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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 751
Latest Activity: Aug 13, 2023

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Missing my identity 2 Replies

Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.

i need my mom

Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.

I want my Mommy 1 Reply

Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.

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Comment by Theresa on June 19, 2018 at 9:53am

Happy birthday Bluebells mom!  Bluebell my moms birthday is this month also on the 29th she would’ve been 95 she drove went to church every day and had more energy than I ever will.  I hope God is resting her soul And all the souls  of our deceased loved ones for everyone here

Comment by Avi on June 19, 2018 at 9:23am

Happy Birthday Aunty Ji (bluebell's mother)

Comment by BLUEBELL on June 19, 2018 at 9:11am

Tears are in my eyes for both of you Avi and Theresa. I just cannot even imagine how intense the panic and maybe fear must have been.

Today would have been my Mom's 100th birthday. I wish she was here so we could celebrate it with her. I and my Mom were blessed that she lived to the age of 98, I know that. But I still miss her just the same. 

Though she had her health problems at age 98, she still had her wits and was able to walk with a walker. She was able to get in and out of the car to be taken out to lunch or what ever else she wanted to do, such as get her hair done every week.

Happy Birthday Mom. I love and miss you.

PS: I still laugh at Brett's description of me :)

Comment by Avi on June 19, 2018 at 7:19am

I still get horrified when I remember the last few moments of my mother in ICU. I was literally numb and could not do much other than let the doctors go their best. I guess panic does not produce the best out of us. 

Comment by Theresa on June 19, 2018 at 5:40am

That's wonderful Bluebell, don't worry he was watching..

Brett that was a good one!

Sometimes I wonder how come every night when I drive home from work I cry and say mom  I sure hope you can hear me, I tell her I don't know if I can wait to see her again to get the one answer I need, why did you go in cardiac arrest? What happened?  

My mind makes up many reasons, a blockage, a rupture of her Aortic Aneurysm, her blood pressure, a massive heart attack,  they are the only ones I can even think of, but then sometimes I say I bet it was something else.......

The question is like a dark cloud in my mind that hangs around.  I just wanted to grant one request to my 70 year old brother not to do an autopsy because he says it was "just mom's time".  Ugh what, but I live with that question in my mind what was it?

How bad is this when I was pulling in the hospital, and they called me to say your mom is in full cardiac arrest do you want us to do CPR, I was like of course yes, but my mind went blank thinking she had a mild heart attack, not that her heart stopped, it was like my mind was saying what, cardiac arrest what is that, it was like I was coming out of my body and there was two of me one couldn't move the other had to get by the people that were trying to keep me from getting her bedside, I sat down with some lady on a couch in a room for one minute I called my brother and then got up threw the phone at her and said I need to get to my mom and I pushed by her and ran straight and how I got to the right bed is unknown to me, I was looking at her like come on mom wake up they are doing cpr why aren't you breathing?, from that point on it was all downhill...I was numb...

This is what I think about every day, and at night when I get in bed I cry and say I'm ok mom.

Comment by BLUEBELL on June 19, 2018 at 3:15am

"I saw you as having blue hair and cat glasses."

Hahahaha! That is so funny! I chose the name Bluebell for this group because I like flowers.

 I can honestly say the hair color in the video is mine and does not come from a bottle. My sister, on the other hand, was born a blonde. She inherited the gene for it from a relative on my Mom's side. My parents both had dark hair as do my 3 brothers.

Take care Brett.

Blue haired Bluebell with cat glasses. Hahahaha ;)

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 18, 2018 at 10:44pm

Bluebell, it was nice to put a face to a name. I always have these pre conceived notions of what I think people will look like. With you, it's the name, I saw you as having blue hair and cat glasses. I was wrong on this one. 

Comment by BLUEBELL on June 18, 2018 at 7:57pm

The blond women I was hugging afterwards was my sister.

Bluebell

Comment by BLUEBELL on June 18, 2018 at 7:56pm

Avi,

I was really scared to get up there, but I am glad I did. Not everyone here has this type of Celebration of Life. But my sister's husband was very involved in the well being of his neighborhood and also loved a good get together at his home and a block party with the neighbors. So did my sister. He would have loved it. I like to think he was watching and was as present there as much he was allowed to be.

Bluebell

Comment by Avi on June 18, 2018 at 2:47am

Brett, amazing words. It helped me a lot. 

Bluebell, saw your video and felt amazing. It is great that you have such celebration of life. It is not very common in India. 

 

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