Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.
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Hi Theresa. I guess I was typing around the same time you were
It was 3 months May 14th on Mother's Day. I am a grown woman. I should not need my mother anymore. But right now I do and she is not here.
I am sorry you felt so bad earlier.
Bluebell
I feel so alone, scared and lost right now that I can hardly stand it. I hate that she is gone. I know that hate is a strong word, but right now it is the only one that describes how I feel. 3 am in the morning is a bad time to feel like I do. I am by myself with nobody to talk to and nothing to distract me. I tried calling a friend earlier but he did not answer the phone. I just want so desperately to be comforted and know that somebody cares.
Bluebell
Bluebell, how long is it now?
Take your time, I went in my garage last night and looked over in a box that i have some of my moms stuff and there was her cooking pot that she used to use to make us stew on Sundays, I broke down in tears horribly.
I tell people this has changed my life significantly.
God Bless you Bluebell.
Bad evening. I am feeling sad and alone. I am going to try and distract myself with watching TV.
Bluebell
Theresa,
"You have to live your life, I lived mine". Your Mom sounds like a very wise woman. I feel like I am getting to know her through your words.
Bluebell
Bluebell, next month will be 1 1/2 years...saying years seems not right.
Can I tell you that I believe she is seeing more beautiful things now than she ever did...
I guess my life is now different and will be until it is my time to leave the earth, my mom used to tell me when we visited the cemetary as we were leaving, "you have to live your life, I lived mine", those words keep going through my mind and I say, its hard mom, really hard.
I will always miss my Mom. Today I saw a Monarch butterfly and ask her if she was seeing it too. I hope that this has not been taken away from her. She enjoyed beautiful things such as this.
Theresa-I still go over the last moments of her life in my mind. I think I will until I am done with processing it.
Bluebell
I am just sitting here tonight wondering will my life ever change?
Will I always miss my mom, everyday and everynight?
Will I ever stop thinking about her laying there in the hospital when I just talked to her a half hour before?
I feel blank......I just dont' know..
Theresa
I think somehow your Mom influenced those pennies to be on her grave for you to find.
My Mom's birthday is also coming up in June. She would have been 99.
Bluebell
Bluebell, you are so lucky to have her come to you in a dream!
I went to the cemetery to bring my mom roses as I always gave her and on her grave stone was three pennies, no one goes there except for me, and I remembered she used to have a penny or two on the floor of her car. I said mom I know if you could somehow let me know its ok you would.
We all got through it, now for me her birthday is next month she would have been 94.
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