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Comment by BLUEBELL on May 18, 2018 at 2:48am

Thank you for answering Brett.

Yes. It is horrible. Not only are my emotions all over the place and it is hard to focus, I am also dizzy, nauseated, shake, feel fatigued, easily get cold and I cry. I tried the antidepressant and then it shot my anxiety through the roof. Consequently, instead of tapering slowly like is recommended, I had to cut the dose in half. I cannot drive. I cannot work. It is hard to think clearly. I am missing a get together with my sister and friends tomorrow to celebrate my birthday and to honor our Mothers for Mother'd day. A friend whom I invited to go with me is mad at me because I had to cancel  and I could not tell her the real reason why. As much as I love her, she is the type of person that would never understand. Thank goodness my sister does understand and believes me when I told her why I had to cancel and how bad I felt. I do have a dear good friend that is helping take care of my cats at my second residence because I can not get there in my car safely. A med similar to Klonipin is helping me with the shakes when they get particularly bad, but it puts me to sleep. When I wake up, I feel disoriented and just shuffle around the house for a bit, feeling lost. Yes, it is hard to go through this along with everything else. But I am assured by the doctor that it will get better after 1-2 weeks. I hope so. 

Crystal, thank you for your prayers. I am glad you got to see your Mom in your dreams, but sorry part of it was reliving her final breaths. I still think and visualize my Mom's last few breaths while I am awake. But they do not come as frequently and I am learning to push them away.

Thank God I have my little dog who accepts me and shows his love for me no matter what state of mind I am in or how bad I feel physically.

Thank God for good friends who are willing to help me while I get through this.

Thank God for this group who care about each other and support one another the best that they can while they are going through missing their Moms

For those who are on or considering an antidepressant or are currently on one, what I am going through does not happen to everyone, or if it does, the intensity varies from person to person.

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 18, 2018 at 12:01am

Bluebell, I am familiar with discontinuation syndrome. I have experienced it before and it's horrible. Klonopin helped me greatly.

I am so sorry. You are experiencing enough without having to go through this, too. We take antidepressants to try and cope, and sometimes they just make the problem worse. I had a very short run in with Effexor. It was horrible. 

Comment by Crystal K on May 17, 2018 at 7:58pm

Bluebell I am praying for you.   We survived mother's day. 

Last night was pretty bad for me. I was feeling anxious all day and cried myself to sleep.  A bit glad though cause I got to see my mom, even if it was just in my dreams, I felt so close to her. It was a weird dream split into two. One of us at the beach and the next was reliving watching her take her last breaths of life.   Im just so tired of feeling the guilt and the sadness... I miss her terribly and I've realized my feelings of resentment towards some people in my life still lingers. 

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 17, 2018 at 5:00pm

I am okay, not great, but okay. 

Bluebell

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 17, 2018 at 11:56am

To put it out there, I am going through what is called discontinuation syndrome from an antidepressant I was not tolerating. I am one of those that this syndrome is particularly bad. You can look up discontinuation syndrome from an antidepressant if you want more information.

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 17, 2018 at 10:46am

I never saw that either. I wish that I had.

Comment by Sherri on May 17, 2018 at 9:31am

Good Morning Bluebell

I'm sorry I never saw this it I'm glad your okay

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 17, 2018 at 9:23am

My post last night in the LASTEST ACTIVITY around 2-2:30 AM

"is anybody out there? I am feeling pretty bad and alone."

It was very disappointing not to get an answer, but I survived.

Bluebell

Comment by Sherri on May 15, 2018 at 6:16am

Thanks Brett I'll try it see if it helps

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 14, 2018 at 11:42pm

Sherri, I just went to another therapist. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right fit. Oddly enough, I like my first therapist a lot as a person, and she and I have remained friends.

I am sorry to hear about your insomnia. I can handle just about anything if I have a good night's sleep. I am a Nutritionist and I have been able to find a nutritional equivalent to a lot of medications. Not with insomnia or depression though. I do believe that magnesium is a big help with insomnia. It relaxes the body if not the mind. 

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