Comment

Comment by Theresa on August 2, 2018 at 5:25am

Brett, I know, my husband doesn't want to hear it at all, but then again his mom is still here, he has no idea how I feel, nor has he ever asked me.  He is one of those people who say really, its been almost three years.... whatever, like I said he has no idea.

So many things go over my mind in a day, like when I went back to my moms house after I left the hospital, I went down to the laundry room and I stood there in the quiet and looked at her sneakers that she used to wear to do outside work, and I said to myself she is not coming back here again.  

Every day is still difficult, but I try to keep occupied so my mind is not wondering and thinking of what I cannot change.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 1, 2018 at 9:11pm

Theresa, you are exactly right. We are all broken records, but that is one of the good things about this site. We are all in the same boat and we get it. I rarely talk about this stuff outside of this place because no one wants to hear it now. 

Comment by Theresa on August 1, 2018 at 8:39pm

Brett you’re right we have not heard from Bluebell I surely hope she’s OK
Your words were exactly right I always look to see if someone is posting I’m sure no one wants to hear me I sound like a broken record
For some reason not a day goes by without my mom being on my mind a lot I guess it’s because I just miss her so much I guess this is how the rest of my life will be I know for fact that I will never ever forget my mom I just wish every day that it could’ve been different but it wasn’t
Avi I wish you the best of luck I’m sure your mom is smiling from Heaven

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 1, 2018 at 1:29pm

Guys, I think one of the reasons why we don't post is much as we once did is because we still miss our moms just as much, and we still cry a lot.

This is still new territory for all of us. You only lose your mom once. For the first year I was still kind of in shock. The second year is when It really hit home that she was never coming back. Friends and family seemed to be sick and tired of hearing about how much I missed my mom. I think people are still reluctant to ask me how I am doing for fear that I will tell them. Finding this site was another avenue for me to seek help and understanding. If any group of people knew what I was going through it was this one. And I did have hope that someone here would have words of wisdom that would help me heal. After several months posting here I still had the same problems, it was just that now more people knew about them.

We all continue looking for that light at the end of the tunnel but we can't see it. Maybe, sometimes we see glimmers (maybe not) but we are not home yet. I have no idea how long it will take before we are well again. I hope that we will all continue to post. Even if I can't make myself feel better, maybe I can support another person if they are going through a particularly rough patch. All we can do is try. There are no magic words.

I think that we have legitimate cause to be concerned about Bluebell. She would have chimed in by now if she was okay.

Let's all say a prayer for her today. And Avi I pray for a healthy delivery and years and years of happiness. The baby will certainly have a great dad. It's just another way that you can honor your mom. I know that you will.

God Bless you all.

Comment by Avi on July 30, 2018 at 11:33am

Same here theresa. Good thing is that you used to talk to her daily on driving back home which I did not use to do. I used to talk to her once in couple of days before she was diagnosed. 

And also some circumstances were bad at the time of her treatment as well due to which I feel disgusted but yes she is not coming back now and I have to live with this feeling. 

Comment by Theresa on July 30, 2018 at 7:51am

My thoughts exactly Avi I try to help people that are less fortunate and I know if my beliefs are true that we will see our loved ones again I cry every day still and it’s almost 3 years but I guess that’s just how it’s going to be and I’m going to have to accept it some days are just harder than others I keep taking myself back to the day my mom passed away I talk to her on the phone in a half an hour later she was in cardiac arrest I think about when I went to her house and knew she was never coming back there it just tears my heart out I just go over it and over it and nothing I do will change it or nothing that I could’ve done will change it Hopefully

Comment by Avi on July 30, 2018 at 7:27am

Theresa. I am just OK. Waiting for wife's delivery which is expected in Aug second week. 

Rest life remains as it is. I get happiness in helping others now. Just trying to help one physically challenged guy get a job in my company. It makes me feel satisfied if my life is worth for somebody else. I miss my mom like anything and cry almost daily. Hope that I will be reunited with her some day some where drives me to live. 

How are you doing Theresa?

Comment by Theresa on July 30, 2018 at 5:34am

Hi Avi, I was just thinking the same thing about everyone, Bluebell, we are hoping you are doing well.

How are you doing Avi?

Comment by Avi on July 30, 2018 at 12:45am

Hi guys 

How all are doing. How are you BlueBell?

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 25, 2018 at 10:08am

That would be so nice.

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