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For the non- religious- where do we go when we die?
I titled this post for the non-religious simply because I don't know what I believe. I have always been very analytical and I am trying to wrap my head around death which is so abstract.
Where do we go when we die if it's not a place dictated by religion? I fully support those with strong faith and am so grateful that those people are comforted by their faith. It's just that my mind has always considered a wide variety of options, making it far more difficult to bring my brain any peace.
This is not a post to encourage people to respond trying to convert me to religion so please don't attempt that. I just want to invite others to share their non-religious beliefs about where we go when we die. Do you believe our bodies have energy that can never be destroyed? Do you believe that the essence on someone it around you and can communicate with you?
I'm just so confused. My mother at age 84 died quite suddenly only a month ago. We knew she was sick, but we went for answers and she only spent one night in hospital and died the next day due to having been over-medicated on opioid medication through the night. We know the hospital made a mistake, the doctor admitted it, but we would never be able to deal with the emotional agony of holding them accountable for it. The truth is, we know that if she had lived, she would have had few remaining years and they would have all been full of treatments, hospitals and pain.
I still want something I can hold on to though. Just knowing it probably spared her pain in the long term is not enough. ,I have so many questions for which there are no answers. I want to know if my mom knew she was going to die, why did she use all the energy she had to fling her arm over me as I stood by her bedside when she had no strength, was totally out of it, and couldn't breath, was she mad at me for not understanding she couldn't breath, was she mad that I didn't do something more to help. What was she trying to tell me, or was she not even aware she did that, was it just an involuntary burst of energy!?
After they rolled her our of her room to the ICU I want to know if was she ever in any pain before she died. Did she know they were putting a tube down her throat and into her stomach and a port in her neck? Did she feel it?
I looked at her Face when she flung her arm over me as I stood at her bedside, her eyes had pinpoint pupils and she appeared vacant. I can't understand why I didn't say anything to her. I should have said "mom, can you hear me" , "mom, we are getting help".... but I just ran out of the room and called a nurse. Did my mom know I tried? It had been raining that day and The moment right after we were told she died there was a huge crack of lightening in the sky. Was that her?
I'm sorry, I'm so off topic....I just have so many questions and it defies my logic not to have answers. I wish sometimes I could just turn my brain off and accept there are just no answers sometimes....so sorry for rambling....I'm having a rough day.
My heart goes out to all of you who have lost loved ones.
Where do we go when we die if it's not a place dictated by religion? I fully support those with strong faith and am so grateful that those people are comforted by their faith. It's just that my mind has always considered a wide variety of options, making it far more difficult to bring my brain any peace.
This is not a post to encourage people to respond trying to convert me to religion so please don't attempt that. I just want to invite others to share their non-religious beliefs about where we go when we die. Do you believe our bodies have energy that can never be destroyed? Do you believe that the essence on someone it around you and can communicate with you?
I'm just so confused. My mother at age 84 died quite suddenly only a month ago. We knew she was sick, but we went for answers and she only spent one night in hospital and died the next day due to having been over-medicated on opioid medication through the night. We know the hospital made a mistake, the doctor admitted it, but we would never be able to deal with the emotional agony of holding them accountable for it. The truth is, we know that if she had lived, she would have had few remaining years and they would have all been full of treatments, hospitals and pain.
I still want something I can hold on to though. Just knowing it probably spared her pain in the long term is not enough. ,I have so many questions for which there are no answers. I want to know if my mom knew she was going to die, why did she use all the energy she had to fling her arm over me as I stood by her bedside when she had no strength, was totally out of it, and couldn't breath, was she mad at me for not understanding she couldn't breath, was she mad that I didn't do something more to help. What was she trying to tell me, or was she not even aware she did that, was it just an involuntary burst of energy!?
After they rolled her our of her room to the ICU I want to know if was she ever in any pain before she died. Did she know they were putting a tube down her throat and into her stomach and a port in her neck? Did she feel it?
I looked at her Face when she flung her arm over me as I stood at her bedside, her eyes had pinpoint pupils and she appeared vacant. I can't understand why I didn't say anything to her. I should have said "mom, can you hear me" , "mom, we are getting help".... but I just ran out of the room and called a nurse. Did my mom know I tried? It had been raining that day and The moment right after we were told she died there was a huge crack of lightening in the sky. Was that her?
I'm sorry, I'm so off topic....I just have so many questions and it defies my logic not to have answers. I wish sometimes I could just turn my brain off and accept there are just no answers sometimes....so sorry for rambling....I'm having a rough day.
My heart goes out to all of you who have lost loved ones.
Views: 648
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lynda on
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Thanks Richard, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I'm quite open minded which is why I asked the question. I really do want to know what others think/feel. I guess I'm still just trying to decide what I believe. I'm just not sure.
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Permalink Reply by joanne on
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I don't think anybody has the answer to this question , but I choose to believe that there is something else.Before Andy died I used to think when you die it's the end, there's nothing, but now I've had many vivid dreams, I've felt him lying next to me and when I've sobbed all night and told him I need his help with certain things, I know that he his somewhere helping me and my children, and I truly believe that, I don't believe theres a god, but I believe our souls are eternal. I might be wrong but we will all find out one day, but until then I will keep believing x Also in one of my vivid dreams Andy said to me "jo there is an afterlife, it's just not what you think"
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AnneJ, what a well written and thoughtful reply to my question. I will be borrowing your words if you don't mind:
"We die...it's nature , it's normal if we didn't have such feelings of dependence on each other which is a very real survival instinct, we'd be OK with that"
This is so very true. I guess every person in our life fills some kind of need we have. So for those of us who continue to have profound difficulty getting over the loss of an important person in our lives , if we can determine what that need was we had and how the person filled it we can begin to conceptualize having that need met in an alternate way so it may ease some of the pain. (as difficult as that would be to do) It will of course never change the memories or the impact THAT person had on our lives, but rather help us in better understanding ourselves and maybe give us a reason to stretch beyond our own personal limits and try new things and explore life differently.
In my case, my mother was very smart and I knew I could always go to her for answers. So I did. Now I can't. Knowing this, now, when I have a problem i think, "how would mom problem solve this"? Then I follow the steps I think she would have taken. So, like Joanne said below, it just may be that the thoughts or spirit of that person is guiding you in a way that can't be described, whether that is just as a result of the impact they had on your life, or whether they are somehow helping you from beyond to tap into a deeper self conscience. I do know that when I am making decisions it's almost like I can hear my mothers voice giving her opinion in my head so it does make me pause...not necessarily reconsider lol! I guess I'm just trying to find a way to keep her with me in a way that I recognize and in a way by which I can feel comforted.
I like what Jo's Andy told her in her dream "there is an afterlife, it's just not what you think"..those words help me to look at death more like an adventure than something to be frightened of (I mean for my own death some day)
Have a good weekend all, please do one nice thing for yourselves today.
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