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Comment by Janie m Snitko on August 15, 2017 at 8:43pm

Bluebell I have a wonderful family support group that helps me hold it together are you by yourself?

Comment by Janie m Snitko on August 15, 2017 at 8:41pm

Hi everyone I was back at my mom's house today to continue to organize and pack her things. I was okay until I went in her special room with bears and clowns but her presence was overwhelming in this room and I knew she was with me. She continues to send me love and strength. I of course was crying but I needed to be strong. This process is hard and I said many times today my goodness Mama I do not believe all that you had that I was not aware of.  God be with her and all of us!!

Comment by BLUEBELL on August 15, 2017 at 11:21am

Tears again this morning and a broken heart. I try to keep busy, but the grief always catches up with me. I am also trying to find purpose for my life. But so many mornings I get up and ask myself what is the reason for me to get up today? I do not have the answer yet, but I will keep searching.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 13, 2017 at 10:01am

Theresa, I think there are going to be times when we feel that peace and there will be others when we just want to cry. And we sure will cry.

As awful as it feels I also know what it is. It's love. Grieving a loved one is just one of the many ways that we express how much we love that person.

Comment by Theresa on August 13, 2017 at 9:02am

Brett May God bless you also you seem like a very kind person as I'm just driving home from the supermarket I was thinking to myself gosh it's been so long since I've talk to my mom I guess it just gets further and further and further away I filled up with tears but like you said keep going
Sundays are the worst for me we used to go to my mothers every Sunday it's hard maybe one day like people say you'll have fond memories and not sadness I hope

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 13, 2017 at 7:57am

Theresa, I am so happy that you are finding peace. There are some things that we probably worry about too much. Our mom's certainly know that we love them, and there is no doubt that they are in peace.

I still need to tell my mom that I love her. I tell her all the time. That is more for me than her. She knows. 

Those questions will be answered one day. We all have to soldier through until then. God Bless you my friend. You deserve peace. We all do.

Comment by Theresa on August 13, 2017 at 6:25am

Yesterday I went to the cemetery and tried not to cry, but I couldn't hold it in.  I said to my mom you left so fast I didn't get to tell you how much I loved you.  I light a candle everynight next to her picture and tell her how much I love and miss her and I tell her I hope she knows it. 

I know my faith has gotten me through so far, I truly believe that God has prepared something so beautiful for us and that she is in peace.  I guess one day all of my questions will be answered.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 12, 2017 at 9:13pm

God Bless you, Janie. I think it's wonderful that you have this feeling. I wish that for everyone here. I do not know the backstory for every person on this board. We all have different feelings and different circumstances. I think a psychiatrist would have a field day with me. 

Comment by Janie m Snitko on August 12, 2017 at 3:52pm

Good evening everyone! I took a break and went to the beautiful Colorado mountain s for five days to see my childhood friend. The trip was wonderful and I saw the most beautiful shooting star with a fireball I was sure that was a sign from my mama that she was okay and happy! I so needed to get away ! I have so much more to do concerning my mama selling the house and getting everything done financially. I am stronger now and I hope I will stay that way . I know my Mama would not want me to do anything but be strong. I have never loved anyone like I loved my sweet Mama! Stay strong everyone and think what your Mama would like you to do and be for her!! Have a great weekend.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 9, 2017 at 8:16pm

Theresa, that makes me worry about the third year. I don't see how it could be worse though. I think that I may have started out having more endurance. Now I am so tired. Tired but so anxious. But more than anything, no matter how the psychiatry works, I just really miss my mom. It's not just missing. "Missing" is not strong enough of a word. It's the separation that is killing me.

I want to say this again. It means a lot to me to be able to talk about how much I grieve my mom's passing. I can get caught up in myself, but I know that I am not the only person who is grieving here. Everyone who is on this site is here because they have lost someone so dear to them, maybe even the greatest love of their life. I am with you. I pray for you and I know that you are also hurting badly. I pray for each of you by name. What's left of my heart is with you all. May God Bless You.

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