Why can't we all just wake up in the morning and realize that this was just a dream and our loved ones are laying beside us? Can't stand the holidays now, She made the holidays special. We was supposed to grow old together, I wanted to share my success with you and laugh and cry together. I don't understand why you had to go, I never will. Some people say "God needed her more" that type of stupid talk really makes me mad cause it makes absolutely no damn sense to me. I'm all alone with this pain. Nobody in my circle understands. They just try to cheer me up but I hate that, I can't and won't ignore the 800 pound elephant in the room. My beautiful wife has died after 20+ years of marriage and I won't go on like it's just a speed bump in my life. I will never be the same. I'm looking forward to leaving this world and being with my soulmate. Everyday is a struggle. I just don't know what to do now. I miss her so much it literally hurts.

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Believe me, I understand.  It's been one year and two months today.  I ache for my husband.  I want my husband.  I would give all of my tomorrow's for just 24 hours with him.  At least once a day I scream his name.   Life will never be as it was.

I understand fully. It's the worst pain ever. Keep your head up..
Kevin, welcome to a sacrificial life of fatherhood. It is a cold, dark place where everyone expects u to chin up and smile. It gets worse as well. However, we can understand how to provide the best support for all Our children's circumstances. I love you bro. I am here with u thome it may be too dark to see
I really appreciate that Jon- Paul, much love and respect to you and everybody else in this support group. You beautiful people are even closer to me than some of my own family and so called friends. We understand eachother and unlike most people I talk to in my every day life, the ones that don't wanna see me depressed, just Happy and smiling and not talking about my beautiful wife. We speak the same language and We have true empathy for what eachothers going through. When I read these comments, I truly feel your pain and it hurts me so deeply that we're in this hell. You beautiful people are my shoulders to cry on.

Almost at the 15 month mark of losing my soulmate, my heart of over 29 years.  The pain doesn't go away, you just learn to live with it.  I still cry daily, I can almost talk about my husband without crying, almost, I can look back on memories now and smile some.  I still can't bring myself to watch the video we made on our last xmas together, maybe someday, but it still hurts too much.  I'm lucky that the people I know don't try to cheer me up, they tell me in time it will get better, it will get easier, and they just hug me. Grieve for as long as you want, there is no time limit.  No one who hasn't lost their soulmate will ever understand the vast emptiness we feel.

Robin I feel the same way, I just feel a little comfort being surrounded by her pictures but I can't really look at them for too long because I just wanna go back to that time. My grief is apart of me, it's a wound that will never heal or get better but I know I hurt because I love and that's why I can deal with it. I will always love her, therefore I will always be in this pain.
Really relate to what you say here, Kevin. t's strange how things can be comforting and painful at the same time. We never had any photographs of each other on display, but after my husband died it was one of the first things I did, getting digital photos printed and looking for older envelopes of photographs. I put some in frames and now they are everywhere in our home. I do love seeing them and seeing him looking happy and full of life, but I know what you mean about gazing too long bringing tears. I also made an album with some of the pictures and some other things, ticket stubs and so on, from our life together, writing in it some details of when and where different moments occurred. It was painful doing it and I had to do it slowly, bit by bit over months. Since I finished it I have not been able to look at it but I am glad it is there, waiting for me to be ready.

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