Information

Lost My Spouse...

Members: 387
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Discussion Forum

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 6 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Martha Washburn Sep 22, 2022.

Loss of spouse… 3 Replies

For 40+ years we were together…married 39 years….We were to celebrate our 40th anniversary…Nobody who hasn’t been married, and lost a spouse could possibly understand….even though he was into many…Continue

Started by Susan B. Last reply by Connie Sep 1, 2022.

Today is the anniversary of my wedding day 2 Replies

I got married on May 1, 1992 and lost my husband on June 30, 2017. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life and if I had one wish, it would be to go back and live that day over. It has been…Continue

Started by Carol Klotz. Last reply by Carol Klotz May 3, 2020.

Lost my light in the darkness 2 Replies

I lost my wife on the 25 of March after returning from my Dads funeral. She is everything to me. No matter how bad it got, no matter how much my PTSD drug me down, She has been my light in the…Continue

Started by Shane Hughes. Last reply by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Lost My Spouse... to add comments!

Comment by morgan on June 17, 2018 at 10:19pm

Talking about signs from our loved ones I could say I've had some.  They are too hard to explain but I could say that they seemed awfully coincidental if they weren't real signs.  But after the first couple years of a few really singular powerful ones I really haven't felt there has been anything i could ascribe to being a "sign".  

I didnt dream about anything for several years.  Only once in great while.  Now I dream really vivid dreams of him periodically but all that does it make me want him more.  

The worst thing right now is the anxiety in the mornings.  I have no desire to get out of bed.  None.  Why?  Because i know I have to face this awful world without him.  I don't want to wake up.  And when I do then I curse the universe for making it real again and the welling up inside of me is so upset at having to tackle another day my digestive system starts roaring and I normally will feel the crying about to start.  I go through it and think how am I going to last.  I have no control over it.  I know now that as much as I thought my reality would succumb to the physical assault on my system through the stress of the grief and I wold be able to feel more normal, it isnt happening.  I can function better for hours at a  time whereas for the first several years there wasnt an hour that passed where I wasnt in crisis mode.

All I want is for my life to be shortened  Quickly, naturally so if my husband is in another form where he can embrace me again I am ready.......yesterday.

Comment by Nancy on June 17, 2018 at 6:15pm

Joe:  I'm with you on the signs.  I was positive my husband would send me signs.  I've read many books where people say it happens.  It's not a bird or a butterfly,  but they actual see and hear their loved one.  The day he passed 4 eagles circled above our house.  They went higher and higher until they were gone.  I've had nothing since that day 13 months ago. It's all so discouraging.  I keep thinking it's because he can't yet.  ??

Comment by Geri on June 17, 2018 at 3:09pm

I miss my love so much and keep waiting for signs that he is still with with me. Would anyone like to share their stories of signs that their loved one is sending them.

I need some hope.

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 17, 2018 at 11:37am

Hi Morgan

You and I are in the same boat and we both wish it sink with us on it.

Comment by morgan on June 16, 2018 at 11:54pm

Its been a long long road since the day my husband died.   I cannot lie.  This is not getting any easier.  Instead of being in such a fog about what to do next I have more clarity as to what things are going to be like and I dont like or want to live like this.  I seem to be disregarding the approved version of living with grief to seeking a means of eliminating the grief in whatever way I can.  Note: nothing is totally off the table.  

I keep hoping it doesnt come to that.  That something will release me from the constant battering of my mind and heart.  That my body will just give it up.  I know I am not going to be here with my husband. Its not going to happen.  So in order to try to be with him what choice is there??  I know up until now I have taken the beating....the battering.......the constant coping in the hopes some small amount of kindness will be shown to me by the forces of the universe.  And each time I cave to another welling of the memories of the past I cry that I just cannot take this anymore.  That anything is better than this.....this unwillingness to live this aloneness, this missing of spirit contained in that body......

This bodily manifestation must be more ........it must exist in a place and time where I belong.  

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 16, 2018 at 1:13pm

AnneJ

Thanks for your kindness, I will be so glad when this pain ends and join my Husband in paradise.

Comment by Nancy on June 14, 2018 at 6:35pm

Everything posted today rings so true for me too.  It helps that others truly understand.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 14, 2018 at 6:31pm

Thank you Geraldine, Linda, and Marita,

Our grief for our departed soulmate will never end; we will mourn and grieve the loss of the love of our life for the rest of our lives. As you all put it, our grief will only end when someday we are finally reunited with our love.

Linda, very nicely expressed. It says it all about us the the ones who are living through a lifeless and meaningless life versus the rest of the world who has no experience or understanding about our deep sense of loss and unbearable sorrow.

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 14, 2018 at 1:59pm

Comment by Marita on June 14, 2018 at 10:59am

Dear Linda, Trina, Morgan, Geraldine

We have lost our soul mates and our grief journey will end only when we are reunited with them. 

 

Members (387)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Wednesday
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service