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Comment by Theresa on September 17, 2017 at 10:57am

Luisa I am so sorry for your loss I know exactly how you feel with your mother elderly or ill my thoughts and prayers are with you

Comment by Luisa Salter on September 17, 2017 at 10:09am

Theresa Weekends are hard for me too, for the past year I spent a lot of time at my Mom's on weekends. It helps me to keep busy also but my daughter goes to her Dad's and when I'm home alone it's the hardest. I'm going to make myself get out and go for a run (if it's not too smoky - I live in Oregon and the smoke in the air here has been bad. Later I'm supposed to meet up with a friend at Mom's apartment to take some of Mom's things to donate, possibly do some packing. My Mom passed August 30th and we need to get her apt empty by the end of Sept. Going through and packing Mom's things is just so hard.

Comment by Theresa on September 17, 2017 at 9:43am

Sundays are always hard for me because the day we used to go to my moms but I've been trying to keep busy I worked yesterday today I'm cleaning out my closet every day it's still hard I think about her and think about how much I miss her and then I think about how much she would want me to keep going. I just miss her so much she was my mom my best friend I talk to her about everything every day 10 times a day I just feel lost sometimes

Comment by BLUEBELL on September 17, 2017 at 9:12am

It is another day and I am doing okay so far. How is everybody else?

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on September 12, 2017 at 10:05pm

My mom did the same thing on many occasions. My career was with American Airlines. I often times would not get home till around 4:00 am. There were several times when my mom really needed to go to the hospital but she waited for me to get home. She had a medical alert button. All she had to do was push it. My mom was very regimented and never wanted to bother anyone. She even thought that she would be bothering the 911 people if she called. That was my mom.

I do believe your story about the dogs. They are very intuitive about things. Although, I have to admit, my dogs didn't seem to understand when my mom passed. They just curled up next to her and took a nap. I guess that is good. I am sad enough for all three of us.

Comment by Theresa on September 12, 2017 at 1:48pm

Brett my assumption is that he sensed something was wrong that night and if I knew my mom she probably up all night deciding on whether to call me or go to the hospital, but instead she waiting til morning.  She had a thing about calling people and people calling her at night with unsettling issues, because it would upset her.  I feel like I should have called her and sometimes I say gosh maybe if I would have said ok mom thats enough you have taken everything the dr told you to take and nothing is working and if I brought her to the hospital sooner.....but I will lean on my faith that it happened the was it was supposed to......

Comment by Theresa on September 12, 2017 at 1:43pm

Brett, so each Sunday when we would visit my mom we brought the dog since he's been a puppy, he is now 10, so he used to jump out of the car and run in the house looking for my mom, she loved him.

So my mom died on Saturday morning so it was the Friday night before she passed.  I got in bed and my dog gets on his bed on the floor and he usually is asleep for the night until 6am, but this night he woke up at 1am staring at us from the foot of the bed so I got up and said you need to go out, I took him and once he got outside he just stared at nothing, I was like ok thats enough, brought him in and from 1am until my mom died at 8am the next day the dog walked and paced, would lay down and jump back up, then he would go in the corner lay down and jump up, it was almost like he knew something was wrong and my mom lived 30 minutes from me.  So the next morning I got her call that she was going to the hospital and the dog was very unsettled, so I left and after she passed I called my husband and told him so he called his mom to sit with the dog until we could get back because we thought he was sick.  So when we finally did get back we said to his mom was he stirring around, she said no ever since my husband left he layed down and went to sleep.  So from that day forward when we went to her house to clean out, we bought him just to see what he would do, we pulled up in the drive and opened the door for him to jump out and that he did but just stood there next to me, I said come on boy lets go inside, we went in and he never went around looking for her like usual.  It was unbelievable when I tell people they are like come on.  I said no, this dog never ever gets up at night, it was so erie, but it never sparked something in me that maybe I should call mom, because after all I just talked to her at 9pm before bed and she was ok like any other night.  

Comment by Theresa on September 12, 2017 at 1:33pm

Bluebell, yes I'm trying to keep him lean, but labs love to eat!!!

Thank you

Comment by Brett Bowman on September 12, 2017 at 10:43am

I want to share a poem I wrote. I had gone to visit Krissy in ICU. I only visited once. I thought it might be too hard for both of us. I knew that if she saw me that she would have thought that she was coming home with me. When I saw her she was so happy. I had to leave for a few minutes to talk to the vet. When I came back, Krissy was in the back of the kennel trembling. She thought that I had left her. I loved on her but I couldn't calm her down. It reminded me so much of myself and what I was going through. This poem is from both my perspective and Krissy's.

The Trembling Dog:

Oh, mama. Why did you leave?

I am here alone. I don't know where you are.

Will you come back for me?

I don't know these people. Do they love me? Will they hurt me?

I only know home. I only know you.

My place is next to you. Sometimes I am bad but you forgive me.

Oh, mama. Why did you leave?

Is this my new home? Are these the people that I will see now?

Oh, mama. Why did you leave?

I saw you that day. You were talking to someone.

Were you talking about me? Did you know that I was there?

Did you know that I was frightened? Do you know that I am still frightened?

Oh, mama. Why did you leave?

You came to me. You called my name.

You held me close and told me that you loved me.

You told me to be good.

You left me.

Oh, mama. Why did you leave?

I trembled when you left. I was so sure that you were going to take me home.

I'm still here.

Oh, mama. Why did you leave?

Please come back, mama. I'll be good.

I'll do as I'm told.

Please, mama. Let me come home.

I can't get there by myself. I don't know the way. I would come to you if I could.

I forgive you for leaving me. Do you forgive me?

It's late now. I have to sleep. I'll dream about you mama.

Maybe tomorrow? Will you come for me?

Can I come home? This place is not mine.

My place will always be with you.

I love you, mama.

Why did you leave?

Comment by Brett Bowman on September 12, 2017 at 9:42am

Theresa, how did your dog know?

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