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Comment by dream moon JO B on January 18, 2018 at 7:59am

its bean nealy 6 yrs for me 

it still can be bad lk mad

sum days it can still me coz dad is no longr hear i miss him

sorry for yore loss jenfer i am 

Comment by Gilda on January 18, 2018 at 6:18am

Dear Jennifer, I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish you peace and comfort.  Losing a beloved parent is one of the hardest things in life, especially after losing your children's dad. A friend of mine who also lost her father was reading the New York Times where they had a story about grief.  There is no "magic" cure for grief. Two authors of books on grief basically said there is no right way or wrong way to grieve and there is no timeline for grief either.   They recommended doing what works to make you feel better and stop those things that don't. It is important to allow yourself to tell your story over and over until you can accept your loss. Many relatives, friends and acquaintances aren't comfortable talking about sadness, which is why it is often necessary to seek help from online grief forums, grief counsellors and grief support groups.  Most people who aren't currently in grief or who are in denial will tell you to get over it.  Not everyone is as sensitive or bonded to their father the way we were.  The more people tell you to get over it, the harder you will hang onto it.  You really need to get your feelings and memories about this devastating experience out, over and over, until you come to terms with your grief. 

You will never be completely over it, but you will learn how to live with your grief. You will be happy again, over time, but not in the same way.  Death is a natural part of life, so whoever designed our brains has included everything we need to cope with death (even our own).  We just need to believe that we will get through our grief and that we will be stronger and wiser as a result of our suffering.

Unfortunately, grief is the price of love.  The more we loved someone and interacted with them the harder it is to let them go, but this is something practically every human being has to deal with at some point.  The only alternative is not to love anyone at all, but as Leonardo da Vinci once said, "A life without love is no life at all."

Comment by Jennifer on January 18, 2018 at 1:27am

hello, thank you all for being here. my Father passed away in November this past year. I haven't stopped crying or hoping he will call and tell me this has all been a mistake. His death was very sudden and very unexpected. Several years ago my children lost their Dad to cancer. That was very hard on our family, but we coped somehow. This has been so sudden I'm not sure how to process or deal? I'm just sad and in shock. I don't know what else to say except I feel like a part of me died that day also. I don't know how to get through this.............thanks for reading/listening/whatever..........i'm trying to make an effort. Because I know I can't just let this depression ruin my life. My dad would not want that for me. I don't want that for myself.

Comment by Gilda on January 16, 2018 at 5:46pm

I know how you feel. Seeing my dad in dreams is a great comfort to me, too.

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 16, 2018 at 12:18pm

missin dad lk crazzzy i am 

grt wen i sea him in dreams 

Comment by Gilda on January 16, 2018 at 5:54am

How is everyone doing? It's been three years since my dad died. I still miss him every day. I still dream about him and wish I could turn back time. There isn't much left that I haven't said about him on this and other forums, but I still have the need to talk about him, to confirm that he existed and that he meant more to me than anyone I ever knew and loved. It's terrible the way death has ruined my life, by taking away my favorite people. I was his only child, and he never remarried, so even though many people liked him, nobody else misses him as much as I do. However, he had one friend from work who was younger than him, and even tbough they didn't see each other that often after my dad retired, he always called him on his birthday. Now he calls me on my dad's birthday which is very sweet of him. And yet, he doesn't seem like the type of person who would do that. I think my dad must have made a big impact on his life, since he got to see him every day at work. My own relatives don't call me on my dad's birthday, even though they claimed they loved him.

Well, I wish everyone the best as we struggle along the sad, lonely road of grief.

Comment by dream moon JO B on December 28, 2017 at 2:20am

ye me 2 

Comment by Gilda on December 28, 2017 at 2:14am

Thank you, JO B, for your understanding. I hope the New Year will be better than the last one for both of us.

Comment by dream moon JO B on December 28, 2017 at 1:09am

yep no fealin i do gilda i do

Comment by Gilda on December 27, 2017 at 6:59am

This is the third anniversary of my dad's death. I think about him every day. I miss him so much, because he was the nicest man I ever met. Life will never be as happy without him, unless someone just as wonderful comes into my life, but I doubt it, because he was a man of his time, and times have changed.

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