Another year is here and we still have no sons....Life is so changed. My love and thoughts. I could not log on daily, it became overwhelming for my mind.
Teresa D. I read your profile info, that's how me and my son were, very close and we talked about everything.
Thank you for being here for me.
My son got cremated and hopefully gets lay down at the cemetery latest next week, so he can rest in peace. Took 6 weeks, cause of some paperwork (german bureaucracy ), the military has to bring the urn here and the investigation is still going on.
at the time I felt unfairly attacked and tried to explain myself and my fear and anguish over the difficulties my sons had to face and the apprehension that I would lose them at a young age... and I was grieving for my granddaughters too... but even that horrible grief that immobilized me for at least a year... I carried around a baby doll, wrote poetry to my granddaughters ... did not function well AT ALL... and yet it was just NOT the same... horrible as it was and IS to have lost my sweet granddaughters... it's NOT THE SAME...
I wish with ALL MY HEART that I had only NEARLY lost my son.... and its just too simplistic to say 'grief is grief'.... we don't negate your grief... so please don't trivialize what we are trying to tell you... we don't want to hurt you any more than you are hurting.... I once was attacked in another grief room... years ago after I lost my granddaughters... because I said I was in a sense grieving for my two totally disabled sons because they seemed to be dying a little at a time... at the time I didn't understand the fury that descended upon me for saying that... now I do... unfortunately...
I think ZELL should stop this ... nobody is trying to say you aren't grieving for your mate... and nobody is saying it isn't horrible... personally I don't know what its like and PLEASE GOD I never will because I truly think I would lose my mind... and my husband has health issues.. so I DO empathize with your loss Zell.... but you did not lose a child... so please don't compare ... you don't know it because you haven't been there but you just CAN'T compare any other grief than that of a grieving parent... not that we are saying we are in some sort of sick race to prove who is suffering the most or anything.. its just DIFFERENT in a horrible way you can't understand...
Teresa-I have wondered the same thing regarding Zell. Losing a child doesnot involve the same emotions, grief, heartbreak and other feelings as losing a spouse or partner. Not that it is not traumatic to them; but it is nothing like a mother's grief. Hugs
Hi Teressa, I am so sorry for the loss of your son Michael. I have no answers for you on why this sadness happened in your life. I search for answers too. This is probably the most difficult circumstance I ever had to deal with, and all I know is I need to be strong for my 12 year old that he will not loose his Mother too. Thank you for your friend request, and hope that our friendship will give you some needed support.
Dear Teresa, thank you for your kind comment about my daughter. First let me say "I am so sorry for your loss". I can't image your pain or hurt has gotten any better. I send you a tight hug from across the miles.
As I was reading your story about your son. I realized we share the same experience. Amber's accident was quite severe that an open casket was not possible. And I too was not able to see her one last time or say "Goodbye". Our last words to each other was "I love you" on June 15, 2014 at 5:00 pm. And she died that same night just after midnight June 16, 2014, while driving home from attending the Spurs final game.
You and I are left without "closure", that most people have. That one last viewing. And since we did not see them; it makes it HARDER to believe they are actually gone. It just left us what I feel as "paralyzed". We can't move from here. All we were left with was our last conversation with them. "Paralyzed". I think that's why I am having such a hard time not being able to really cry for her. I feel she's still in her home in San Antonio and I'm here in our home town (3 hours away). It just doesn't seem real. i just can't beleive she's gone. I'm terrified of the intense pain when the shock does wear off. Which I think is starting to happen. Please know my heart aches for you and I feel exactly how you felt and feel still today. All my love, Rachel
Hi Teresa, I'm so so sorry for your loss. My son died at age 31 on June 9, 2014. He was born on September 14, 1982 and he was the light of my life. I am still in shock and disbelief over his sudden passing. My Michael had struggled for a period of time with drugs but for the last 8 months was turning his life around. He was a talented graphic designer and animator for big companies like HBO, Showtime, A&E, History channel and other popular shows. Michael's dad had passed away and I was re-married to a wonderful man with a daughter 10 years younger. They got along so well; I truly felt we had the perfect family......until June 9th. Evidently Michael and his girlfriend chose to pick up drugs again and they never woke up. The news just rocked my world. I trying to breathe -one breath at a time. Your story truly resonated with me and I wanted to reach out. I too didn't get to see Michael however i'm ok with that - I want to remember him full of life. It helps me keep him alive in my mind. I wish you peace and pleased keep in touch - I need the support desperately. Hugs - Gale
I was reading your profile and noticed our sons were close in age, Jesse born in August 2, 1984 and he passed on October 10, 2012...I too was so close with my son, there was nothing I could not share with him...I am missing my best friend...
You are about the same time frame in this journey of loss...this is just so hard...
I feel the same way Teresa D. Everyone has problems. Everyone still have their son and I don't have my son. I was not there when my son needed me the most. I feel like I failed him. I just look at his pictures and sit. I just stare and stare.
You can talk to a group of your friends or individuals, when you use the message or email on www.onlinegriefsupport.com
First approve someone as your friend and then at the top left of their page, under their name, there will be an email icon and the words "Send Message". If you click on that you will find yourself in your email. This is private between you and the other person for even a group oooof your friends that you pick from the drop down menu.
Of course you can ask for our personal email - I will only give it out with-in the private email.
You can read all comments and answer to the individual email and your words etc are private.
Dear Teresa, Wow that a very tough story. I talked to Matthew the night before he was rushed to the hospital. He was happy he'd found a job, little did I know. He was with a woman whom he was going, to ask to marry him the next morning before she drop him at work. For the first time in years I heard a sparkle in him. He told me mom your my rock now, I love you so much mom he told me, and my son didn't pass a hour later. However 22 Hours later he was in ICU with tube's in mouth and nose and they were telling me all his organs were shutting down. So I can't image losing him a hour after we talked .
I hope I didn't offend you with my post to you but thanks for answering mine and please remember I knew and don't want step on anyone toe's Judy Edwards
Teresa, thinking of you.. was reading some of the things you wrote.. many times shreyas's office friends also tell me what funny things would transpire and how they always feel. Last Dec 23rd some of them went to the same road n put some flowers there.. all very heartrending ..but hang in there... u r not alone... whenever u need to u can email me at vasanti.s@gmail.com too..love to u.
Dear Teresa, I am glad we are friends. I lost my son and only child almost 8 months ago. It is such a tough path we are on and am so grateful to have this group. Sending you love and prayers to get through this pain.
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Late February is a challenging time of year for me. Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly. This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
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Another year is here and we still have no sons....Life is so changed. My love and thoughts. I could not log on daily, it became overwhelming for my mind.
I was told left my son rest and he is at peace.
I was angry at the people that made that statement, how can my son be peace and someone killed him and I don't fight for answers.
How do I live with myself?
How?
Teresa D. I read your profile info, that's how me and my son were, very close and we talked about everything.
Thank you for being here for me.
My son got cremated and hopefully gets lay down at the cemetery latest next week, so he can rest in peace. Took 6 weeks, cause of some paperwork (german bureaucracy ), the military has to bring the urn here and the investigation is still going on.
Hugs to you
I'm such a DITZ
now I think I have these comments in the wrong place... sorry Teresa I meant these for Zell...
at the time I felt unfairly attacked and tried to explain myself and my fear and anguish over the difficulties my sons had to face and the apprehension that I would lose them at a young age... and I was grieving for my granddaughters too... but even that horrible grief that immobilized me for at least a year... I carried around a baby doll, wrote poetry to my granddaughters ... did not function well AT ALL... and yet it was just NOT the same... horrible as it was and IS to have lost my sweet granddaughters... it's NOT THE SAME...
I wish with ALL MY HEART that I had only NEARLY lost my son.... and its just too simplistic to say 'grief is grief'.... we don't negate your grief... so please don't trivialize what we are trying to tell you... we don't want to hurt you any more than you are hurting.... I once was attacked in another grief room... years ago after I lost my granddaughters... because I said I was in a sense grieving for my two totally disabled sons because they seemed to be dying a little at a time... at the time I didn't understand the fury that descended upon me for saying that... now I do... unfortunately...
I think ZELL should stop this ... nobody is trying to say you aren't grieving for your mate... and nobody is saying it isn't horrible... personally I don't know what its like and PLEASE GOD I never will because I truly think I would lose my mind... and my husband has health issues.. so I DO empathize with your loss Zell.... but you did not lose a child... so please don't compare ... you don't know it because you haven't been there but you just CAN'T compare any other grief than that of a grieving parent... not that we are saying we are in some sort of sick race to prove who is suffering the most or anything.. its just DIFFERENT in a horrible way you can't understand...
Hi Teressa, I am so sorry for the loss of your son Michael. I have no answers for you on why this sadness happened in your life. I search for answers too. This is probably the most difficult circumstance I ever had to deal with, and all I know is I need to be strong for my 12 year old that he will not loose his Mother too. Thank you for your friend request, and hope that our friendship will give you some needed support.
As I was reading your story about your son. I realized we share the same experience. Amber's accident was quite severe that an open casket was not possible. And I too was not able to see her one last time or say "Goodbye". Our last words to each other was "I love you" on June 15, 2014 at 5:00 pm. And she died that same night just after midnight June 16, 2014, while driving home from attending the Spurs final game.
You and I are left without "closure", that most people have. That one last viewing. And since we did not see them; it makes it HARDER to believe they are actually gone. It just left us what I feel as "paralyzed". We can't move from here. All we were left with was our last conversation with them. "Paralyzed". I think that's why I am having such a hard time not being able to really cry for her. I feel she's still in her home in San Antonio and I'm here in our home town (3 hours away). It just doesn't seem real. i just can't beleive she's gone. I'm terrified of the intense pain when the shock does wear off. Which I think is starting to happen. Please know my heart aches for you and I feel exactly how you felt and feel still today. All my love, Rachel
Hi Teresa, I'm so so sorry for your loss. My son died at age 31 on June 9, 2014. He was born on September 14, 1982 and he was the light of my life. I am still in shock and disbelief over his sudden passing. My Michael had struggled for a period of time with drugs but for the last 8 months was turning his life around. He was a talented graphic designer and animator for big companies like HBO, Showtime, A&E, History channel and other popular shows. Michael's dad had passed away and I was re-married to a wonderful man with a daughter 10 years younger. They got along so well; I truly felt we had the perfect family......until June 9th. Evidently Michael and his girlfriend chose to pick up drugs again and they never woke up. The news just rocked my world. I trying to breathe -one breath at a time. Your story truly resonated with me and I wanted to reach out. I too didn't get to see Michael however i'm ok with that - I want to remember him full of life. It helps me keep him alive in my mind. I wish you peace and pleased keep in touch - I need the support desperately. Hugs - Gale
I was reading your profile and noticed our sons were close in age, Jesse born in August 2, 1984 and he passed on October 10, 2012...I too was so close with my son, there was nothing I could not share with him...I am missing my best friend...
You are about the same time frame in this journey of loss...this is just so hard...
Thank you for sharing Michael and his food order. I smiled. I wished I was on the phone with my son too.........Lord, Please have mercy on us.
Bern
I feel the same way Teresa D. Everyone has problems. Everyone still have their son and I don't have my son. I was not there when my son needed me the most. I feel like I failed him. I just look at his pictures and sit. I just stare and stare.
Teresa,
You can talk to a group of your friends or individuals, when you use the message or email on www.onlinegriefsupport.com
First approve someone as your friend and then at the top left of their page, under their name, there will be an email icon and the words "Send Message". If you click on that you will find yourself in your email. This is private between you and the other person for even a group oooof your friends that you pick from the drop down menu.
Of course you can ask for our personal email - I will only give it out with-in the private email.
You can read all comments and answer to the individual email and your words etc are private.
Trying to be helpful,
Brenda
Dear Teresa, Wow that a very tough story. I talked to Matthew the night before he was rushed to the hospital. He was happy he'd found a job, little did I know. He was with a woman whom he was going, to ask to marry him the next morning before she drop him at work. For the first time in years I heard a sparkle in him. He told me mom your my rock now, I love you so much mom he told me, and my son didn't pass a hour later. However 22 Hours later he was in ICU with tube's in mouth and nose and they were telling me all his organs were shutting down. So I can't image losing him a hour after we talked .
I hope I didn't offend you with my post to you but thanks for answering mine and please remember I knew and don't want step on anyone toe's Judy Edwards
Teresa, thinking of you.. was reading some of the things you wrote.. many times shreyas's office friends also tell me what funny things would transpire and how they always feel. Last Dec 23rd some of them went to the same road n put some flowers there.. all very heartrending ..but hang in there... u r not alone... whenever u need to u can email me at vasanti.s@gmail.com too..love to u.
Dear Teresa, I am glad we are friends. I lost my son and only child almost 8 months ago. It is such a tough path we are on and am so grateful to have this group. Sending you love and prayers to get through this pain.
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