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Comment by Theresa on November 18, 2017 at 8:42pm

Luisa and Sherri
Thank you so much it’s really nice to know that there is other people that understand how you feel one of my customers today told me it took her five years to get over her mother I wanted to fall on the floor I thought oh my God please five years don’t know if you really ever do get over it it’ll always be there that empty feeling that person that was a major part of your life that you loved unconditionally. Holidays are rough time of the year December is even worse because of losing my dad on the 14th mom on the 19th and my grandmother on the 24th I was very young five years old when my grandmother passed away I don’t remember when my dad died 18 years ago and this will be two years from my mom actually tomorrow is going to mark the 11th month one year and 11 months and I must say I miss her so much as we all do

Comment by Luisa Salter on November 18, 2017 at 6:42pm

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to say, I appreciate hearing people's thoughts on the holidays. It's been helpful hearing the ways in which some group members have honored their Mom's in the past, or plan to honor their Moms this year. I honestly don't have a plan other than to have a tree and to try to do Christmas as usual with my daughter. I have all of my Mom's Christmas ornaments and things in my garage, and part of me doesn't want to get any of it out. I'm a little scared of the feelings that will come up and I don't want Christmas to be sad, especially for my daughter. But, then I think that Mom might want for me to get her Christmas things out this year. I have some guilt around the fact that last year, I just brought a couple of Mom's Christmas boxes to her at her apartment, but there was one certain box with certain ornaments that she wanted to decorate her tree with, but I never did bring the right box. I remember feeling strained last year, trying to do my own Christmas routine and also trying to make my Mom's special. We did get her a little tree and she loved that. Everything was somewhat shadowed by the fact that I knew that this was Mom's last Christmas. 

Theresa, I am thinking of you and I hope that your day did get better after your got to work this morning. Work is really a distraction for me, often it works well to get my mind off of things. 

Hope everyone is hanging in there - Luisa

Comment by Sherri on November 18, 2017 at 9:08am

I hear you Theresa some days are really tough I have found take one moment at a time and it seams to help that day. Hugs

Comment by Theresa on November 18, 2017 at 9:03am

Today I am very anxious and feel like crying, some days it just hits me harder than others, I guess thats how it will be.

I really don't care much for the holidays, but I get through them.

I am getting ready to go in to work hopefully that will take my mind off of things.

Have a good day everyone

Comment by Lisa Green on November 15, 2017 at 8:44am

As the holidays approach, I think we all cringe a little knowing we have to go through them without our moms. Last year, was the first Thanksgiving and Christmas for me without Mom. My sister and I found a way to keep Mom's traditions and spirit with us by making some of the dishes she always made on holidays. Mom also really liked the blueberry candles that Bob Evans used to sell in their gift shops during the holidays so I bought one last year and I only burn it on holidays in memory of my mom. The smell warms my heart. It will never be easy to live without my mom but I'm so thankful to have had her unconditional love and her effort to always make holidays and birthdays as special as she could for me and my siblings. Because of what she taught me, I am able to do the same for my family and pass down the feeling of special days to my own kids. To me, its a small way to keep my mom alive in this world. 

Comment by Janie m Snitko on November 14, 2017 at 9:43pm

Hi everyone it has been awhile since I posted. The holidays are coming and my Mom loved them! We always had dinners at her home until she was unable. The tradition was passed on to me but this year my husband and I are going away. My children and grandchildren both understand. I will eventually do the tradition again. I need peace and rest during this season . I have been in a funk on and off but right now I am doing well. I miss my Mom so much but I know she watches over me. I hope everybody's holidays go well. Happy holidays .      Janie

Comment by Theresa on November 14, 2017 at 7:32pm

Bluebell I think that is a wonderful idea :)

Comment by Crystal K on November 14, 2017 at 2:48pm

Hi guys, haven't posted in awhile, although I have been reading on how you all are doing.   Its now four months since my mom died. Its crazy to think that she isn't here anymore.   I understand how you feel Luisa and Sherry about not being able to go through her stuff.   I have all her things that we kept hidden away in my closet. I have her doctor's checklist still posted on my wall and I can't seem to throw it away. This little piece of paper that holds so much meaning to me. I've been able to smile more the past couple of weeks without feeling guilty.  Don't know if I'm moving forward or I'm just locking the pain away in the back of my mind  On the nights I dream of her I wake up sobbing knowing it was just a dream. The enormous guilt I felt in the first few weeks are slowly subduing but still catch myself cursing the universe for not allowing her to be here to enjoy the simplest pleasures. 

It's definitely hard, especially with the holidays coming up. Not looking forward to thanksgiving cause we always had thanksgiving at her house.  That's another thing too. Hate visiting her home cause of all the memories it brings up.  I hope everyone is okay this holiday season.  I'm here for you all if you guys need to talk. I'm sure I will.

Comment by BLUEBELL on November 14, 2017 at 8:58am

I think my sister and I have decided to have Christmas as usual at my Mom's house. We will put up the Christmas tree she liked and put all the cat ornaments she has collected over the years. At dinner, I would like to set a place for her at the table in her honor. I might even give her a gift. By doing these things, to me it is saying  she will always be in our lives even if she is no longer physically present.

Bluebell

Comment by Sherri on November 14, 2017 at 8:29am

Thanks everyone I am going to take your advise and try to talk to him I know its hard but he is a good man and he loved my mom so much and made her so happy which was very nice as I know my parents divorce was a very awful battle my mom fought and it killed me to see her so hurt. I just wanted to say I know the holidays are tough as I see Thanksgiving is coming up for you I am Canadian so I had mine already and it was hard to see my brother and me both sit at the table and our minds just wonder as she not there but I know we both just pushed through it together this made it a bit okay we changed things up a bit to help with that so we can make thing a bit easier but just know I am thinking of you guys hugs

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