Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.
Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.
Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.
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Bluebell, our moms wanted all kinds of things for us. They wanted us to always eat our vegetables, to never get mixed up with bad influences, etc. Don't beat yourself up because you are grieving. You wouldn't be human if you didn't grieve. You wouldn't feel the way you do now if you didn't love your mother so incredibly much. If I had died before my mom, hopefully if I had the chance before dying, I would have said, "Please don't spend the rest of your life grieving for me." Would that have stopped her from grieving the way a mother grieves the loss of their child?
What you are feeling right now is a natural reaction to something that broke your heart. Don't feel the least bit guilty. Just take strength in knowing that you and your mom loved each other with all of your hearts. That will never die. You were so blessed to have each other. You still have each other. You can't see her or hug her but you still have her. That kind of love will never ever die.
Really rough morning. I pray for some relief. This is not what my Mom would have wanted for me.
Bluebell
Theresa, it's horrible that someone would say, "It's not the end of the world" to you. That is cold. I am so sorry.
Your mother in law... again, I am so sorry. You deserve better than that. We all do.
I hate to use the word resentment because I have enough on my plate right now. It takes energy to resent people. Negative energy. There is already too much of that in my life.
The really hard part is that I got so much unconditional love from my mother. It's hard to lose that in a split second. I lost my rock.
Where do you go after that? My family and friends already have their own families to tend to. It seems like we are given a small window to grieve. People will pat you on the back and say, "Well, she was a good woman. Take care of yourself now."
It's just not that easy.
Brett yes it can ruin relationships, I wont say who, but I was mentioning that I thought it was odd that a friend did not even call or send me a card when my mom passed, the person I was talking to said "its not the end of the world", this person should never had said that to me, because their time will come and I hold resentment towards them now.
My mother in law did not ask me once how I am doing.
I resent her too.
Love is an amazing thing. There are times when I think that my mom has all the love that I have to offer, but there is always room for one more person. Even hundreds more.
people.
My heart is also with each one of you.
Hugs and love to you all
Bluebell
One of the things that makes me feel very guilty (here) is that I do not want to discourage anyone who is making progress. I don't want to bring them down into the pit with me.
I realize that there are people who may have recently come to this board because they are hurting so badly. Others are reaching a point where they can see the light at the end of the tunnel. God Bless both groups of people.
Grief is... well, I don't want to use a bunch of curse words here. It can be so hard and it is so hard to find relief. It can be so hard to find proper support. I recently met with a therapist. She uses a technique called, "Tapping." Basically you tap your fingers on different points of your body and say affirmations to yourself. It didn't help. I kept thinking, "I need medication more that I need to tap."
After my mom died I made an appointment with a priest. He is a very good man but while I was speaking with him I could not help but notice that he kept looking at the clock that was over my head. He let me know when my time was up.
The problem is that when we are look for support we frequently rely on someone who is not experiencing grief at that time. I tell you what, all that I am experiencing right now will make me a better friend.
There are levels of grief. Grief also has ebbs and flows. You think you are making progress. The next thing you know, you are curled up on the floor, crying like a baby.
Grief will test your faith. It can ruin friendships. It can ruin a family.
My heart is with everyone here who is grieving. And I thank the Lord for those of you who can see the light at the end of the tunnel. What a blessing that is.
I'm going to keep looking for that light. I mean, why not? We have to do something while we grieve. We have to try.
My heart is with each of you.
I am becoming more of a functioning mess. I am able to see patient's now. I sleep a lot better. I try to exercise and socialize on a regular basis. But I have days when the sense of loss and sorrow is so overwhelming, that all I can do is cry or wish I could cry. This is the way I grieve. It will lessen as time goes on and I will be grateful when that happens.
I envy you Janie and I wish I was more like you.
Bluebell
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