Information

Lost My Spouse...

Members: 387
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Discussion Forum

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 6 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Martha Washburn Sep 22, 2022.

Loss of spouse… 3 Replies

For 40+ years we were together…married 39 years….We were to celebrate our 40th anniversary…Nobody who hasn’t been married, and lost a spouse could possibly understand….even though he was into many…Continue

Started by Susan B. Last reply by Connie Sep 1, 2022.

Today is the anniversary of my wedding day 2 Replies

I got married on May 1, 1992 and lost my husband on June 30, 2017. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life and if I had one wish, it would be to go back and live that day over. It has been…Continue

Started by Carol Klotz. Last reply by Carol Klotz May 3, 2020.

Lost my light in the darkness 2 Replies

I lost my wife on the 25 of March after returning from my Dads funeral. She is everything to me. No matter how bad it got, no matter how much my PTSD drug me down, She has been my light in the…Continue

Started by Shane Hughes. Last reply by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Lost My Spouse... to add comments!

Comment by Bruce Armstrong on September 24, 2017 at 6:59pm

So lonely in the evening house is empty nobody here -been 3 months after 54 years with her I miss her and can't seem to stop crying need that companion and love close

Comment by bluebird on September 23, 2017 at 3:54pm

Thank you, Trina and everyone.

Comment by Shelley Sawhook on September 23, 2017 at 3:32pm

I think I may be losing my mind.  Last year at this time I was living with my sweet, wonderful, considerate husband and my youngest child.  Now I live alone.  I try to occupy myself with my animals and am working on volunteering somewhere, but I am disabled and doing things on my own are so hard.  I sit here and wait for my husband to come home from work. 

He was diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma January 2016.  The tumors were almost gone by October of 2016 and we went on a whole family vacation to celebrate.  At the end of December he had a heart attack, on our youngest daughter's 18th birthday.  It seemed minor and he joked going into surgery but he never woke up.  He was in a coma for 10 days before I had to take him off of life support.

I have to live with turning him off, losing the love of my life (people we know called it a fairy tale), moving and my daughter moving out in just a few months.  Mostly I am numb.  

Comment by Linda Engberg on September 23, 2017 at 3:22pm

Bluebird and Trina,

After 4 years waking up every morning is the worst part of my day.

Comment by Linda Engberg on September 23, 2017 at 3:17pm

Bluebird,

No matter how many years go by, I am on Number 4, I will never happy again until I join him. he was my true soulmate and Husband.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on September 23, 2017 at 3:06am

Dear bluebird,

There are no words to offer you as you mark the fifth anniversary of your beloved husband's passing. I can only say that I feel deeply for you, and my heart aches at your pain. I know the feeling you are describing only too well. For me too, somehow the night is more bearable (I talk to Joseph when I am in bed and somehow I can feel him there in bed with me), but getting up to face the new day is brutal. Every morning (very late for me) as I wake up, I have to nerve myself to face yet another empty, purposeless day without the love of my life. So I can relate to exactly what you are saying. Like I said, apart from saying that I feel deep empathy for you, there are no other words to say which might bring you a little bit of comfort. Just know that I am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

Big, big hug, Trina

Comment by Nancy on September 22, 2017 at 10:16pm
Exactly bluebird.
Comment by bluebird on September 22, 2017 at 10:06pm

I have to say, Nancy, I envy you the 43 years. My husband and I were together for nearly 13 years, but married for only one week when he died (massive, unexpected heart attack).  But no matter how long a couple is together, when they are truly in love the pain is horrific when one dies.

Comment by Nancy on September 22, 2017 at 10:04pm
I'm exactly where you are bluebird. Only it's only been 4 months. We were married 43 years. Got married young. I know no other life.
Comment by bluebird on September 22, 2017 at 9:31pm

Today marks exactly five years since my husband died. 

I still wish I had died when he did. For me, it's not the nights that are the worst part, it's the mornings.  Of course I do miss him at night -- I miss cuddling with him, I miss making love with him, I even miss his snoring.  But I just watch tv and/or muck around on the computer until I can't keep my eyes open anymore (with the assistance of Benadryl or a sleeping pill), and then I'm asleep for a little while. But when I wake up in the morning, very often I wake up with a start, with my heart racing, hearing myself moaning. I wake up and reality comes rushing in -- my beloved husband is dead and I don't know if he still exists and if I will ever see him again. Plus all the other shit in my life.  It's like I have to steel myself to even drag my ass out of bed to get ready and go to work or whatever.

I still don't believe this is real, I don't believe that this is my life. This will never be real to me, in a very literal sense -- it is too horrific to be real. I feel as though I am stuck in a nightmare, in some fucked up alternate reality (like the "Silent Hill" movies, if you're familiar with those). 

I love and miss my husband SO fucking much, and nothing will be right unless/until we are together again.

 

Members (387)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service