more than us. Not sure if our mothers can see us, but if yes then she will be upset to see you getting demotivated to live. Family is important but you can consider anybody as your family if you wish to including me as your younger brother, friend anything. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on November 19, 2018 at 12:49am

Virginia, do you think I feel any joy right now? I don't. But I think about how much my mom loved me and how much it would hurt her if i harmed myself. She could not have led a happy life if she knew that was in my future. She would have held on to life with all her might so that I would not be without her, but that wasn't an option. As much as my mom loved me, her body broke down. She had to go. I told her that I would be okay because she needed to hear that. And now, I am going to do everything possible to be okay because I want to fulfill that promise. And more than that, I deserve to be okay, and you deserve to be okay. Those negative voices that you are hearing are your enemy. The answer is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Find happiness where you can. Make someone happy. Be nice to a total stranger. Never give up. We will be with our mom's again, but let it be in God's time.

Comment by Virginia G on November 18, 2018 at 7:25pm

There’s no joy without her and I wouldn’t want any.

its the only answer

Comment by Brett Bowman on November 17, 2018 at 2:24am

Virginia, you so often end your posts with something ominous. You are trying to say something and it is coming across loud and clear. Don't wish yourself dead. Try to live while you're alive. Find joy where you can. Never give up.

Comment by Virginia G on November 17, 2018 at 12:15am

Some songs have popped into my head for no reason but that are appropriate.  I don’t even listen to the radio anymore so it’s not like I heard them recently.  I wasn’t trying to think of songs either.  First it was I can’t smile without you by Barry Manilow, then People who need people by Barbara Streisand, now today, A Mother and Child Reunion by Paul Simon and I sure hope that one means something and soon.

Comment by Brett Bowman on November 16, 2018 at 11:58pm

I love the Doors. Jim Morrison is just the coolest. And I love that song. It's about feeling alone in a crowd. I can relate.

Virginia, why would God tell you that you deserve to be alone? I think it is quite the opposite. You are telling yourself that you deserve to be alone. If you are anything like me, you feel alone because the center of your life, the person who loves you the most is gone. Anyone would feel alone. The one person I couldn't bear to lose is gone. And there are no phone calls, no letters, no weekend visits, she's just gone. Is she aware of me? Maybe so, but I can't feel that.

I have read books about heaven but we won't know for sure until we get there. The bible says very little about what heaven is actually like. Jesus did promise in the Sermon on the Mount that there would be comfort for those who mourn. I believe that. Jesus said that God is spirit. I believe that in heaven, we will be given a true understanding of what God is. I think every tree, every blade of grass, is alive, and that you will feel a part of it all. I believe that's what God is.I have no idea what goes on there, though I am pretty sure it beats the crap out of this life. All I know is that my mother is there. That makes me long for the day that I get to be with her. I think that when we die, Jesus himself greets us, and that you will never feel so loved, and so forgiven as when you are face to face with him. I think in that moment it all makes sense. And that it will make sense forever. And best of all, we never have to say goodbye again.

You know, the grass is always greener on the other side. You say that the only people who love you are your family. Well, you're one up on me.

We do live without them. We are doing so right now. It may not feel like living, but remember this, every second that ticks away is one second closer to going home. The clock starts ticking the second we are born. Every day that passes is one day of your life that is behind you. You are closer to heaven with each passing day.

Bluebell, I miss you.

Comment by Virginia G on November 16, 2018 at 11:22pm

I am realizing the only people that truly love me are my family.

So how am I expected to live without them?

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